Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is anonymous so I will be honest. I am not hiring a male to watch my children. My children are males. I don’t want them influenced or encouraged to see this as normal for men.

Wow. You sound dumb.

Her kids are miserable being with such a controlling, narrow thinking mom

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A sea change of more men breaking from traditional domestic and occupational roles to enter the field of education would indeed help:
1) deconstruct toxic cycles where boys are taught they need to be the primary bread winner and threatened by women earning more.
2) shift societal “norms” where men seem to by default not share or even assume the majority of childcare responsibilities

Why this will never happen…

how many boys in their right mind would knowingly enter a field where they will:
1) be paid less to be in a work environment dominated by the female majority where they will still be blamed for the misogynist constructs that benefit the men who did not take the same noble career path.
2) be labeled by many as a possible pedophile for going into education

And should that male educator happen to find themselves in one of the 50% of marriages that don’t work out and they have children, they’ll find themselves a single dad that will be looked down upon for receiving child support, have limited options as a result for attracting a new partner, and still be questioned for their intentions as a male educator.

Not clamoring to encourage my boys to take that path to be a martyr for what would be more beneficial to society overall (and the advancement of women).

Sorry for also sidetracking the original question about babysitting. But some of the responses speak to deeper questions that are related to why it’s probably best to encourage your son to find other options for earning extra money just in case they actually find themselves talented in connecting with and teaching children. Society won’t support it.

It's never going to change until those jobs are better paid. Even women are turning away from them now (I'm thinking about teachers, nurses). Increase the pay and attract more men and women. We particularly need more men in education.

Let me add that it's interesting to see how some professions were highly regarded when done by men (like teachers) but when women started taking those jobs the profession dropped in prestige and remuneration. My job used to be super fancy when only men were doing it. Not so much the case now that we are mostly women.

what is your job? secretary?

Not the PP, but I think corporate HR is like this. Used to be a male job and now not as prestigious or sought after and done by women.

Anonymous wrote:What’s he going to do without a car if the kids need to be rushed to a hospital?

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a progressive, but I do actually prefer male babysitters! I have 3 boys, 1 with asd, and the boys just handle the energy better. But it took a very trusted family friend’s son and some time to get there. Ultimately I decided I had to look/assess the individual. Now I just wish more males would go into early education and therapist roles. Oh well!

We have a son who would love to pursue a career in education and it is extremely difficult to support him. DH and I look often tease about we hope he finds a doctor wife or someone who was born with money. It's unfortunate that we can't just tell him to go out and do what he loves.

Why can’t you? I don’t get it. You don’t think he would make enough money but you would be ok with a daughter making the same? Or is it that you don’t think he will get hired as a man ?

I will answer you honestly. I don't think he could support a family on that salary. I think that women have the "luxury" (put in quotes because I'm well aware that it's a double-edged sword as I've lived it myself) to choose a lucrative career and then, when kids are born, decide that they are actually better off staying home to care for the children, whether that's forever or just for a bit of time. Not all women feel that way but, just in my experience, I've found that there is a strong biological need for women to stay close to their children when they are young. Some women don't feel that way and some are able to put that desire behind them because they have to work for one reason or another. But men, for the most part, are usually left to keep working to support the family or are told that they don't make enough so they have to stay home to care for the kids (when their biological desire to do so is often lacking). It's usually the woman who has the choice in deciding how this all goes down.

I am very aware that these are generalizations but, without knowing how the future job or economic landscape will be, it's difficult to encourage our son to pursue a career where his salary won't be able to absorb the impact of his partner's choices as they start a family. I want him to be able to tell his partner to do as she sees fit when it comes to their children and her role as a mother. I don't want him to have to look her in the eye and tell her that they need her to stay at her job and put their kid in care when she would otherwise choose to stay home. Of course, if he felt he could stay home and watch the kids and her income could sustain the family, that would be great! But how do you anticipate that when your 19 year old is trying to choose a career?

I see where you're coming from but I also see that this mindset perpetuates the gender gap. You have higher expectations career-wise for your son than you would have for a daughter. You think a man needs income more than a woman does. Saying that women can have the luxury to stay home is really a long shot or can be damaging her earning potential for life. In short, this is how we continue pushing girls towards disposable low pay jobs and boys towards high pay jobs. The reality is that most households need 2 jobs are many that don't still prefer the security of having 2 paychecks. I don't know. Maybe things are different in different circles, but I never ever expected to be able to stay home.

