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Anonymous wrote:Yikes!I would leave if someone said I had to take my shoes off at a formal party. That is incredibly rude and presumptuous. Hard no for me. And I wouldn't want to be friends with anyone that controlling about their OCD. Several of you clearly have OCD issues.

Dont go to Japan i guess.

Or South Asia.

Into Eastern Europe, Russia, Sweden, parts of Africa, Central Asia, nor East Asia.

It’s about doing what is culturally polite in the country you are in. In the US it is rude to insist people remove their shoes at a holiday party.

Who says? The US is a barely born country founded by immigrants less than 300 years ago. A quarter of the US is either first or second generation. “Don’t ask people to take off their shoes at holiday parties” is not a cultural norm. If it were, there wouldn’t be so much disagreement here.

So let me get this straight. Because this country is generous enough to offer citizenship and residency to a lot of immigrants, native-born Americans have no right to ask that their own cultural norms be respected too.

Is that your true belief? If so, congrats, you may turn me into a xenophobe!

This country is not “generous enough to offer citizenship and residency to immigrants”. That’s your mistake, right there. This country was FOUNDED by immigrants and every person whether first, second, or nth generation is as American as any other. I am a “native-born American” as are my parents and grandparents, and I don’t recognize keeping on shoes as a cultural norm here. I am saying that the us is different from countries like Iran, China,
India - countries that have existed for millennia and have developed more cultural norms than the us. I’m not saying we don’t have norms, but keeping shoes on isn’t one of them. Given amount of debate on this site and people telling you that their families have been taking off their shoes for generations,
you accept the fact that it’s not a cultural norm. Waiting your turn in a queue is a cultural norm in the US. Tipping after a restaurant meal is a cultural norm in the US.

Whether there’s a pet is a good indicator of their reasons for no shoes. People who have pets in the house don’t care about the house actually being clean, it’s just a preference they have. So I’d expect a party to have people wearing shoes. People with no indoor pets might actually keep a clean house so they might not want people wearing shoes inside for any reason, even a party.

We never wear shoes in our house. But we don’t have parties. I think it’s strange to have a party, especially one where people dress up, and expect everyone to take their shoes off. Although they do that in Europe a lot.

Maybe call the host to ask?

We ate a no shoe household. I’m a clean freak. Close family knows this and just removes shoes. A big party I would never expect people to remove shoes. That’s insane!

I grew up in farm country: no one had shoes on inside. I moved to DMV and was surprised how people would go out hiking and want to stop by and see your baby, etc., walk right in with muddy hiking boots, right where your kid is crawling. We are a no shoes household, but when we have bigger parties, we book our cleaner, roll up the expensive rugs, and just roll with it, and have the floors thoroughly cleaned at the end. For smaller parties (family, or 2 or so couples, or kids over informally) we ask for shoes to come off (most just do anyway). I'm pretty disgusted by shoes in the house, but it's just something I roll with for parties.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes!I would leave if someone said I had to take my shoes off at a formal party. That is incredibly rude and presumptuous. Hard no for me. And I wouldn't want to be friends with anyone that controlling about their OCD. Several of you clearly have OCD issues.

Dont go to Japan i guess.

Or South Asia.

Into Eastern Europe, Russia, Sweden, parts of Africa, Central Asia, nor East Asia.

It’s about doing what is culturally polite in the country you are in. In the US it is rude to insist people remove their shoes at a holiday party.

Who says? The US is a barely born country founded by immigrants less than 300 years ago. A quarter of the US is either first or second generation. “Don’t ask people to take off their shoes at holiday parties” is not a cultural norm. If it were, there wouldn’t be so much disagreement here.

So let me get this straight. Because this country is generous enough to offer citizenship and residency to a lot of immigrants, native-born Americans have no right to ask that their own cultural norms be respected too.

Is that your true belief? If so, congrats, you may turn me into a xenophobe!

Why are you assuming your background is the "cultural norm" for people native born in the US? I don't think it is. I was born here and we take off our shoes in the house. Have you seen what's on the sidewalks? Dirt, bugs, vermin, dog poop, bird poop, salt, lawn chemicals, etc.

