Anonymous wrote:I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I have two kids under 4 and WOH. But DH is very involved and we have a great nanny with a weekly Housecleaner.

Nanny handles groceries and food prep for the kids lunches and snacks and does all the kids laundry. All I have to do is my own laundry (DH does his) and making dinners for the week. Which doesn’t seem like it should take all day but it does!! Grocery store and Farmers Market with the kids and then I start the weekday dinners while DH takes the kids out. Right now I am staring at all my ingredients on my counter and recipes and just wishing I could order a huge pizza and turn on Netflix. It’s my turn to strip our bed and do linens too.

What is wrong with me? Why can’t I just do it? Having four dinners made during the week is essential to having calm happy weeknights for us and dinners as a family so I have to do it.

Double batches- so you only make two dinners each weekend. Plus, find some quick meals that don’t need to be made ahead. One pot crock pot dinner once a week is easy. Soup, toast and salad is another good one when we are not in August. Grilling fish and zucchini/ summer squash is one of our favorites.

Lol at all these posters suggesting cheese, crackers and crudites for dinner. My husband would think I had a stroke if thats what I set down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meal kits are the way to go here

This.

ReAlly though? Maybe I’m dumb but I tried Blue Apron, Marley Spoon, and HelloFresh. The meals were yummy but it was a lot of work to prepare them! And I couldn’t multi task or go on auto pilot like I do when I make things from memory because I had to be constantly reading each step.

Anonymous wrote:Meal kits are the way to go here

This.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the people saying single moms have it easy must have useless husbands. Or their own standards are so low that they would feed their kids hot dogs every night of their husband wasn’t around to notice.

I’m the PP with the deployed spouse. I didn’t say it was easy being a single mom. I said it was easier in many ways though. DH is absolutely an equal partner but it’s not needing to tend to another relationship that frees up a lot of time. And we always eat good food but I’m far less picky than he is. Lots of nights when he was deployed, the kids and I would have avocado and scrambled eggs or something premade from Trader Joe’s.

But yes, my cleaning standards are and we’re lax! DH is the cleaner - not me.

Single moms date you know. They too are cultivating relationships.

I don't date. I don't have the money for a babysitter. Stop assuming things about groups of people. Most single parents do not have the money for outsourcing anything. In fact, my PT gigs are babysitting, pet sitting/dog walking, etc.

I'm married and we don't outsource anything and never hire babysitters for date nights, because it's too expensive. A lot of these comments seem to assume either that marriage solves all your problems as a parent (it doesn't), or conversely that single parenthood would solve all your problems in life (it wouldn't).

I think some single moms have it easier than some married women. It depends on the marriage, your job and income, and other resources you might have (family and/or family money, for instance). I don't think someone automatically has it tough because they are a single mom. For instance, I know four women in their 40s who are single moms by choice, and they all have a ton of family support (like way, way more than I have ever had) and are incredibly financially stable. I'm sure there area times when they wish they had a partner, but in terms of parenting, all four of those women get more time to themselves, have more accessible childcare, and

That's really different than a single mom who divorced or left their kid's dad, especially if that dad is not contributing as he is supposed to (unfortunately common). I think that's what a lot of people picture when they hear "single mom" but that's not every single mom. Some, not all. And plenty of married people have incredible burdens that could absolutely make their lives as hard as even a struggling single mom's life. People whose spouses are abusive or have major mental health issues, for instance. It's not a contest between who has it hardest, and it's good to have empathy for anyone who is struggling.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread feels like a SNL skit. I’m a single mother and do all of that by myself. And I also find time to just unwind with a glass of wine and a movie.

It’s easier being a single mother, PP. Honestly. Your idea of cleaning standards and nutritional standards are your own. You have no other equal adult to compromise with. I could eat and serve scrambled eggs for dinner but DH needs a full balanced, vegetarian meal. I could live with crumbs on the floor but DH has to vacuum daily. There are a million things that I would let slide without DH.

+1. This really is true. Without the commitment of marriage and another relationship to tend to, I would have a lot more time!

+2. Thank you! I am so sick of the single mother whine. Being married and in a healthy relationship takes work, planning, and commitment. I could eat cold cereal for dinner and be happy with the quiet after the kids are in bed.

Are you all really trying to say a married life with fully contributing spouse is easier than a single parent.

Every single time you leave the house without kids ask yourself these questions:

If I was single, could I even be making this trip out the door (gym, meet with friends, shopping, spa, run, walk, etc).

Even if you can make it past that first question with a yes (grocery shopping, quick trip for a missed ingredient, forgotten school assignment purchase ask yourself this -

Would it be easier to do this trip with or without kids.

In some very specific ways, being a single parent is easier, but in a tremendous amount of others, it is not.

Op, batch cook your meals and lower your cleaning standards.

+1. My husband deployed for a year when my kids were 2 & 4. I did not find it hard, but, I also do not think it is anything like being a single mother.

I am a widow with kids those ages, hard to imagine how this could be easy for anyone. I work full time and have no help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread feels like a SNL skit. I’m a single mother and do all of that by myself. And I also find time to just unwind with a glass of wine and a movie.

It’s easier being a single mother, PP. Honestly. Your idea of cleaning standards and nutritional standards are your own. You have no other equal adult to compromise with. I could eat and serve scrambled eggs for dinner but DH needs a full balanced, vegetarian meal. I could live with crumbs on the floor but DH has to vacuum daily. There are a million things that I would let slide without DH.

+1. This really is true. Without the commitment of marriage and another relationship to tend to, I would have a lot more time!

