Anonymous wrote:what about when someone says they're gifting something with very little details which has a massive demand- and you're looking for something very specific and have a million questions, so you just post your specific ask on Buy Nothing. I just got an admin telling me how I can search for things... I know how to use FB.. i want ppl to offer me what i specifically asked for... I included every important detail ie)allergies, location, etc. I find many responses on BN patronizing and passive aggressive. Definitely blocked a lot ppl on there. One guy was so rude to me I called him out in public. I just can't. Helping, needing help.... should NOT be so complicated.

The trainwreck of power-trippers is the best part of these groups. Free stuff is fun and all, but have you ever watched grown women embarrass themselves over who took more than their share of the freebies? What about grown men showcasing their personalities disorders while deluding themselves about their value to the community because they volunteer sometimes?

Peoples weird stuff is fun. Peoples weird selves are hilarious. Some people post things about themselves in those groups you couldn't waterboard out of me.

I love my Buy Nothing group. I have cleaned out a few people's houses after they passed away (friends and family) and so much food and housewares would have been wasted without BN.

Use Trashnothing.com instead. This doesn't happen on that site. And, there is a box that allows you to choose or not choose the Fair Offer Policy.

I don't personally understand the fair use policy. It seems more fair to me to choose the first person to respond then to wait and see which stranger I like best through a message. But, it is an option that you do not have to use on trashnothing.

I don't use Buy Nothing because it seems weird. If you want to get rid of stuff without all that, use Freecycle.

what about when someone says they're gifting something with very little details which has a massive demand- and you're looking for something very specific and have a million questions, so you just post your specific ask on Buy Nothing. I just got an admin telling me how I can search for things... I know how to use FB.. i want ppl to offer me what i specifically asked for... I included every important detail ie)allergies, location, etc. I find many responses on BN patronizing and passive aggressive. Definitely blocked a lot ppl on there. One guy was so rude to me I called him out in public. I just can't. Helping, needing help.... should NOT be so complicated.

I've been in 3 different BN groups. My first was 100% like that. I had lots of eye rolls lol. My second was the polar opposite. It was a complete free for all where every single thing (just about) went to the first person who said "I want it". Some people didn't even comment they were interested, just immediately messaged the person. It was like the wild west. A lot of alcohol and adult items in that one as well.

My current one is similar to the original, but the admins are thankfully not power crazy. They encourage simmering, but they don't comment on individual posts to that effect.

I love my local BN group. We have a preference towards simmering, but people can and do “speed gift” or give with a preference for first pickup all the time. I give and get all the time on the group and usually go with a RNG after 24 hours. I’m not tethered to my phone all the time and don’t want to be unfair to people who work jobs where they can’t be on FB all day. Our admins have been sticklers on items like booze (FB rules) and curb alerts where members aren’t actively watching/updating the post (more to avoid members from getting frustrated than anything). .

The one thing that I really like about BN is that it is not altruistic. Most of us are pretty well off here, this isn’t a charity group. People who are taking to give away to someone else or to a charity are asked to say that. You can choose the terms of your giveaway- RNG, first come first served, or best story. When I give away ridiculous items I love to hear what people plan to do with them. It really helps me feel connected with the neighborhood and yes, I pick based on best story in those cases. BN has helped me to reduce the amount of stuff I buy and divert some still-useful items from the trash. It only works because our admins spend a lot of time keeping things orderly and I appreciate what they do.

Anonymous wrote:The world is full of people who are itching for the opportunity to tell people what to do. Seriously, you find these people EVERYWHERE. And they will seize power when given the opportunity, even if it is not at all earned and the people they wield it over don't like it. The admin of the buy-nothing group, the guy in your office who organizes the softball team, the president of your HOA, etc.

It's the Dwight Schrute rule. If there is power to be had, some self-important jackass will seize it and try to make your life miserable.

This is why I don't join "communities" anymore. It's like catnip to these people. Also won't joint the PTO. My family and friends are my community, I'm friendly with my neighbors, and I donate money and volunteer when I have the money and time to spare and I'm passionate about a cause. But I am not a joiner because I grew tired of people like this and just wanted to be free.

(I get rid of stuff by curbing it, taking it to the dump, or posting it on Nextdoor.)

Yep

I wish they would make the zones bigger. There isn’t one North Arlington group, but several. Our zone is so small that it’s the same bunch of wealthy women passing one used mug or dress back and forth. So instead of being able to give a away a bunch of baby blankets to someone who needs them, your get “oh, I’d love the purple one because it matches the decor in the nursery”. At this point honestly I use BN to make me feel less guilty for,just throwing stuff out because I tried to find someone to use it.

Anonymous wrote:OP here with another update from Crazytown Crofton. Apparently now you cannot delete postings after the hand-off has occurred. “Because we want an archive and a record and a snapshot of the kind of community and generosity of this group.”

So let’s say you post a juicer, and someone picks it up. You’re not supposed to delete that post, you’re supposed to go back and find it (which can take a lot of scrolling if it was several days old) and mark it as “Picked Up” or “Given” or whatever. Which of course leads to confusion as people still continue to say “Me please” or “Interested” because they see the item and the instinct isn’t to read closely, it’s to express interested right away.

It’s not that hard, search for yourself in the group.
Clearly the concept is not for you and that’s okay, but don’t call it crazy.

OP here with another update from Crazytown Crofton. Apparently now you cannot delete postings after the hand-off has occurred. “Because we want an archive and a record and a snapshot of the kind of community and generosity of this group.”

So let’s say you post a juicer, and someone picks it up. You’re not supposed to delete that post, you’re supposed to go back and find it (which can take a lot of scrolling if it was several days old) and mark it as “Picked Up” or “Given” or whatever. Which of course leads to confusion as people still continue to say “Me please” or “Interested” because they see the item and the instinct isn’t to read closely, it’s to express interested right away.

Anonymous wrote:My Buy Nothing is exactly like this, OP. It’s supremely annoying.

It's as if you joined a group without realizing what it is. There are plenty of FCFS places to give away your stuff but Buy Nothing is different and the rules are basically the same for each one.

That said, our rules are pretty simple. Want it gone in four hours or less-flash and pick one of the first responders. Four hours or more-simmer and chose whomever for whatever reason.

Anonymous wrote:The admin of mine is a total power hungry B. So so so much drama. I quit and someone started a spin off group without any of the crazy rules. Now I give away all my stuff through that group.

I wonder if you love in my neighborhood?
The same thing happened here. Before there was a spin off, the power hungry moderator was out of control. I’m as waiting for my kids and saw that someone had put gorgeous antique chairs and twin beds on the curb in a kind of random location, not in front of a house. They had a sign please take. I snapped a photo and put it on but nothing. The moderator wrote a nasty message back and removed the post. Fine, it could have been against the rules, I don’t know. My issue was while I was still waiting for my kids, the moderator came screeching into the parking lot in her station wagon and popped open the trunk and put all of the items in and drove off. I wonder how many times she has done that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only time I ever got scolded was when I posted an item, someone PMd me to say he wanted it as a surprise for his wife who was also in the group. I agreed, and added to the post that it had been gifted. I was immediately told by admin that I couldn't gift via pm. I explained the situation and it was fine, but there are those awkward moments.

The those rules due generally serve to keep out the chaos though I guess.

That's nuts.

The main point is to discourage people from PMing the poster was offering something without being invited to do so. generally people post if they are interested, and the original poster says to one, “ great message me for details.”

Anonymous wrote:"Car seats for littles" admins are also crazy. Every other post gets closed for admin only, or they yell at you for replying with the reply button.. It's a FB group, gmafb.

Yes, thank you! And the safe sleep ones are wild too.