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Anonymous wrote:Undergrad prestige does NOT matter. At all. It’s been empirically proven. Smart kids do well anywhere, whether they’re at UMD or Stanford.

Dale and Kruger. Dale and Kruger. Dale and Kruger!!!

Yes, smart kids do well anywhere, and my kid is smart and hard-working enough to do well anywhere. That being said, they want to work on Wall Street, and the path there is much easier coming from a specific smaller set of schools.

Does that make you feel like you've failed as a parent? At least a bit? Honestly.

Honestly, no -- my husband works (and I worked -- now a SAHM) on Wall Street. We found it satisfying.

Have either of you ever contributed anything meaningful through that work? (To borrow from Rocky, the great bulk of finance careers always have struck be as both a great living and a waste of life.)

NP. Their tax dollars are probably funding the research you are doing, or the companies they're raising money for are employing the systems you are developing, or the VCs they are backing are desigining the climate solutions you are advocating policy for. Without that funding, the high-minded God's work you are doing wouldn't get out of your own head...

The argument that it's important to have a well-functioning system of financing worthwhile projects is easy and obviously correct. That's not, though, what the vast majority of "Wall Street" jobs do. The vast majority of Wall Streeters work in the secondary markets, not the primary ones, and the vast majority of roles in secondary markets are focused entirely on value distribution rather than value creation--they add literally nothing even as they parasitically extract riches (on which some of them pay some taxes, sure, but so would have the otherwise-holders of that extracted wealth). You surely can do well on Wall Street but you're unlikely to do good. Don't kid yourself. And don't bother going after strawmen. Want to take the other side of the argument? Explain what a high-frequency trader adds to society.

Anonymous wrote:Because they're insecure and shallow. The majority of them come from small towns and moved to the DMV to "make it big" and think they need to brag to be worthy. It's sad.

This. Whenever I tell people where my son goes to college, the strivers usually say “Never heard of it.” That’s the end of that conversation for them.

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Anonymous wrote:Undergrad prestige does NOT matter. At all. It’s been empirically proven. Smart kids do well anywhere, whether they’re at UMD or Stanford.

Dale and Kruger. Dale and Kruger. Dale and Kruger!!!

It does matter a lot. I know the research and simply do not buy it. The difference between UMD and Stanford is massive. Frankly the difference between UVA and UMD is massive and I am not a UVA fan. Simply put where you go (and how you do there) matters in terms of opening many pathways. Does that mean that if you go to UMD you have no chance? Of course not but there are less pathways to take you there. A smart kid will do well anywhere but may not have the same options depending on where you go.

What do you mean the difference between UVA and UMD is massive? For what? UMD's STEM programs are universally ranked higher than UVA and very well respected. And for the record, I attended neither school so have no dog in this fight.

Sure you can find a major where one school is better. But in general UVA will get you places UMD can't. I would argue that is true in STEM as well but happy to agree with you.

UVA is ranked no. 3 by USNWR for best public universities in America, right after UCLA and Berkeley. UMD is way down at 19.

I'm the PP and just wanted to add that my take on this comes from a conversation i had with a fellow parent when my kids (now teens) were in elementary school. I mentioned to this parent that we had a neighbor who home schools and I can't imagine making that type of commitment. This parent (a dad, although that's not really relevant) said "well, let's see where she (the child) ends up going to college."

I found that odd - because it was spoken as if college (specifically getting into it) was an endgame. While that result may tell you something about the child's education, it's not really a measure of success overall. The endgame (if you can call it that) is getting OUT of college, not in it (or "out" of whatever path you choose to a future vision).

On a related note, things seem to be going well for the teen so far - she's a lovely, kind and smart young person. I doubt she'll go to some prestigious school for a variety of reasons, including money. But I just found the whole conversation eye-opening. We are in the DMV ("W" school for my kids), so kind of in the thick of this mentality, I know.

Isn't the answer to the OP's question simply that this is the last step for which parents can claim some form of credit - they feel where their kid goes somehow demonstrates their success at parenting. They are wrong of course, but that's what's going on, when prestigious schools are possible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Undergrad prestige does NOT matter. At all. It’s been empirically proven. Smart kids do well anywhere, whether they’re at UMD or Stanford.

Dale and Kruger. Dale and Kruger. Dale and Kruger!!!

Yes, smart kids do well anywhere, and my kid is smart and hard-working enough to do well anywhere. That being said, they want to work on Wall Street, and the path there is much easier coming from a specific smaller set of schools.

Does that make you feel like you've failed as a parent? At least a bit? Honestly.

Honestly, no -- my husband works (and I worked -- now a SAHM) on Wall Street. We found it satisfying.

Have either of you ever contributed anything meaningful through that work? (To borrow from Rocky, the great bulk of finance careers always have struck be as both a great living and a waste of life.)

NP. Their tax dollars are probably funding the research you are doing, or the companies they're raising money for are employing the systems you are developing, or the VCs they are backing are desigining the climate solutions you are advocating policy for. Without that funding, the high-minded God's work you are doing wouldn't get out of your own head. Neither is better than the other, but both are necessary. And this, this is why DC sucks so much. Everyone competing against each other, no one working together.

And FWIW, the your college matters only for the college network you want to be a part of, which can (can) lead to a lot of other things. But you can succeed from anywhere. It's not the place, it's the person.

Other than politicians, who's not working together in DC? There are hundreds of thousands of us here who get along just fine, and make the country run even when uncooperative idiots occupy the White House and Congress.

