My issue isn’t conceiving, that happens within 3-4 months. The issue is carrying a healthy, living pregnancy to term. I’ve done that only once, out of 4 attempts.

Conceived at 36 on third month after going off birth control. Delivered at 37.

I had been pregnant one time prior, at 19, but terminated. I had never been off birth control since then.

Hi OP - it really doesn't matter when other people got pregnant. If you and your DH try for six months and do not get pregnant go to an RE. You're just sourcing a bunch of weird replies here that are completely pointless.

Anonymous wrote:I conceived #2 at 36. Got pregnant at first try, but it was a dud, had D&C. Then got pregnant again at first try 2 mo after (when doc said ok to try again).

Just want to say calling your D&C pregnancy a dud on a board with many people with losses and never having had a successful pregnancy is not very thoughtful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got pregnant with #2 at 36. He was an "oops" baby. We were using condoms as BC, and we didn't have one with us. I said "Oh, it's fine. Nobody gets pregnant at 36 from just one time." I got pregnant from intercourse without a condom ONE TIME at 36.

The exact same thing happened to me but at 44 with a healthy baby and older DCs.
Anecdotally, there is no drop in fertility past 35 since all of my pregnancies were on the first try/no try and after 35

If you are having sex without protection you are trying and your antecdote is what antecdotal evidence is stupid. Of course your fertility declined. Of course fertility declines. And it declines in your 30s and bottoms out in your 40s.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had multiple miscarriages before conceiving, both at 33 and 36. Even though I did ultimately have a live birth both times, the losses were hard and I wish people were more upfront about the likelihood of more emotionally difficult losses in this age range.

I'm very sorry for your losses but some of us can't be up front about that because it never happened to us. I got pregnant about two months after we started trying when I was 35 and I had the baby at 36, and the same when I was 38/39. It was easy peasy, no fertility struggles. I feel the opposite of you -- the internet tells you it will be so hard, you're so old, blah blah but I and my good friends had no trouble at all having babies at 35+ The struggles are a lie. Your miscarriages are just genetics, PP. Again, very sorry for your losses.

You just don’t know about the people that struggled. It happens and is certainly not a lie, people just keep quiet about it.

You're absolutely right -- NO ONE talks about miscarriages in their 20s. They are far more common than any woman wants to believe. THAT is the real lie - that everyone thinks it's super easy for women in their 20s, but the thing is they have miscarriages and struggle with fertility all the time and they just DON'T TALK ABOUT IT because they worry people will think there's something wrong with them, because they're in the 20s and are supposed to be in prime fertility. It's like this -- MISCARRIAGES HAPPEN ALL THE TIME TO EVERY ONE AT ALL AGES.

Not sure about the bias part. But otherwise:

-completely agree. The high rate of miscarriage really needs to be talked about a whole lot more. It should be common knowledge for everyone.

Look, it’s always devastating.

But it’s made far more devastating because people believe (falsely) it’s rare or something.

Let’s use education to take some of the power out of this common occurrence.

+1. I had a healthy pregnancy and baby at 31, miscarriage at 33, healthy pregnancy and baby at 34, and healthy pregnancy and baby at 35. My story really illustrates the statistic that 25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. And of the four times I've been pregnant, my miscarriage was at 33 (2 months after I turned 33) - not 34 and not 35.

Tried for a year in my early 30s (including temping, tracking, ovulation strips, etc) and then ended up needing fertility treatments. During the pre-treatment workup when we first went to RE, nurse gave results of semen analysis and said "could you get pregnant with these numbers? Yes. Is it likely? No." After 3 failed IUIs and 1 failed IVF, the second IVF worked. Asked about contraception at 6 week post partum checkup, was told "I mean...looking at your fertility history, do you really think you need anything?" Still used condoms just to be safe. Didn't want to be one of those people that got pregnant two months after having a baby.

Had sex ONE TIME at the age of 35 without a condom because of aforementioned naysayer doctors who didn't think we could get preggo on our own and that's how I got my second kid. Like a BOGO deal. Maybe my body just figured out what to do after all the hormonal intervention. I didn't even know I was pregnant until 10 weeks because it wasn't even on my radar that it was a possibility. Ignored all symptoms. Lack of period was meaningless because I was breastfeeding. But other symptoms like being starving all the time, hot flashes, a growing belly (that's actually why I finally tested...I was wearing a fitted shirt and was like "damn I'm getting fat...").

I do think there is still just so much that is unknown about the process and some just luck. So many stories about people like me. I have a friend who also had to do fertility treatments for both her kids. My husband told her husband about how whoops baby and he was all "ha ha." And then whoops. There was their 3rd. Unexpected and no treatment needed. Another friend who tried for years and didn't want to do IVF so they adopted. Finally got pregnant on their own.

My sister needed no help getting pregnant whatsoever but had miscarriages, a trisomy baby, and other complications including during delivery.

My sister in law needed no help either but also had miscarriages and some other issues with the pregnancy itself and complications during delivery.

Meanwhile, I couldn't get any pregnancy to happen at all but once I did get pregnant, had an easy time of it. Easy pregnancy (with the exception of PUPPS...awful) and easy deliveries and recoveries.

We all have our challenges along the way. Just know that if it doesn't happen, there are lots of next steps you can take to try to make it happen and tons of resources online where you can go for information and support.

Good luck to you!

35 and 37 not even trying

30 - 2 months
31 - 2 months
35 - 9 months with 2 chemicals and a 6 week miscarriage before successful pregnancy

TTC 33-34 (2 years) but needed IVF and got pregnant after 4th FET.

Anonymous wrote:I got pregnant on the first try at 35, but also got pregnant on the first try at 31 and 33.

These answers are depressing.

36, 8 months, nothing.

Anonymous wrote:@24 without trying
@34 1st month
@34 after miscarriage
@36 2nd month
@36 2nd month after miscarriage
@37 2nd month after miscarriage
@37 2nd month after miscarriage
Now 38 5 months of nothingness

So you have 3 children? I'm sorry for the miscarriages.

I got pregnant on the first try at 35, but also got pregnant on the first try at 31 and 33.

@24 without trying
@34 1st month
@34 after miscarriage
@36 2nd month
@36 2nd month after miscarriage
@37 2nd month after miscarriage
@37 2nd month after miscarriage
Now 38 5 months of nothingness

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had 2 kids - one at 36 and the other at 38. First kid was harder to conceive. Went off the pill and didn’t have a normal cycle for 6-7 months. Did not get pregnant during that time. Took one round of Clomid in the hopes of jump starting a normal cycle (ovulation) and got pregnant the first try. With the second child, I got pregnant naturally one month after I stopped breastfeeding my first child.

I think long term birth control really plays a part in women not being able to get pregnant when they’d like to. It makes sense that our bodies can’t just snap back to normal the day after we stop taking something that messes with our hormones.

I think this varies by person. I took hormonal birth control from age 17-36 because I get ovarian cysts (had one the size of a grapefruit removed when I was 18) and bc helps prevent them. Stopped taking bc, tracked my cycle for 2 months (knew I had long cycles and wanted to have a sense of when to try) and got pregnant the following month, which was the first month we were trying.