Anonymous wrote:We never wear shoes in the house. Ever.

But, if we are having a party for a formal event and invite guests, we do not ask them to take off their shoes.

If we're having a backyard BBQ that's informal, kids may take off shoes before going inside to not track mud in.

But at Xmas we'd never ask people to take off their shoes.

Did not bother reading the whole thread, but this is us as well. We are a new shoes household. However, we have a party or any sort of get together. We never ask anybody to takeoff their shoes. That said if we were having a backyard barbecue, we would expect the children to take their shoes off before going into the house. But we would not asking adult to. It's easy enough to do a quick mop on the first floor the next day to get the floors clean again. No biggie.

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Anonymous wrote:Yikes!I would leave if someone said I had to take my shoes off at a formal party. That is incredibly rude and presumptuous. Hard no for me. And I wouldn't want to be friends with anyone that controlling about their OCD. Several of you clearly have OCD issues.

Dont go to Japan i guess.

Or South Asia.

Into Eastern Europe, Russia, Sweden, parts of Africa, Central Asia, nor East Asia.

It’s about doing what is culturally polite in the country you are in. In the US it is rude to insist people remove their shoes at a holiday party.

Who says? The US is a barely born country founded by immigrants less than 300 years ago. A quarter of the US is either first or second generation. “Don’t ask people to take off their shoes at holiday parties” is not a cultural norm. If it were, there wouldn’t be so much disagreement here.

Absolutely it is a cultural norm. The fact that the DC area has many newer immigrants coming from countries that remove shoes does not change that general US norm.

Shoes on is YOUR norm around the particular ethnic/cultural groups that you know. We live in upper NW DC and most of our neighbors have a shoes off household. There is no such thing as a "general" US norm. It all depends on where you live and whether or not you have a diverse group of friends, family, neighbors, and colleagues.
We are not "newer" immigrants, we are Chinese American, 4th generation in the US, third generation in DC, and we have a shoes off household. Shoes off is one of several cultural American norms. Do not equate American with White, European-descendant or Black. American is whomever happens to be in the US--and that can be Asian, White, Black, etc.

Most people I know take off shoes in their own home. I'm white and we are a no shoes house. We don't expect others to but appreciate it. It keeps the house much cleaner.

Anonymous wrote:Canadian here. Shoes off in houses is a universal rule - the pile of boots at the door during a party is a ubiquitous thing.

For a fancy party, people will sometimes bring shoes to change into and wear at the party. Also common to bring slippers to wear at someone else's house.

For work, in winter most people leave or bring a pair of "indoor" shoes to change into, and kids have indoor shoes they keep at school.

Even my dentist asks you to change out of boots in the winter - they provide slippers and those paper booties things.

Is it? Oh well.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Canadian here. Shoes off in houses is a universal rule - the pile of boots at the door during a party is a ubiquitous thing.

For a fancy party, people will sometimes bring shoes to change into and wear at the party. Also common to bring slippers to wear at someone else's house.

For work, in winter most people leave or bring a pair of "indoor" shoes to change into, and kids have indoor shoes they keep at school.

Even my dentist asks you to change out of boots in the winter - they provide slippers and those paper booties things.

And apparently that is what is appropriate in Canada. The fact that this is appropriate in many other countries still does not make it polite to insist on in this country.

I'm Canadian. I wear my shoes in the house and don't insist anyone take theirs off.

No you aren't. Canada is a monolith and all Canadians remove their boots. Also, all Canadians wer boots.

I remove my boots, not my shoes.

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in Canada and I can’t remember attending a single gathering at someone else’s house wearing shoes. Shoes are not welcome indoors - the bottoms of your shoes are filthy.

Only if you live in somewhere where animals run amok. I didn't know that Canada was a 3rd world country.

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Anonymous wrote:Yikes!I would leave if someone said I had to take my shoes off at a formal party. That is incredibly rude and presumptuous. Hard no for me. And I wouldn't want to be friends with anyone that controlling about their OCD. Several of you clearly have OCD issues.

Dont go to Japan i guess.

Or South Asia.

