Anonymous wrote:I think it was presumptuous to phrase it that way, if you did. To assume she wanted them and to declare you were going to give them to her on your way out since you’d brought them along , without asking. I personally do not like clutter and I’d be annoyed if someone showed up with a box of ANYTHING for me without asking me if I actually wanted it first. That being said , if she responded rudely then she was rude, she should have thanked you and let the box sit in the garage until she made a trip to goodwill.

+1. I’m not sure if I would have been offended, maybe more so just annoyed. My child’s items are like everything else in my home - fewer nicer things. I enjoy shopping for them and would not want a bunch of other random things I didn’t ask for crowding up their closet. I think it was presumptuous to bring them if she didn’t ask. You also could have mentioned that you were boxing something things up to clear out and wanted to check if she might want them before donating, which would have been less presumptuous while still giving you the opportunity to offer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wtf is with all these responses? Every single person I know loves getting hand me downs! My kids get holes or ruin so much clothing. I love when it’s free!! We still always have to buy something, but to fill in it’s awesome.

I can’t believe there are so many snobs here. I guess I can hit get over yourself. Your kid still looks like everyone else.

My kids don’t destroy their clothing. Maybe you should teach yours to be more careful.

I’m a DP but I don’t want my toddler to be careful. I want her to play outside and get filthy and rip the knees of her pants, wake up the next morning and do it again. I send her to daycare in her cousins nice hand me downs because it makes me smile to see her in the dress I bought her cousin eight years ago or the jumpsuit my mother bought my niece for the beach a few summers back. Her cousins love to see pictures of her in “their clothes”. And when they get covered in paint and stained beyond repair and sent to recycling I know she wasn’t contributing to the environmental catastrophe of fast fashion.

I also love shopping for her, but having the play clothes taken care of just means more room in the clothes budget.

Anonymous wrote:Wtf is with all these responses? Every single person I know loves getting hand me downs! My kids get holes or ruin so much clothing. I love when it’s free!! We still always have to buy something, but to fill in it’s awesome.

I can’t believe there are so many snobs here. I guess I can hit get over yourself. Your kid still looks like everyone else.

Yes. I am whatever level of snob doesn’t want to sift through someone else’s used crap. We’re talking about clothes than have been through two different 4 year olds.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh oops, OP is long gone because no one thinks she did the right thing by not asking and simply trying to shove stuff off on SIL.

SIL could have just said "no thanks."

She did. Op is upset she did not take the stuff.

Anonymous wrote:Oh oops, OP is long gone because no one thinks she did the right thing by not asking and simply trying to shove stuff off on SIL.

SIL could have just said "no thanks."

Anonymous wrote:Wtf is with all these responses? Every single person I know loves getting hand me downs! My kids get holes or ruin so much clothing. I love when it’s free!! We still always have to buy something, but to fill in it’s awesome.

I can’t believe there are so many snobs here. I guess I can hit get over yourself. Your kid still looks like everyone else.

Birds of a (used) feather…

Anonymous wrote:Wtf is with all these responses? Every single person I know loves getting hand me downs! My kids get holes or ruin so much clothing. I love when it’s free!! We still always have to buy something, but to fill in it’s awesome.

I can’t believe there are so many snobs here. I guess I can hit get over yourself. Your kid still looks like everyone else.

My kids don’t destroy their clothing. Maybe you should teach yours to be more careful.

Anonymous wrote:Wtf is with all these responses? Every single person I know loves getting hand me downs! My kids get holes or ruin so much clothing. I love when it’s free!! We still always have to buy something, but to fill in it’s awesome.

I can’t believe there are so many snobs here. I guess I can hit get over yourself. Your kid still looks like everyone else.

These are people who have never been offered hand-me-downs.

Wtf is with all these responses? Every single person I know loves getting hand me downs! My kids get holes or ruin so much clothing. I love when it’s free!! We still always have to buy something, but to fill in it’s awesome.

I can’t believe there are so many snobs here. I guess I can hit get over yourself. Your kid still looks like everyone else.

Old white money loooves hand-me-downs. NOT new money that sees fault in used clothes.

I'm culturally vanilla, but dated a guy in a wealthy Latinx family for many years and their family would not be caught dead wearing second hand clothes. Same for my friends who are middle eastern.

Meanwhile, the English royals are wearing their dad's clothes!

Let it go. Maybe she does not like your taste or style. I could not care less about high end and most handy down we got was not in a condition I would dress my kid in.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did your niece get to age 4 before you realized her mom isn't into hand me downs? Have you never offered anything ever before? Or do you do it often and she's finally saying "enough!"

I had previously not done it because we have two girls and weren’t sure if our third would be a girl. He is a boy so now we don’t need to keep anything.

So your stuff has been worn by two kids? Those clothes are probably rags now. If you're going to hand down they need to be in pristine condition.

Anonymous wrote:How did your niece get to age 4 before you realized her mom isn't into hand me downs? Have you never offered anything ever before? Or do you do it often and she's finally saying "enough!"

I had previously not done it because we have two girls and weren’t sure if our third would be a girl. He is a boy so now we don’t need to keep anything.

How did your niece get to age 4 before you realized her mom isn't into hand me downs? Have you never offered anything ever before? Or do you do it often and she's finally saying "enough!"

DCUM has become a gathering place for insufferable, assuming harpies. This thread is a perfect example.