Anonymous wrote:It's not just here.

No but it’s pretty off the charts

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Undergrad prestige does NOT matter. At all. It’s been empirically proven. Smart kids do well anywhere, whether they’re at UMD or Stanford.

Dale and Kruger. Dale and Kruger. Dale and Kruger!!!

Yes, smart kids do well anywhere, and my kid is smart and hard-working enough to do well anywhere. That being said, they want to work on Wall Street, and the path there is much easier coming from a specific smaller set of schools.

Does that make you feel like you've failed as a parent? At least a bit? Honestly.

Honestly, no -- my husband works (and I worked -- now a SAHM) on Wall Street. We found it satisfying.

Have either of you ever contributed anything meaningful through that work? (To borrow from Rocky, the great bulk of finance careers always have struck be as both a great living and a waste of life.)

NP. Their tax dollars are probably funding the research you are doing, or the companies they're raising money for are employing the systems you are developing, or the VCs they are backing are desigining the climate solutions you are advocating policy for. Without that funding, the high-minded God's work you are doing wouldn't get out of your own head. Neither is better than the other, but both are necessary. And this, this is why DC sucks so much. Everyone competing against each other, no one working together.

And FWIW, the your college matters only for the college network you want to be a part of, which can (can) lead to a lot of other things. But you can succeed from anywhere. It's not the place, it's the person.

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Anonymous wrote:Well, I’ll give my perspective. The future is only getting worse and wealth disparities are only getting more extreme. Wages have not kept up with the cost of living and inflation. UMC isn’t what it used to be, and even people making HHI in the top 20% feel strapped — that’s why you see so many people on here complain that there HHI of $250k “feels poor.”

I want my kids to be in the 1%. And to do that, the most sure fire way is to go to an Ivy (or Stanford/Duke/MIT), get a high GPA in a quantitative major (so no English majors in our household!), and graduate to make a ton of money in tech or finance.

I think this is the real reason why. Ivy obsession in this area is mainly from the UMC who want to launch their kids into the 1%.

And getting back to the original post, THEY ARE MISTAKEN about needing an elite college in order to do this. If the kid is a superstar, they're one regardless of the college they attend! Why are so many people willing to attribute their success to their alma mater instead of to their own superior abilities?

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Anonymous wrote:Cause if I am going to pay a boatload of money, I want the best name. Hyundai and Mercedes both get you from point A to point B--but if they are the same price, I want the Mercedes.

Ditto! I want the best money can buy

Why? Either way you are going to die, and you really won't care very much what car you drove.

The “nothing matters anyways” conversation is so tired and reductive. Sure it doesn’t matter, but it would also be fun to experience and be proud you went to Harvard or Duke or whatever. Top schools are highly sought brands for a reason!

I'll know I was a failure if on my deathbed I am thinking "Gee, I'm proud that I went to Harvard!"

Anonymous wrote:Well, I’ll give my perspective. The future is only getting worse and wealth disparities are only getting more extreme. Wages have not kept up with the cost of living and inflation. UMC isn’t what it used to be, and even people making HHI in the top 20% feel strapped — that’s why you see so many people on here complain that there HHI of $250k “feels poor.”

I want my kids to be in the 1%. And to do that, the most sure fire way is to go to an Ivy (or Stanford/Duke/MIT), get a high GPA in a quantitative major (so no English majors in our household!), and graduate to make a ton of money in tech or finance.

I think this is the real reason why. Ivy obsession in this area is mainly from the UMC who want to launch their kids into the 1%.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cause if I am going to pay a boatload of money, I want the best name. Hyundai and Mercedes both get you from point A to point B--but if they are the same price, I want the Mercedes.

Ditto! I want the best money can buy

Why? Either way you are going to die, and you really won't care very much what car you drove.

The “nothing matters anyways” conversation is so tired and reductive. Sure it doesn’t matter, but it would also be fun to experience and be proud you went to Harvard or Duke or whatever. Top schools are highly sought brands for a reason!

Nobody cares about Duke.

No one cares about Harvard or Stanford for that reason.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cause if I am going to pay a boatload of money, I want the best name. Hyundai and Mercedes both get you from point A to point B--but if they are the same price, I want the Mercedes.

Ditto! I want the best money can buy

Why? Either way you are going to die, and you really won't care very much what car you drove.

The “nothing matters anyways” conversation is so tired and reductive. Sure it doesn’t matter, but it would also be fun to experience and be proud you went to Harvard or Duke or whatever. Top schools are highly sought brands for a reason!

Nobody cares about Duke.

My kids care about Duke, one might ED next year

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cause if I am going to pay a boatload of money, I want the best name. Hyundai and Mercedes both get you from point A to point B--but if they are the same price, I want the Mercedes.

Ditto! I want the best money can buy

Why? Either way you are going to die, and you really won't care very much what car you drove.

The “nothing matters anyways” conversation is so tired and reductive. Sure it doesn’t matter, but it would also be fun to experience and be proud you went to Harvard or Duke or whatever. Top schools are highly sought brands for a reason!

Nobody cares about Duke.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cause if I am going to pay a boatload of money, I want the best name. Hyundai and Mercedes both get you from point A to point B--but if they are the same price, I want the Mercedes.

Ditto! I want the best money can buy

Why? Either way you are going to die, and you really won't care very much what car you drove.

The “nothing matters anyways” conversation is so tired and reductive. Sure it doesn’t matter, but it would also be fun to experience and be proud you went to Harvard or Duke or whatever. Top schools are highly sought brands for a reason!