Anonymous wrote:Stop hosting-hosting. Put a set of sheets on top of the stripped bed, and ask them to strip the bed and start the washing before they leave. Don’t stock the fridge/pantry beyond what you normally have around. If they mention dinner, ask what they’re planning to make or order. Don’t set up coffee the night before, just make it when you get up. If they happen to get up first and seem to have waited for you to make coffee, tell them it’s a standard drip and they should feel free to make a pot.

Don’t pick up or clean more than you normally would. Don’t drop any plans. Basically just stop acting like them staying over is An Event. Ask them to clean the guest bath before they leave.

They’ll either get the hint and stop visiting so frequently, or they’ll get the hint that the pony ride is over and they are no longer being fully treated as guests. They can do the heavy lifting.

Anonymous wrote:Does this nephew ASK if he can visit, or does he TELL you he will be visiting?

If he asks and you say yes, it's on you. Say no. You don't have to give him any reason other than "I'm sorry that won't work for us, but we'd love to meet for dinner."

If he just tells you when he's arriving, your DH needs to call him back and say the same thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will you really be happier when no one comes to visit you anymore? Because once you make them feel awkward, they won't come just once or twice a year. They'll know they're not welcome and won't come at all. Is that really what you want? Lots of mean spirited shrews on this thread, but personally I'd rather mop the floor several times a year for relatives who visit me than just be me and my DH, getting older alone, like Ma and Pa Kettle. That's just me.

Np. We are not Shrews if we want our own space. How very sexist of you. And yes if they choose ti be offended that is on them. Not me. If op has kids who visit than they don't need freeloaders nephew.

Wanting your own space is not a warm and loving trait.

Being a mooch like you is even less so.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will you really be happier when no one comes to visit you anymore? Because once you make them feel awkward, they won't come just once or twice a year. They'll know they're not welcome and won't come at all. Is that really what you want? Lots of mean spirited shrews on this thread, but personally I'd rather mop the floor several times a year for relatives who visit me than just be me and my DH, getting older alone, like Ma and Pa Kettle. That's just me.

Np. We are not Shrews if we want our own space. How very sexist of you. And yes if they choose ti be offended that is on them. Not me. If op has kids who visit than they don't need freeloaders nephew.

Wanting your own space is not a warm and loving trait.

Being a mooch like you is even less so.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will you really be happier when no one comes to visit you anymore? Because once you make them feel awkward, they won't come just once or twice a year. They'll know they're not welcome and won't come at all. Is that really what you want? Lots of mean spirited shrews on this thread, but personally I'd rather mop the floor several times a year for relatives who visit me than just be me and my DH, getting older alone, like Ma and Pa Kettle. That's just me.

Np. We are not Shrews if we want our own space. How very sexist of you. And yes if they choose ti be offended that is on them. Not me. If op has kids who visit than they don't need freeloaders nephew.

Wanting your own space is not a warm and loving trait.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will you really be happier when no one comes to visit you anymore? Because once you make them feel awkward, they won't come just once or twice a year. They'll know they're not welcome and won't come at all. Is that really what you want? Lots of mean spirited shrews on this thread, but personally I'd rather mop the floor several times a year for relatives who visit me than just be me and my DH, getting older alone, like Ma and Pa Kettle. That's just me.

Np. We are not Shrews if we want our own space. How very sexist of you. And yes if they choose ti be offended that is on them. Not me. If op has kids who visit than they don't need freeloaders nephew.

Wanting your own space is not a warm and loving trait.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will you really be happier when no one comes to visit you anymore? Because once you make them feel awkward, they won't come just once or twice a year. They'll know they're not welcome and won't come at all. Is that really what you want? Lots of mean spirited shrews on this thread, but personally I'd rather mop the floor several times a year for relatives who visit me than just be me and my DH, getting older alone, like Ma and Pa Kettle. That's just me.

Np. We are not Shrews if we want our own space. How very sexist of you. And yes if they choose ti be offended that is on them. Not me. If op has kids who visit than they don't need freeloaders nephew.

Wanting your own space is not a warm and loving trait.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they coming to visit you? Or are they coming in mini-vacations? Start saying “this month isn’t good” and stretch out the time between visits. Leave clean sheets on the bed for them to make the bed. Don’t clean specially before they come. Have easy-grab food around and don’t spend a ton on food. Do they take you and your DH out to eat when they visit, or help in any way? And why in the world is anyone picking them up at the airport? Adults get a cab. Where do you live?

Not to visit us. Sometimes to shop, to visit local friends, to use our airport to fly to other places etc because our town is main city of the state.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you have to clean the bathroom after they leave? Clean the bathroom in the normal cleaning schedule. Same for the room and their sheets.

Ditto for dinner. Feed them what you feed yourself. You are creating drama because you seem to be a penny pincher. I see no problems with anyone coming to our house. You are family and I have a normal casual lifestyle.

The more people come to my house the better it is. We welcome people coming to our house and staying over. We do not go crazy trying to entertain them and host them if they are family. Mi casa is su casa.

You don't get to dictate that op live your way. I don't know anyone who would put up with this. Most of us are too busy.

This. Between work, household, social life, kids and hobbies, who has time to host same people every month for several days?

NP. I would love that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you have to clean the bathroom after they leave? Clean the bathroom in the normal cleaning schedule. Same for the room and their sheets.

Ditto for dinner. Feed them what you feed yourself. You are creating drama because you seem to be a penny pincher. I see no problems with anyone coming to our house. You are family and I have a normal casual lifestyle.

The more people come to my house the better it is. We welcome people coming to our house and staying over. We do not go crazy trying to entertain them and host them if they are family. Mi casa is su casa.

You don't get to dictate that op live your way. I don't know anyone who would put up with this. Most of us are too busy.

This. Between work, household, social life, kids and hobbies, who has time to host same people every month for several days?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're family. Be glad they are staying with you. Jeez.

I really dislike people like you. What sort of abusive household were you raised in where adults can’t speak up when they are being taken advantage of?

And I feel sorry for people like you, who don't value their own relatives. Very sad shriveled hearts on display.

Why doesn't the nephew value his uncle and aunt? My husband has a cousin who is a taker and will stay with his mom in Florida for weeks! We would never do that to her parents!