Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow this sounds like my own wedding from last month - took place in Europe, blocked hotel for $150/night, no kids allowed, guests had to wear autumn colors. Honestly we told our guests they were not expected to give a gift since it was a destination wedding, but a lot of people did give anyway and we did notice who did and who didn’t give. It was understandable for younger people in their 20s not to give but for older established folks, it was pretty awkward to see.

Unfortunately since it sounds like it’s not a destination wedding and the couple didn’t let you off the hook, I agree that you may as well suck it up and just do a 150$ gift.

Of course you had a destination wedding.

"It was understandable for younger people in their 20s not to give but for older established folks, it was pretty awkward to see."

Shaking my head.

I am PP that everyone is making fun of with the autumn wedding and I want to say whoa, you guys are really overreacting! To clarify, we said “no gifts are necessary” and meant it. We understood a gift to Europe was a great expense for most, especially our friends in their 20s. That is not the same as “no gifts allowed.” We honestly expected to have 0 gifts at all, but when quite a few people did give gifts - even those without much money - we were very thankful. However, it’s hard not to compare when folks saving for their own wedding chip in 50 or 100, but old retired family friends with millions don’t give. I’m not bitter or anything, I’m very glad they had fun at the wedding and that’s the most important thing! it’s just something you notice that’s all.

Either way, since it was a destination wedding we completely understood if folks didn’t want to go for whatever reason - too annoying, money, etc. Totally fine! We had a blast regardless and put on a fantastic party for our guests. We did our best to give them a once in a lifetime experience that was worth the troubles (I won’t go into details to out myself, but the guests who did come got to have some very unique experiences).

Anyway, sorry to OP that people decided to pounce on my comment and derail your thread but if you don’t want to go, you can decline and send a gift (like 100-200$) as others suggested and I’m sure the couple will be thankful.

Girl, you detailed the thread with your ridiculous entitled post.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow this sounds like my own wedding from last month - took place in Europe, blocked hotel for $150/night, no kids allowed, guests had to wear autumn colors. Honestly we told our guests they were not expected to give a gift since it was a destination wedding, but a lot of people did give anyway and we did notice who did and who didn’t give. It was understandable for younger people in their 20s not to give but for older established folks, it was pretty awkward to see.

Unfortunately since it sounds like it’s not a destination wedding and the couple didn’t let you off the hook, I agree that you may as well suck it up and just do a 150$ gift.

You’re openly admitting that you told guests what colors to wear??? And you made them travel to Europe? What the actual hell? This has to be a joke.

Anonymous wrote:My cousin’s kid had a wedding like this and I didn’t give a gift: I really couldn’t afford it and didn’t want to go but my mother and aunt were very upset that I wasn’t going to go. The redeeming value: I wasn’t invited to any of the weddings of my cousin’s other two kids. So there is a bright side…

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow this sounds like my own wedding from last month - took place in Europe, blocked hotel for $150/night, no kids allowed, guests had to wear autumn colors. Honestly we told our guests they were not expected to give a gift since it was a destination wedding, but a lot of people did give anyway and we did notice who did and who didn’t give. It was understandable for younger people in their 20s not to give but for older established folks, it was pretty awkward to see.

Unfortunately since it sounds like it’s not a destination wedding and the couple didn’t let you off the hook, I agree that you may as well suck it up and just do a 150$ gift.

This is fake, right?

PP here, not fake. We actually asked for fall colors and specified red, orange, black or grey. A couple people wore navy blue and red but it was fine - all the guests looked great, our photographer complimented everyone on how well they matched. We had about 60% turnout compared to the amount of invites we sent which is pretty good for a destination wedding.

We’re so embarrassed for you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow this sounds like my own wedding from last month - took place in Europe, blocked hotel for $150/night, no kids allowed, guests had to wear autumn colors. Honestly we told our guests they were not expected to give a gift since it was a destination wedding, but a lot of people did give anyway and we did notice who did and who didn’t give. It was understandable for younger people in their 20s not to give but for older established folks, it was pretty awkward to see.

Unfortunately since it sounds like it’s not a destination wedding and the couple didn’t let you off the hook, I agree that you may as well suck it up and just do a 150$ gift.

Of course you had a destination wedding.

"It was understandable for younger people in their 20s not to give but for older established folks, it was pretty awkward to see."

Shaking my head.

I am PP that everyone is making fun of with the autumn wedding and I want to say whoa, you guys are really overreacting! To clarify, we said “no gifts are necessary” and meant it. We understood a gift to Europe was a great expense for most, especially our friends in their 20s. That is not the same as “no gifts allowed.” We honestly expected to have 0 gifts at all, but when quite a few people did give gifts - even those without much money - we were very thankful. However, it’s hard not to compare when folks saving for their own wedding chip in 50 or 100, but old retired family friends with millions don’t give. I’m not bitter or anything, I’m very glad they had fun at the wedding and that’s the most important thing! it’s just something you notice that’s all.

Either way, since it was a destination wedding we completely understood if folks didn’t want to go for whatever reason - too annoying, money, etc. Totally fine! We had a blast regardless and put on a fantastic party for our guests. We did our best to give them a once in a lifetime experience that was worth the troubles (I won’t go into details to out myself, but the guests who did come got to have some very unique experiences).

Anyway, sorry to OP that people decided to pounce on my comment and derail your thread but if you don’t want to go, you can decline and send a gift (like 100-200$) as others suggested and I’m sure the couple will be thankful.