+2 I hate to say it because I know single moms have it tough but when my husband is traveling it feels like I can actually relax and do things the way I want for a change and it is SO freeing and SO relaxing I'm very much thinking I'll divorce him if it could be like that all the time.

Single mom- one reason I’m a single mom is that the
Last person I dated really wanted “to have a baby with me”. But
I basically came to the conclusion that if I had a child with him not only would I have the work of taking care of my child - I would have to take care of the “man child” and also deal with his aged mother. No thanks! One Child is enough (not to mention my own two ailing parents.)

That being said being on 24-7 is relentless and tough.

Anonymous wrote:Talk to your nanny about doing meal prep (doesn't have the be cooking the food) for the whole family instead of just the kids. By the time my kids were 1 y.o., we did not have separate meals for kids and adults.

No. That's not your nanny's job. You can offer her more money to do this but don't expect her to do it especially if she is taking care of young kids who need 100% of her attention.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the people saying single moms have it easy must have useless husbands. Or their own standards are so low that they would feed their kids hot dogs every night of their husband wasn’t around to notice.

I’m the PP with the deployed spouse. I didn’t say it was easy being a single mom. I said it was easier in many ways though. DH is absolutely an equal partner but it’s not needing to tend to another relationship that frees up a lot of time. And we always eat good food but I’m far less picky than he is. Lots of nights when he was deployed, the kids and I would have avocado and scrambled eggs or something premade from Trader Joe’s.

But yes, my cleaning standards are and we’re lax! DH is the cleaner - not me.

Single moms date you know. They too are cultivating relationships.

I don't date. I don't have the money for a babysitter. Stop assuming things about groups of people. Most single parents do not have the money for outsourcing anything. In fact, my PT gigs are babysitting, pet sitting/dog walking, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread feels like a SNL skit. I’m a single mother and do all of that by myself. And I also find time to just unwind with a glass of wine and a movie.

It’s easier being a single mother, PP. Honestly. Your idea of cleaning standards and nutritional standards are your own. You have no other equal adult to compromise with. I could eat and serve scrambled eggs for dinner but DH needs a full balanced, vegetarian meal. I could live with crumbs on the floor but DH has to vacuum daily. There are a million things that I would let slide without DH.

+1. This really is true. Without the commitment of marriage and another relationship to tend to, I would have a lot more time!

+2. Thank you! I am so sick of the single mother whine. Being married and in a healthy relationship takes work, planning, and commitment. I could eat cold cereal for dinner and be happy with the quiet after the kids are in bed.

Lol. Yeah but then you'd complain about not having enough money to live! You won't have money to buy anything cold cereal anyway.

Make 2 dinners a week which have leftovers. The rest of the week can be takeout plus a frozen lasagne or something that just needs to be heated up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread feels like a SNL skit. I’m a single mother and do all of that by myself. And I also find time to just unwind with a glass of wine and a movie.

It’s easier being a single mother, PP. Honestly. Your idea of cleaning standards and nutritional standards are your own. You have no other equal adult to compromise with. I could eat and serve scrambled eggs for dinner but DH needs a full balanced, vegetarian meal. I could live with crumbs on the floor but DH has to vacuum daily. There are a million things that I would let slide without DH.

+1. This really is true. Without the commitment of marriage and another relationship to tend to, I would have a lot more time!

+2. Thank you! I am so sick of the single mother whine. Being married and in a healthy relationship takes work, planning, and commitment. I could eat cold cereal for dinner and be happy with the quiet after the kids are in bed.

Are you all really trying to say a married life with fully contributing spouse is easier than a single parent.

Every single time you leave the house without kids ask yourself these questions:

If I was single, could I even be making this trip out the door (gym, meet with friends, shopping, spa, run, walk, etc).

Even if you can make it past that first question with a yes (grocery shopping, quick trip for a missed ingredient, forgotten school assignment purchase ask yourself this -

Would it be easier to do this trip with or without kids.

In some very specific ways, being a single parent is easier, but in a tremendous amount of others, it is not.

Op, batch cook your meals and lower your cleaning standards.

+1. My husband deployed for a year when my kids were 2 & 4. I did not find it hard, but, I also do not think it is anything like being a single mother.

DH here who does all the cooking and shopping for 2 adults and 2 kids with no nanny or help. Just cook a meal every night for dinner night during the week and order pizza or Chinese on Friday nights. I usually go shopping once a week on the way home from work and get enough food for 4 dinners (Monday - Thursday). I make large quantities (double batch usually) so we eat the leftovers for lunch during the week.

Food taste so much better when it is cooked and served as well, no need to spend your whole Sunday cooking food just to reheat it during the week.

Talk to your nanny about doing meal prep (doesn't have the be cooking the food) for the whole family instead of just the kids. By the time my kids were 1 y.o., we did not have separate meals for kids and adults.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread feels like a SNL skit. I’m a single mother and do all of that by myself. And I also find time to just unwind with a glass of wine and a movie.

It’s easier being a single mother, PP. Honestly. Your idea of cleaning standards and nutritional standards are your own. You have no other equal adult to compromise with. I could eat and serve scrambled eggs for dinner but DH needs a full balanced, vegetarian meal. I could live with crumbs on the floor but DH has to vacuum daily. There are a million things that I would let slide without DH.

+1. This really is true. Without the commitment of marriage and another relationship to tend to, I would have a lot more time!

+2 I hate to say it because I know single moms have it tough but when my husband is traveling it feels like I can actually relax and do things the way I want for a change and it is SO freeing and SO relaxing I'm very much thinking I'll divorce him if it could be like that all the time.