Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a boyfriend when I was 14. What’s the big deal? No one here dated in high school? The horror!

You know it’s not the same as it was.

Bad idea.

This is true. Times have changed. We respect women far more than we did in the 70s and 80s. At 14, I thought my self worth was based completely on my desirability and whether some guy wanted to date me. Have you ever rewatched 80s films? Females are one dimensional characters that do nothing but expose themselves on screen to the enjoyment of male producers.

I think most young women today have a greater sense of autonomy and self worth. Dating that young is no longer required or , for some kids, on their minds at all. Thank goodness

Anonymous wrote:I had a boyfriend when I was 14. What’s the big deal? No one here dated in high school? The horror!

You know it’s not the same as it was.

Bad idea.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a boyfriend when I was 14. What’s the big deal? No one here dated in high school? The horror!

14 isn’t high school. This thread isn’t about forbidding dating all four years of high school, but about which year we start allowing it. Obviously parents’ opinion on this varies.

It is 9th grade for those of us who weren't held back and did not redshirt our kids. 14, 15, 16, 17 is high school for many. I turned 18 the July before I went to college.

Not allowing dating at 14 isn’t the same thing as not allowing dating at all in high school.

Gotcha. I thought the PP was saying 14 was middle school.

"Allowing" dating is hilarious. How do you prevent?

You can’t stop them from hanging out at school, but given 14 year olds don’t have a car, there’s a lot you can do to prevent dating otherwise, by simply monitoring where you taking the child and who they are hanging out with, and of course not allowing the girl to come over in the same way you would his friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a boyfriend when I was 14. What’s the big deal? No one here dated in high school? The horror!

14 isn’t high school. This thread isn’t about forbidding dating all four years of high school, but about which year we start allowing it. Obviously parents’ opinion on this varies.

It is 9th grade for those of us who weren't held back and did not redshirt our kids. 14, 15, 16, 17 is high school for many. I turned 18 the July before I went to college.

Not allowing dating at 14 isn’t the same thing as not allowing dating at all in high school.

Gotcha. I thought the PP was saying 14 was middle school.

"Allowing" dating is hilarious. How do you prevent?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a boyfriend when I was 14. What’s the big deal? No one here dated in high school? The horror!

14 isn’t high school. This thread isn’t about forbidding dating all four years of high school, but about which year we start allowing it. Obviously parents’ opinion on this varies.

It is 9th grade for those of us who weren't held back and did not redshirt our kids. 14, 15, 16, 17 is high school for many. I turned 18 the July before I went to college.

Not allowing dating at 14 isn’t the same thing as not allowing dating at all in high school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a boyfriend when I was 14. What’s the big deal? No one here dated in high school? The horror!

14 isn’t high school. This thread isn’t about forbidding dating all four years of high school, but about which year we start allowing it. Obviously parents’ opinion on this varies.

It is 9th grade for those of us who weren't held back and did not redshirt our kids. 14, 15, 16, 17 is high school for many. I turned 18 the July before I went to college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 14 yo son has a girlfriend. He just turned 14 in late Sept too so I feel this is on the young side. They FT each other and meet up at cafes or coffee shops near our house. Today is the first time she’s coming over to our house.

Is this what age it usually starts?? I had crushes but didn’t start dating seriously until 17!

17?!?!? I was a freshman in college at 17.

14 is normal

I was a freshman in college at 17 too. That is a good time to start dating, when you are out of the house.

Absolutely NOT. That is terrible advice. Dating while at home and monitoring their beginning relationships and giving advice, helping with heartache, etc.... is incredibly important.

College kids rarely date and definitely do NOT date slowly. Tons of sex and girls brand new to dating would have a terrible time navigating, have confidence and really no emotional support.

Maybe you are taking your experience and thinking that’s everyone’s. Not a single one of my close college friends had dated in high school. Some didn’t even date in college. But not one of my friends was having tons of sex and random hookups. Those weren’t my types of friends in college.

You ran in an extremely unusual crowd. None of your college friends dated in HS? Was it a Mennonite college?

No, it wasn’t an unusual crowd. It was not the typical frat crowd though.

Wait so only frat crowds have sex in college? LOL. Someone still has a lot of scars they need to address in therapy.

Never said they were the only ones, but with frats come a lot of parties, drinking, and hooks ups. Everyone knows that….my friends and I weren’t part of that crowd.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 14 yo son has a girlfriend. He just turned 14 in late Sept too so I feel this is on the young side. They FT each other and meet up at cafes or coffee shops near our house. Today is the first time she’s coming over to our house.

Is this what age it usually starts?? I had crushes but didn’t start dating seriously until 17!

17?!?!? I was a freshman in college at 17.

14 is normal

I was a freshman in college at 17 too. That is a good time to start dating, when you are out of the house.

Absolutely NOT. That is terrible advice. Dating while at home and monitoring their beginning relationships and giving advice, helping with heartache, etc.... is incredibly important.

College kids rarely date and definitely do NOT date slowly. Tons of sex and girls brand new to dating would have a terrible time navigating, have confidence and really no emotional support.

Maybe you are taking your experience and thinking that’s everyone’s. Not a single one of my close college friends had dated in high school. Some didn’t even date in college. But not one of my friends was having tons of sex and random hookups. Those weren’t my types of friends in college.

You ran in an extremely unusual crowd. None of your college friends dated in HS? Was it a Mennonite college?

No, it wasn’t an unusual crowd. It was not the typical frat crowd though.