Into Eastern Europe, Russia, Sweden, parts of Africa, Central Asia, nor East Asia.

It’s about doing what is culturally polite in the country you are in. In the US it is rude to insist people remove their shoes at a holiday party.

Who says? The US is a barely born country founded by immigrants less than 300 years ago. A quarter of the US is either first or second generation. “Don’t ask people to take off their shoes at holiday parties” is not a cultural norm. If it were, there wouldn’t be so much disagreement here.

So let me get this straight. Because this country is generous enough to offer citizenship and residency to a lot of immigrants, native-born Americans have no right to ask that their own cultural norms be respected too.

Is that your true belief? If so, congrats, you may turn me into a xenophobe!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes!I would leave if someone said I had to take my shoes off at a formal party. That is incredibly rude and presumptuous. Hard no for me. And I wouldn't want to be friends with anyone that controlling about their OCD. Several of you clearly have OCD issues.

Dont go to Japan i guess.

Or South Asia.

Into Eastern Europe, Russia, Sweden, parts of Africa, Central Asia, nor East Asia.

It’s about doing what is culturally polite in the country you are in. In the US it is rude to insist people remove their shoes at a holiday party.

Who says? The US is a barely born country founded by immigrants less than 300 years ago. A quarter of the US is either first or second generation. “Don’t ask people to take off their shoes at holiday parties” is not a cultural norm. If it were, there wouldn’t be so much disagreement here.

Absolutely it is a cultural norm. The fact that the DC area has many newer immigrants coming from countries that remove shoes does not change that general US norm.

Shoes on is YOUR norm around the particular ethnic/cultural groups that you know. We live in upper NW DC and most of our neighbors have a shoes off household. There is no such thing as a "general" US norm. It all depends on where you live and whether or not you have a diverse group of friends, family, neighbors, and colleagues.
We are not "newer" immigrants, we are Chinese American, 4th generation in the US, third generation in DC, and we have a shoes off household. Shoes off is one of several cultural American norms. Do not equate American with White, European-descendant or Black. American is whomever happens to be in the US--and that can be Asian, White, Black, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes!I would leave if someone said I had to take my shoes off at a formal party. That is incredibly rude and presumptuous. Hard no for me. And I wouldn't want to be friends with anyone that controlling about their OCD. Several of you clearly have OCD issues.

Dont go to Japan i guess.

Or South Asia.

Into Eastern Europe, Russia, Sweden, parts of Africa, Central Asia, nor East Asia.

It’s about doing what is culturally polite in the country you are in. In the US it is rude to insist people remove their shoes at a holiday party.

Who says? The US is a barely born country founded by immigrants less than 300 years ago. A quarter of the US is either first or second generation. “Don’t ask people to take off their shoes at holiday parties” is not a cultural norm. If it were, there wouldn’t be so much disagreement here.

Absolutely it is a cultural norm. The fact that the DC area has many newer immigrants coming from countries that remove shoes does not change that general US norm.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes!I would leave if someone said I had to take my shoes off at a formal party. That is incredibly rude and presumptuous. Hard no for me. And I wouldn't want to be friends with anyone that controlling about their OCD. Several of you clearly have OCD issues.

Dont go to Japan i guess.

Or South Asia.

Into Eastern Europe, Russia, Sweden, parts of Africa, Central Asia, nor East Asia.

It’s about doing what is culturally polite in the country you are in. In the US it is rude to insist people remove their shoes at a holiday party.

Obviously it’s not a cultural norm since so many people are telling you the opposite here. We live in downtown Manhattan and if you didn’t step on a surface contaminated with dog poop, it was human poop, or a dead rat before walking into the apartment. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t take off their shoes before entering their homes, and most keep their shoes outside in a vestibule if you are lucky enough to have one. We live in the most expensive zip code in Manhattan and just the other day, my kids notified me that I was unknowingly standing on a flattened rat on our cobblestone street. The whole city is filthy. I have been to many holiday parties in ny for the decade I have lived there and I can only remember one in which we kept our shoes on.

Tell me you don’t work for the NYC chamber of commerce without telling me.