I'm a lawyer. I blew up my career because, once I had those kids, I couldn't imagine giving one more ounce of energy and ambition to some stupid firm while others, whom I didn't know, were staying with my kids. I did keep working after my first child because I thought that's what I wanted. In fact, it was what I wanted at that point. By the time I had my second child, I felt differently. When it comes to one's individual family, the overarching problems with the gender gap are a far cry away from what you believe is best. I was lucky my spouse could support all of my choices. I hope my son is one day in a position to support his partner's choices. I don't have a daughter. If I did, I would encourage her to pursue any career she wanted and hope (or maybe warn her) that she isn't one day in a position where her chosen career feels like the proverbial ball and chain.

You blew up your career because being a lawyer at a firm sucks and is completely unforgiving and inflexible when you have kids. Bad choice. Except if you’re a man and are going to need to support your family right? Then it’s amazing.

So you're saying women shouldn't become lawyers for firms? That's horrible.

I don't think anyone should become a lawyer for a firm. They are horrible jobs. Ask me how I know. The point is this poster advising her son not to be a teacher because he won't be able to support a family when his wife wants to (and deserves to according to her) stop working is definitely affected by the top of job she had.

Lots of people choose careers with future family balance in mind and want to work while having children and prefer this setup for a 2-parent working family so that BOTH parents can have a balanced life and spend quality time with their children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a progressive, but I do actually prefer male babysitters! I have 3 boys, 1 with asd, and the boys just handle the energy better. But it took a very trusted family friend’s son and some time to get there. Ultimately I decided I had to look/assess the individual. Now I just wish more males would go into early education and therapist roles. Oh well!

We have a son who would love to pursue a career in education and it is extremely difficult to support him. DH and I look often tease about we hope he finds a doctor wife or someone who was born with money. It's unfortunate that we can't just tell him to go out and do what he loves.

Why can’t you? I don’t get it. You don’t think he would make enough money but you would be ok with a daughter making the same? Or is it that you don’t think he will get hired as a man ?

I will answer you honestly. I don't think he could support a family on that salary. I think that women have the "luxury" (put in quotes because I'm well aware that it's a double-edged sword as I've lived it myself) to choose a lucrative career and then, when kids are born, decide that they are actually better off staying home to care for the children, whether that's forever or just for a bit of time. Not all women feel that way but, just in my experience, I've found that there is a strong biological need for women to stay close to their children when they are young. Some women don't feel that way and some are able to put that desire behind them because they have to work for one reason or another. But men, for the most part, are usually left to keep working to support the family or are told that they don't make enough so they have to stay home to care for the kids (when their biological desire to do so is often lacking). It's usually the woman who has the choice in deciding how this all goes down.

I am very aware that these are generalizations but, without knowing how the future job or economic landscape will be, it's difficult to encourage our son to pursue a career where his salary won't be able to absorb the impact of his partner's choices as they start a family. I want him to be able to tell his partner to do as she sees fit when it comes to their children and her role as a mother. I don't want him to have to look her in the eye and tell her that they need her to stay at her job and put their kid in care when she would otherwise choose to stay home. Of course, if he felt he could stay home and watch the kids and her income could sustain the family, that would be great! But how do you anticipate that when your 19 year old is trying to choose a career?

I see where you're coming from but I also see that this mindset perpetuates the gender gap. You have higher expectations career-wise for your son than you would have for a daughter. You think a man needs income more than a woman does. Saying that women can have the luxury to stay home is really a long shot or can be damaging her earning potential for life. In short, this is how we continue pushing girls towards disposable low pay jobs and boys towards high pay jobs. The reality is that most households need 2 jobs are many that don't still prefer the security of having 2 paychecks. I don't know. Maybe things are different in different circles, but I never ever expected to be able to stay home.

I'm a lawyer. I blew up my career because, once I had those kids, I couldn't imagine giving one more ounce of energy and ambition to some stupid firm while others, whom I didn't know, were staying with my kids. I did keep working after my first child because I thought that's what I wanted. In fact, it was what I wanted at that point. By the time I had my second child, I felt differently. When it comes to one's individual family, the overarching problems with the gender gap are a far cry away from what you believe is best. I was lucky my spouse could support all of my choices. I hope my son is one day in a position to support his partner's choices. I don't have a daughter. If I did, I would encourage her to pursue any career she wanted and hope (or maybe warn her) that she isn't one day in a position where her chosen career feels like the proverbial ball and chain.

You blew up your career because being a lawyer at a firm sucks and is completely unforgiving and inflexible when you have kids. Bad choice. Except if you’re a man and are going to need to support your family right? Then it’s amazing.

