Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 10:29     Subject: Re:Swim Excuse Note

This is why we're screwed as a society. People can't handle requirements and want to scream and shout about any and every thing their children say they don't want to do. There's too much self-centeredness in American culture. No willingness to sacrifice comfort for the greater good or to merely overcome something you find challenging, annoying or intimidating.

This is why kids are growing up entitled and spoiled and transitioning into dysfunctional adults. Sad.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 09:50     Subject: Swim Excuse Note

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You're sending her these messages:

Your backne is embarrassing.

Your insecurities are more important than other's' insecurities.

When life is unpleasant, you should avoid it.


Exactly.

OP, this sends a terrible message to your kid.


I don't think any of you remember what it was like to be a 14 year old girl. Or you're men.


And you think the other 14 yr old girls in class really want to do the swim class? I guarantee none of them do. Should they all get a note from mom because they don’t want to do it? Only the boys have to swim? Or is it is everyone that doesn’t feel like swimming doesn’t have to?


I think the obvious answer is that middle school swim programs needn’t exist for anyone. Does absolutely no one any good.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 09:42     Subject: Re:Swim Excuse Note

What school makes this mandatory in 8th grade? ( sorry if this was already answered)
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 09:40     Subject: Swim Excuse Note

I had gym class, with a swim unit first period of school. Showers didn’t have hot water or curtains. We all hated it. Plus none of my friends were in class.

We would complain in the locker rooms and then after, but as it turns out, we bonded over the misery we had in common. Locker room chatter eventually turned from complaints and to fun or sometimes serious conversation. While none of us were BFFs or stayed good friends afterward, we had a bond and shared knowing smiles and waves in the halls and occasional chit chat there on out. I do believe we all benefited from getting through something none of wanted to do and was inconvenient and uncomfortable
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 09:33     Subject: Swim Excuse Note

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You're sending her these messages:

Your backne is embarrassing.

Your insecurities are more important than other's' insecurities.

When life is unpleasant, you should avoid it.


Exactly.

OP, this sends a terrible message to your kid.


I don't think any of you remember what it was like to be a 14 year old girl. Or you're men.


And you think the other 14 yr old girls in class really want to do the swim class? I guarantee none of them do. Should they all get a note from mom because they don’t want to do it? Only the boys have to swim? Or is it is everyone that doesn’t feel like swimming doesn’t have to?


Except boys have issues, too. I wonder if any of them have a fake note. "Not developing chest hair yet." "Self conscious about development." " Might get a hard on while wearing a bathing suit."


Yep. My husband was a chubby kid with glasses and acne all throughout middle school and early HS. Even now, he’s self conscious about going swimming and mostly does it in order to spend time with us. He would’ve despised a swim unit, but there’s no way his mom would’ve let him out of it.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 09:29     Subject: Swim Excuse Note

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You're sending her these messages:

Your backne is embarrassing.

Your insecurities are more important than other's' insecurities.

When life is unpleasant, you should avoid it.


Exactly.

OP, this sends a terrible message to your kid.


I don't think any of you remember what it was like to be a 14 year old girl. Or you're men.


And you think the other 14 yr old girls in class really want to do the swim class? I guarantee none of them do. Should they all get a note from mom because they don’t want to do it? Only the boys have to swim? Or is it is everyone that doesn’t feel like swimming doesn’t have to?


Except boys have issues, too. I wonder if any of them have a fake note. "Not developing chest hair yet." "Self conscious about development." " Might get a hard on while wearing a bathing suit."
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 09:29     Subject: Re:Swim Excuse Note

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand what the basis for the doctor’s note would be.


Seizure disorder, chlorine allergy, broken bone, open wound


OP’s kid doesn’t have any of those things.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 09:27     Subject: Swim Excuse Note

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You're sending her these messages:

Your backne is embarrassing.

Your insecurities are more important than other's' insecurities.

When life is unpleasant, you should avoid it.


Exactly.

OP, this sends a terrible message to your kid.


I don't think any of you remember what it was like to be a 14 year old girl. Or you're men.


Try being 14 with a physical disability, that is even more obvious with bare legs. Scars from surgery on full display, balance issues on a wet pool deck. Coordination problems making you slower than everyone else while changing especially when cold. ALWAYS being the last one out of the change room while the rest of the class waited.



As an aside - my kids and their classmates have been very very supportive of kids with disabilities. That does not mean that kids with disabilities are suddenly all happy that they are accepted. It’s not a Saturday morning cartoon. But, it is a lot different than 20 years ago. A quick way to get your ass kicked in most middle and high schools now is to harass a handicapped kid.

A story - when my youngest was in 7th grade a new kid moved in the district. He was small but that’s not unusual for 7th grade. He changed for gym class in a bathroom. Again, different but not unique. One day fairly early on in the school year though his gym shirt got pulled up exposing a very large scar on his side. 7th grade boys being 7th grade boys were not grossed out. They wanted to know how he got that. Turned out, when he was 8, he was bitten by a shark. He was, of course, immediately nicknamed “Shark Bait”, but everyone, including the girls, thought his scars were cool.

Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 09:16     Subject: Swim Excuse Note

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You're sending her these messages:

Your backne is embarrassing.

Your insecurities are more important than other's' insecurities.

When life is unpleasant, you should avoid it.


Exactly.

OP, this sends a terrible message to your kid.