Girl, you detailed the thread with your ridiculous entitled post.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow this sounds like my own wedding from last month - took place in Europe, blocked hotel for $150/night, no kids allowed, guests had to wear autumn colors. Honestly we told our guests they were not expected to give a gift since it was a destination wedding, but a lot of people did give anyway and we did notice who did and who didn’t give. It was understandable for younger people in their 20s not to give but for older established folks, it was pretty awkward to see.

Unfortunately since it sounds like it’s not a destination wedding and the couple didn’t let you off the hook, I agree that you may as well suck it up and just do a 150$ gift.

If they are not expected to give a gift, you should not notice who doesn’t give gifts.

Frankly, you seem to have thrown the wedding you want and people went along with it, so you should be happy.

NP- I noticed who didn't give gifts because I wrote thank you notes. Do people not do this anymore? My wedding was in DC but family travelled in to attend, I don't care if they didn't give one, I'm just glad they came. But yeah I knew because I didn't want to miss thanking people.

+1. I noticed who didn't give gifts or what each person gave as a gift because we sent thank you notes promptly (within 4-6 weeks of our wedding) to every person who gave a gift specifically thanking them for the actual gift they gave). To do this I had to keep a detailed list as we opened our gifts but it was important to me to make sure to thank everyone w/ a personal note mentioning their gift (not just a generic "thank you for your gift").

It has been 10 years since my wedding and while I still remember who was at our wedding, I no longer remember who gave us what gifts or who didn't give a gift as that really wasn't important to me.

Everyone should have received a thank you note for spending any excessive amount of money to watch you get married.

Anonymous wrote:I had a destination wedding. We were in a beautiful all-expense paid resort for 7 days in another country. We paid for accommodations and all meals for all our guests for the 7 days. We also paid for the flights for some close family and friends. We had many planned events, tours, games, photo shoots, shopping, spa days, prewedding celebrations, post wedding celebrations etc.. We had a total of 108 guests. My father paid for everything. Most of our guests came early/stayed on for a few extra days. I loved it because I got to really spend time with everyone and the pace was very unhurried. It was almost like a family reunion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow this sounds like my own wedding from last month - took place in Europe, blocked hotel for $150/night, no kids allowed, guests had to wear autumn colors. Honestly we told our guests they were not expected to give a gift since it was a destination wedding, but a lot of people did give anyway and we did notice who did and who didn’t give. It was understandable for younger people in their 20s not to give but for older established folks, it was pretty awkward to see.

Unfortunately since it sounds like it’s not a destination wedding and the couple didn’t let you off the hook, I agree that you may as well suck it up and just do a 150$ gift.

Of course you had a destination wedding.

"It was understandable for younger people in their 20s not to give but for older established folks, it was pretty awkward to see."

Shaking my head.

I am PP that everyone is making fun of with the autumn wedding and I want to say whoa, you guys are really overreacting! To clarify, we said “no gifts are necessary” and meant it. We understood a gift to Europe was a great expense for most, especially our friends in their 20s. That is not the same as “no gifts allowed.” We honestly expected to have 0 gifts at all, but when quite a few people did give gifts - even those without much money - we were very thankful. However, it’s hard not to compare when folks saving for their own wedding chip in 50 or 100, but old retired family friends with millions don’t give. I’m not bitter or anything, I’m very glad they had fun at the wedding and that’s the most important thing! it’s just something you notice that’s all.

Either way, since it was a destination wedding we completely understood if folks didn’t want to go for whatever reason - too annoying, money, etc. Totally fine! We had a blast regardless and put on a fantastic party for our guests. We did our best to give them a once in a lifetime experience that was worth the troubles (I won’t go into details to out myself, but the guests who did come got to have some very unique experiences).

Anyway, sorry to OP that people decided to pounce on my comment and derail your thread but if you don’t want to go, you can decline and send a gift (like 100-200$) as others suggested and I’m sure the couple will be thankful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow this sounds like my own wedding from last month - took place in Europe, blocked hotel for $150/night, no kids allowed, guests had to wear autumn colors. Honestly we told our guests they were not expected to give a gift since it was a destination wedding, but a lot of people did give anyway and we did notice who did and who didn’t give. It was understandable for younger people in their 20s not to give but for older established folks, it was pretty awkward to see.

Unfortunately since it sounds like it’s not a destination wedding and the couple didn’t let you off the hook, I agree that you may as well suck it up and just do a 150$ gift.

This is fake, right?

PP here, not fake. We actually asked for fall colors and specified red, orange, black or grey. A couple people wore navy blue and red but it was fine - all the guests looked great, our photographer complimented everyone on how well they matched. We had about 60% turnout compared to the amount of invites we sent which is pretty good for a destination wedding.

You told your guests that you weren’t expecting gifts and then looked down on the people who did not give them? People who spent thousands to attend?

Anonymous wrote:Honestly this is what covid is for. No way would I spend this much money on a wedding. Diestination wedding people are obnoxious. I would pretend I have covid and stay home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow this sounds like my own wedding from last month - took place in Europe, blocked hotel for $150/night, no kids allowed, guests had to wear autumn colors. Honestly we told our guests they were not expected to give a gift since it was a destination wedding, but a lot of people did give anyway and we did notice who did and who didn’t give. It was understandable for younger people in their 20s not to give but for older established folks, it was pretty awkward to see.

Unfortunately since it sounds like it’s not a destination wedding and the couple didn’t let you off the hook, I agree that you may as well suck it up and just do a 150$ gift.

This is fake, right?

PP here, not fake. We actually asked for fall colors and specified red, orange, black or grey. A couple people wore navy blue and red but it was fine - all the guests looked great, our photographer complimented everyone on how well they matched. We had about 60% turnout compared to the amount of invites we sent which is pretty good for a destination wedding.