Anonymous wrote:If they’re not lecturing you on how to parent, why do they need to get it?

This. Why do you care? I have a child and yes, I think it’s excruciatingly hard work, but most of my friends don’t have kids, and I don’t expect them to care or get it. Having kids is a lifestyle choice to me, like a hobby. I don’t “get” the stuff my friend who flies planes does, either. So what?

Anonymous wrote:They think they do but unless you’ve had kids, not babysat or nannies, you will never know how much work it is on a daily basis.

Why should they? They do, however get tired of hearing about all your problems. You chose to have children and, apparently, had no idea if what parenting involved.

Oh, we get it. We get it all the time, in different rooms, whenever we want, because no kid is going to barge in on us.

Anonymous wrote:I didn't fully get it until I had kids. I thought I was sooo busy. Parenting is no joke. And I don't expect non parents to understand the extent of it.

Yes, it's frustrating to hear my relative without kids talk about how she doesn't know how she'll even have time to pack for this trip or whatever, when I'm sitting here packing for multiple people, including tiny people who need all kinds of extra "stuff" to function away from home. But life isn't a competition, and I did make this life choice. So I smile and nod when she complains, and then I'll go make a bunch of pb&js that someone will whine about.

But how do you know she has any more time around packing than you do? Packing for more than one person is definitely odious, but what's in her life making it hard to find time to pack can still be valid. I'm child-free but have elderly parents living with me, a job with strict and many deadlines, a long commute, and a husband who travels for work a lot so home stuff comes to me. I'm not complaining - I enjoy my life - but finding time to pack in all that could be just as difficult as trying to find time to pack for additional people. A friend of mine stays home with three kids in elementary and junior high. You think her days are busier than mine, when her house is quiet and her time her own from 7-3?

I just will never understand this idea that all child-free people have nothing but time and money to burn.

Ok

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL has 3 kids and he never got it either. All that ever mattered to him was he, he, he. One year, I was traveling with 2 small kids to Africa where we lived. Flight was at midnight. He took a week off to pack for his cruise and told me that he can't help me as he was packing for his cruise, that he was not leaving for for 4 days still.
He always made it to pick up his son from the airport.
I will never forgive it, never. I was in the States bcs my DD was sick and this was us packing to go back. I took a shuttle in the middle of the night to airport.
Did he have to help me? No, not at all. I will still never forgive this.

This just reflects negatively on you, OP, not him. You are petty and entitled.

Agree. Why do you feel entitled to have your elderly father or n law drive you to the airport when you chose to book a flight at midnight? And why were you flying with a sick kid??

Anonymous wrote:From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate.

- Socrates

Yup they hate their lives as parents and wish they hadn't done it

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They think they do but unless you’ve had kids, not babysat or nannies, you will never know how much work it is on a daily basis.

Childfree people know how much work it is and that's precisely why some of them chose not to have kids. It seems like a lot of people with children have given it much less thought before having kids and are shocked at how much work it entails.

Yes!!! I’m child free and constantly amazed at parents who act like it was a shock that parenting is hard. Don’t blame me because you didn’t know what you were getting into by having kids.

NP. What? Who is blaming you or childless people for parenting being hard? Not me. We judge you for being a jugdy Judy all the danged time! And you are, look at your post right here. yes, the one I am answering to.

Lol. No. The most judgemental people are other parents

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They think they do but unless you’ve had kids, not babysat or nannies, you will never know how much work it is on a daily basis.

Childfree people know how much work it is and that's precisely why some of them chose not to have kids. It seems like a lot of people with children have given it much less thought before having kids and are shocked at how much work it entails.

Yes!!! I’m child free and constantly amazed at parents who act like it was a shock that parenting is hard. Don’t blame me because you didn’t know what you were getting into by having kids.

Same. I just laugh internally.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL has 3 kids and he never got it either. All that ever mattered to him was he, he, he. One year, I was traveling with 2 small kids to Africa where we lived. Flight was at midnight. He took a week off to pack for his cruise and told me that he can't help me as he was packing for his cruise, that he was not leaving for for 4 days still.
He always made it to pick up his son from the airport.
I will never forgive it, never. I was in the States bcs my DD was sick and this was us packing to go back. I took a shuttle in the middle of the night to airport.
Did he have to help me? No, not at all. I will still never forgive this.

This just reflects negatively on you, OP, not him. You are petty and entitled.

Whatever. I am neither petty not entitled. FIL is both, all the time. You have no idea as you sound just like FIL. Selfish, self centered person.

Anonymous wrote:From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate.

- Socrates

Aww, you’re cute. They don’t want your kids. Pinkie promise.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They think they do but unless you’ve had kids, not babysat or nannies, you will never know how much work it is on a daily basis.

Exactly what is your point OP? That kids are a lot of work? Yes, water is wet. We know.

Just childless family members trying to control the holiday plans and put pressure on us to travel more than we already do just don’t get it.

One of the awesome things about being a parent is that my nuclear family no longer includes my parents, in-laws, or siblings. The pressure to travel can only be so much.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They think they do but unless you’ve had kids, not babysat or nannies, you will never know how much work it is on a daily basis.

Exactly what is your point OP? That kids are a lot of work? Yes, water is wet. We know.

Just childless family members trying to control the holiday plans and put pressure on us to travel more than we already do just don’t get it.

Control? Lol

Aka the entire extended family won't let all plans revolve around me, because Children.

Yes, other people have things going on in their lives that are also important. Who would have thought.

I’m not OP but I can’t count the number of times family members have told me to just do x thing I said would not work for our family and it would be fine…. It’s slightly easier now that we have some diagnoses to describe our limitations but I feel deeply that people should just respect when parents (or anyone!) says something won’t work for them/their family

Anonymous wrote:My FIL has 3 kids and he never got it either. All that ever mattered to him was he, he, he. One year, I was traveling with 2 small kids to Africa where we lived. Flight was at midnight. He took a week off to pack for his cruise and told me that he can't help me as he was packing for his cruise, that he was not leaving for for 4 days still.
He always made it to pick up his son from the airport.
I will never forgive it, never. I was in the States bcs my DD was sick and this was us packing to go back. I took a shuttle in the middle of the night to airport.
Did he have to help me? No, not at all. I will still never forgive this.

This just reflects negatively on you, OP, not him. You are petty and entitled.

From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate.

- Socrates