I don't think any of you remember what it was like to be a 14 year old girl. Or you're men.


And you think the other 14 yr old girls in class really want to do the swim class? I guarantee none of them do. Should they all get a note from mom because they don’t want to do it? Only the boys have to swim? Or is it is everyone that doesn’t feel like swimming doesn’t have to?
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 09:13     Subject: Re:Swim Excuse Note

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand what the basis for the doctor’s note would be.


Seizure disorder, chlorine allergy, broken bone, open wound
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 09:11     Subject: Swim Excuse Note

Anonymous wrote:She needs to suck it up, and you do too as a parent.


Agree. All the girls hate the swim unit for similar reasons. This is not note worthy. Your DD does not have a special excuse.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 09:11     Subject: Swim Excuse Note

Parent getting played.

Get out of swim unit. Get out of dissection in Bio. Call me in sick to get out of test because not ready. And more of course.

Oh but she is really sad or nervous. And, if she was telling you, “I just don’t want to get my hair wet. It’s a pain to deal with”, would you let her get out of swimming?

You got played like a 10 cent flute.

Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 08:53     Subject: Swim Excuse Note

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You're sending her these messages:

Your backne is embarrassing.

Your insecurities are more important than other's' insecurities.

When life is unpleasant, you should avoid it.


Exactly.

OP, this sends a terrible message to your kid.


I don't think any of you remember what it was like to be a 14 year old girl. Or you're men.


Try being 14 with a physical disability, that is even more obvious with bare legs. Scars from surgery on full display, balance issues on a wet pool deck. Coordination problems making you slower than everyone else while changing especially when cold. ALWAYS being the last one out of the change room while the rest of the class waited.

Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 08:49     Subject: Re:Swim Excuse Note

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Im surprised by these answers! OP I would have done what you did. It’s not like she’s asking for excuses to get out of things all the time and not is swimming in front of a group of your colleagues and classmates a necessary life skill.


No, but grit and resilience sure are.


What do grit and resilience do with not getting into a pool? At my Child's school if kids wanted to opt out of the swim unit they would run laps or do cardio which takes plenty of grit and resilience. This is ridiculous and I'm doubting whether you should be a parent yourself if you are.


You've missed the point. It's not which exercise they're doing. It's the fact that op's daughter feels uncomfortable. And instead of figuring out ways to help her survive this weeks long unit with tools to help her (rash guard, swim cap), instead op's mom is letting her not do the required unit and getting a DOCTOR to lie about it (yes I know that the doc didn't write something specific, but it's still a doctors note, so it implies a medical issue). Maybe those of us who had to do uncomfortable things and move on learned from it, maybe we are stronger for it. Parents these days are taking all obstacles from their children in a misguided attempt to keep them happy and mentally healthy. If the op's kid were getting bullied over a swimsuit it would be one thing. But her reasons are not enough to pull her, imo.

When this kid can't handle college and real life with any sort of resilience, this is the type of thing that op will forget had anything to do with it. Isn't there a post here about a 30 year old man who is MAD at his parents for giving him too much and now his credit score isn't great? So people are suggesting to help him even more. Let's get serious here...we are creating a generation of entitled kids if we do things like this.


lol

Don't want to get in a bathing suit in front of your middle school peers? Enjoy failing at life, loser!


Seriously? Is this really the only way in which she'll be able to overcome obstacles and learn resilience?


+1 I’m all for grit and resilience, but 8th grade swim class is an absurd example.


Teaching a kid how to work through normal levels of body insecurity is actually pretty significant in terms of teaching resilience and ways of coping with insecurities.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 08:46     Subject: Re:Swim Excuse Note

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Im surprised by these answers! OP I would have done what you did. It’s not like she’s asking for excuses to get out of things all the time and not is swimming in front of a group of your colleagues and classmates a necessary life skill.


No, but grit and resilience sure are.


What do grit and resilience do with not getting into a pool? At my Child's school if kids wanted to opt out of the swim unit they would run laps or do cardio which takes plenty of grit and resilience. This is ridiculous and I'm doubting whether you should be a parent yourself if you are.


You've missed the point. It's not which exercise they're doing. It's the fact that op's daughter feels uncomfortable. And instead of figuring out ways to help her survive this weeks long unit with tools to help her (rash guard, swim cap), instead op's mom is letting her not do the required unit and getting a DOCTOR to lie about it (yes I know that the doc didn't write something specific, but it's still a doctors note, so it implies a medical issue). Maybe those of us who had to do uncomfortable things and move on learned from it, maybe we are stronger for it. Parents these days are taking all obstacles from their children in a misguided attempt to keep them happy and mentally healthy. If the op's kid were getting bullied over a swimsuit it would be one thing. But her reasons are not enough to pull her, imo.

When this kid can't handle college and real life with any sort of resilience, this is the type of thing that op will forget had anything to do with it. Isn't there a post here about a 30 year old man who is MAD at his parents for giving him too much and now his credit score isn't great? So people are suggesting to help him even more. Let's get serious here...we are creating a generation of entitled kids if we do things like this.


lol

Don't want to get in a bathing suit in front of your middle school peers? Enjoy failing at life, loser!


Seriously? Is this really the only way in which she'll be able to overcome obstacles and learn resilience?


+1 I’m all for grit and resilience, but 8th grade swim class is an absurd example.