EXTREMELY UNUSUAL to have an entire group of college friends who NEVER dated in high school. And then some never even dated into their 20s? That is BIZARRE and far outside developmental norms.

Not really. Sorry you can’t possibly think there are all kinds of people and groups in life. Shockingly, there were virgins at college too!!! When did I say there wasn’t dating in their 20s?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 14 yo son has a girlfriend. He just turned 14 in late Sept too so I feel this is on the young side. They FT each other and meet up at cafes or coffee shops near our house. Today is the first time she’s coming over to our house.

Is this what age it usually starts?? I had crushes but didn’t start dating seriously until 17!

17?!?!? I was a freshman in college at 17.

14 is normal

I was a freshman in college at 17 too. That is a good time to start dating, when you are out of the house.

Absolutely NOT. That is terrible advice. Dating while at home and monitoring their beginning relationships and giving advice, helping with heartache, etc.... is incredibly important.

College kids rarely date and definitely do NOT date slowly. Tons of sex and girls brand new to dating would have a terrible time navigating, have confidence and really no emotional support.

Maybe you are taking your experience and thinking that’s everyone’s. Not a single one of my close college friends had dated in high school. Some didn’t even date in college. But not one of my friends was having tons of sex and random hookups. Those weren’t my types of friends in college.

You ran in an extremely unusual crowd. None of your college friends dated in HS? Was it a Mennonite college?

No, it wasn’t an unusual crowd. It was not the typical frat crowd though.

Wait so only frat crowds have sex in college? LOL. Someone still has a lot of scars they need to address in therapy.

Anonymous wrote:There are 2 types of parents - those who understand their kids are growing up and yes are dating at 14/15 and those who stick their heads in the sand.

This is silly. Just because some kids are dating at 14 doesn’t mean all of them are or even that the majority of them are. My 15 year old isn’t dating and isn’t showing an interest in dating. She has parental permission to start dating at 16. Do I understand that some parents allow it at 14? Sure. Do I understand that teens are growing up at 14? Sure! That has nothing to do with which age we start allowing it in our house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 14 yo son has a girlfriend. He just turned 14 in late Sept too so I feel this is on the young side. They FT each other and meet up at cafes or coffee shops near our house. Today is the first time she’s coming over to our house.

Is this what age it usually starts?? I had crushes but didn’t start dating seriously until 17!

17?!?!? I was a freshman in college at 17.

14 is normal

I was a freshman in college at 17 too. That is a good time to start dating, when you are out of the house.

Absolutely NOT. That is terrible advice. Dating while at home and monitoring their beginning relationships and giving advice, helping with heartache, etc.... is incredibly important.

College kids rarely date and definitely do NOT date slowly. Tons of sex and girls brand new to dating would have a terrible time navigating, have confidence and really no emotional support.

Maybe you are taking your experience and thinking that’s everyone’s. Not a single one of my close college friends had dated in high school. Some didn’t even date in college. But not one of my friends was having tons of sex and random hookups. Those weren’t my types of friends in college.

This is laughable. None of your friends dated in high school and not one had a random hook-up in college? Um yeah....

Anonymous wrote:I had a boyfriend when I was 14. What’s the big deal? No one here dated in high school? The horror!

14 isn’t high school. This thread isn’t about forbidding dating all four years of high school, but about which year we start allowing it. Obviously parents’ opinion on this varies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 14 yo son has a girlfriend. He just turned 14 in late Sept too so I feel this is on the young side. They FT each other and meet up at cafes or coffee shops near our house. Today is the first time she’s coming over to our house.

Is this what age it usually starts?? I had crushes but didn’t start dating seriously until 17!

17?!?!? I was a freshman in college at 17.

14 is normal

I was a freshman in college at 17 too. That is a good time to start dating, when you are out of the house.

Absolutely NOT. That is terrible advice. Dating while at home and monitoring their beginning relationships and giving advice, helping with heartache, etc.... is incredibly important.

College kids rarely date and definitely do NOT date slowly. Tons of sex and girls brand new to dating would have a terrible time navigating, have confidence and really no emotional support.

Maybe you are taking your experience and thinking that’s everyone’s. Not a single one of my close college friends had dated in high school. Some didn’t even date in college. But not one of my friends was having tons of sex and random hookups. Those weren’t my types of friends in college.

You ran in an extremely unusual crowd. None of your college friends dated in HS? Was it a Mennonite college?

No, it wasn’t an unusual crowd. It was not the typical frat crowd though.

EXTREMELY UNUSUAL to have an entire group of college friends who NEVER dated in high school. And then some never even dated into their 20s? That is BIZARRE and far outside developmental norms.

Anonymous wrote:There are 2 types of parents - those who understand their kids are growing up and yes are dating at 14/15 and those who stick their heads in the sand.

Agreed. No head in sand. Two kids. DS 18 and has never dated. Wish he’d have at least one positive relationship experience before college. Second is DD 14 and just started a relationship with a boy who has been a friend for a while. Seems a bit young but she is relatively mature. She does things out in public w him every other week. Sees him every day at school. They are over heels for each other. Both really good kids and well suited to each other w common interests and goals. Nice family etc. I am dreading the potential heartbreak at this young age but don’t think there is really anything I can do to contain their feelings other than keep them from being alone in a room. Not going to completely forbid interaction but acknowledge and use opportunity to help her understand a healthy relationship. Every kid and situation is different.

I had a boyfriend when I was 14. What’s the big deal? No one here dated in high school? The horror!