So you're saying women shouldn't become lawyers for firms? That's horrible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A sea change of more men breaking from traditional domestic and occupational roles to enter the field of education would indeed help:
1) deconstruct toxic cycles where boys are taught they need to be the primary bread winner and threatened by women earning more.
2) shift societal “norms” where men seem to by default not share or even assume the majority of childcare responsibilities

Why this will never happen…

how many boys in their right mind would knowingly enter a field where they will:
1) be paid less to be in a work environment dominated by the female majority where they will still be blamed for the misogynist constructs that benefit the men who did not take the same noble career path.
2) be labeled by many as a possible pedophile for going into education

And should that male educator happen to find themselves in one of the 50% of marriages that don’t work out and they have children, they’ll find themselves a single dad that will be looked down upon for receiving child support, have limited options as a result for attracting a new partner, and still be questioned for their intentions as a male educator.

Not clamoring to encourage my boys to take that path to be a martyr for what would be more beneficial to society overall (and the advancement of women).

Sorry for also sidetracking the original question about babysitting. But some of the responses speak to deeper questions that are related to why it’s probably best to encourage your son to find other options for earning extra money just in case they actually find themselves talented in connecting with and teaching children. Society won’t support it.

It's never going to change until those jobs are better paid. Even women are turning away from them now (I'm thinking about teachers, nurses). Increase the pay and attract more men and women. We particularly need more men in education.

Let me add that it's interesting to see how some professions were highly regarded when done by men (like teachers) but when women started taking those jobs the profession dropped in prestige and remuneration. My job used to be super fancy when only men were doing it. Not so much the case now that we are mostly women.

what is your job? secretary?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two boys, I would not hire a male babysitter. I just wouldn’t. I realize it’s a double standard, but I was molester by a male babysitter and it’s not worth the risk for me.

You will one day reap the irony of failing to trust young men when your young men are not trusted one day.

Oh shut up. What kind of parent would put their kids in the same situation they were molested in.

Ok. Just be prepared for your kids to always be viewed as pedophiles.

It's ok. My son will get over the discrimination over babysitting and daycare jobs.

We get it. You’re a sexist pig. No need to keep doubling down.

Yep and it’s the same person that will be complaining later on in life that her husband isn’t nurturing towards kids Or know how to take care of them, because they were being blocked and labeled at an early age. These parents don’t understand the stats. Start watching male family members more than a 14 year old babysitter as stats back up that the parents should be more concerned about family molesting their children. Parents here seem to hate facts and evidence.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think at 14, boy or girl, I would only hire a neighbor’s kid who I know well. And not for a child younger than 5-6.

This is just so odd to me. I was watching kids as young as toddlers from 12 on. Mostly just for a few hours so mom and dad could get a meal alone. This was before cell phones! The horror!

Anonymous wrote:I use adults to watch my children.

I would hire a college male to drive my kids maybe.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A sea change of more men breaking from traditional domestic and occupational roles to enter the field of education would indeed help:
1) deconstruct toxic cycles where boys are taught they need to be the primary bread winner and threatened by women earning more.
2) shift societal “norms” where men seem to by default not share or even assume the majority of childcare responsibilities

Why this will never happen…

how many boys in their right mind would knowingly enter a field where they will:
1) be paid less to be in a work environment dominated by the female majority where they will still be blamed for the misogynist constructs that benefit the men who did not take the same noble career path.
2) be labeled by many as a possible pedophile for going into education

And should that male educator happen to find themselves in one of the 50% of marriages that don’t work out and they have children, they’ll find themselves a single dad that will be looked down upon for receiving child support, have limited options as a result for attracting a new partner, and still be questioned for their intentions as a male educator.

Not clamoring to encourage my boys to take that path to be a martyr for what would be more beneficial to society overall (and the advancement of women).

Sorry for also sidetracking the original question about babysitting. But some of the responses speak to deeper questions that are related to why it’s probably best to encourage your son to find other options for earning extra money just in case they actually find themselves talented in connecting with and teaching children. Society won’t support it.

It's never going to change until those jobs are better paid. Even women are turning away from them now (I'm thinking about teachers, nurses). Increase the pay and attract more men and women. We particularly need more men in education.

Let me add that it's interesting to see how some professions were highly regarded when done by men (like teachers) but when women started taking those jobs the profession dropped in prestige and remuneration. My job used to be super fancy when only men were doing it. Not so much the case now that we are mostly women.

what is your job? secretary?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is anonymous so I will be honest. I am not hiring a male to watch my children. My children are males. I don’t want them influenced or encouraged to see this as normal for men.

Wow. You sound dumb.