Anonymous
Post 05/16/2022 15:32     Subject: Anyone's kid still undecided?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:SO? I am assuming these kids finally made decisions?


My kid made their decision and has been in tears the last week, regretting their decision. Unfortunately, they declined all the other offers, and now they don't have a choice unless they want to wait until the spring. We were a little surprised at the school our child chose. Although it is a school that would be considered "better" by the stats, we thought the other one was a better fit. I wish we had double deposited. If we have this same issue with our next two children, we will double deposit. I realize some of you will tell me this is wrong (you already did), but I really regret not doing it.


Poor thing We accidently double deposited and I'm thinkful for it. DC selected school A (not first choice, waitlisted at first choice), we paid the depoist, then he got off the waitlist at school B, after decision day. We had a REALLY fast turnaround at school B (4 days) so paid the deposit. But he'd already started the process at school A and had started to have an affinity for it so it took him a few days to get reaclimated and feel good about making the final choice. I didn't tell school A until I KNEW he felt good about school B (still pretty quick, though, so they could offer the spot to one of their waitlist kids if possible). We did lose the first depoist, but we were going to anyway and it gave him a little breather at a time when everything else is chaotic. In the grand view of paying for college, $400 is nothing for a little piece of mind.


That's not double-deposit, which is prohibited and shady and unethical. Sounds like your kid committed and then came off a waitlist and so de-committed and committed to that school. Nothing wrong with that.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2022 15:29     Subject: Anyone's kid still undecided?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:SO? I am assuming these kids finally made decisions?


My kid made their decision and has been in tears the last week, regretting their decision. Unfortunately, they declined all the other offers, and now they don't have a choice unless they want to wait until the spring. We were a little surprised at the school our child chose. Although it is a school that would be considered "better" by the stats, we thought the other one was a better fit. I wish we had double deposited. If we have this same issue with our next two children, we will double deposit. I realize some of you will tell me this is wrong (you already did), but I really regret not doing it.


Poor thing We accidently double deposited and I'm thinkful for it. DC selected school A (not first choice, waitlisted at first choice), we paid the depoist, then he got off the waitlist at school B, after decision day. We had a REALLY fast turnaround at school B (4 days) so paid the deposit. But he'd already started the process at school A and had started to have an affinity for it so it took him a few days to get reaclimated and feel good about making the final choice. I didn't tell school A until I KNEW he felt good about school B (still pretty quick, though, so they could offer the spot to one of their waitlist kids if possible). We did lose the first depoist, but we were going to anyway and it gave him a little breather at a time when everything else is chaotic. In the grand view of paying for college, $400 is nothing for a little piece of mind.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2022 11:51     Subject: Anyone's kid still undecided?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:SO? I am assuming these kids finally made decisions?


My kid made their decision and has been in tears the last week, regretting their decision. Unfortunately, they declined all the other offers, and now they don't have a choice unless they want to wait until the spring. We were a little surprised at the school our child chose. Although it is a school that would be considered "better" by the stats, we thought the other one was a better fit. I wish we had double deposited. If we have this same issue with our next two children, we will double deposit. I realize some of you will tell me this is wrong (you already did), but I really regret not doing it.


Call the preferred school and tell them you changed your mind. It is probably not too late because the waitlists are still open in many schools. Tell them that you made a terrible mistake, explain why and ask for an exception. I’d be surprised if they were not willing to accommodate. That said, are you sure you would not have that same regret if you chose the preferred school? Are you going to regret again if they allow the switch?
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2022 11:29     Subject: Anyone's kid still undecided?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:SO? I am assuming these kids finally made decisions?


My kid made their decision and has been in tears the last week, regretting their decision. Unfortunately, they declined all the other offers, and now they don't have a choice unless they want to wait until the spring. We were a little surprised at the school our child chose. Although it is a school that would be considered "better" by the stats, we thought the other one was a better fit. I wish we had double deposited. If we have this same issue with our next two children, we will double deposit. I realize some of you will tell me this is wrong (you already did), but I really regret not doing it.


ugh I just don't understand being so SAD about making college choice? and crying for a week after? Get that kid to the school store, buy some stuff, join the class instagram and meet people and then tell her to suck it up and get through it. They can transfer but if they go in with a bad attitude, which this kid seems to have, they are going to have a terrible experience.


DP: Yes, I agree w/ school gear therapy. Also, talk up all the great things about the place kid DID choose. We've been doing that, and DD is feeling confident she made the right choice.


It's the first real-life decision that a kid must make and none are fully equipped to make it. Based on the snippet above, it sounds like this kid probably felt like they should commit to the best, i.e., highest ranked school (which is obviously subjective b/c US News is not the be all and all) school instead of the right school for them. It's hard b/c they want to be able to tell their peers that they are going to some super-impressive school. That's a big problem in this area where kids (and their parents) feel the pressure to one-up everyone else.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2022 11:24     Subject: Anyone's kid still undecided?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:SO? I am assuming these kids finally made decisions?


My kid made their decision and has been in tears the last week, regretting their decision. Unfortunately, they declined all the other offers, and now they don't have a choice unless they want to wait until the spring. We were a little surprised at the school our child chose. Although it is a school that would be considered "better" by the stats, we thought the other one was a better fit. I wish we had double deposited. If we have this same issue with our next two children, we will double deposit. I realize some of you will tell me this is wrong (you already did), but I really regret not doing it.


ugh I just don't understand being so SAD about making college choice? and crying for a week after? Get that kid to the school store, buy some stuff, join the class instagram and meet people and then tell her to suck it up and get through it. They can transfer but if they go in with a bad attitude, which this kid seems to have, they are going to have a terrible experience.


DP: Yes, I agree w/ school gear therapy. Also, talk up all the great things about the place kid DID choose. We've been doing that, and DD is feeling confident she made the right choice.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2022 09:25     Subject: Anyone's kid still undecided?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:SO? I am assuming these kids finally made decisions?


My kid made their decision and has been in tears the last week, regretting their decision. Unfortunately, they declined all the other offers, and now they don't have a choice unless they want to wait until the spring. We were a little surprised at the school our child chose. Although it is a school that would be considered "better" by the stats, we thought the other one was a better fit. I wish we had double deposited. If we have this same issue with our next two children, we will double deposit. I realize some of you will tell me this is wrong (you already did), but I really regret not doing it.


ugh I just don't understand being so SAD about making college choice? and crying for a week after? Get that kid to the school store, buy some stuff, join the class instagram and meet people and then tell her to suck it up and get through it. They can transfer but if they go in with a bad attitude, which this kid seems to have, they are going to have a terrible experience.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2022 09:24     Subject: Anyone's kid still undecided?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:SO? I am assuming these kids finally made decisions?


My kid made their decision and has been in tears the last week, regretting their decision. Unfortunately, they declined all the other offers, and now they don't have a choice unless they want to wait until the spring. We were a little surprised at the school our child chose. Although it is a school that would be considered "better" by the stats, we thought the other one was a better fit. I wish we had double deposited. If we have this same issue with our next two children, we will double deposit. I realize some of you will tell me this is wrong (you already did), but I really regret not doing it.


Buyer’s remorse. Happens to me all the time. Whenever I make a decision on a major purchase one way, I inevitably regret it. All that it means is that there were strong reasons both ways. Sometimes you just have to make up your mind, sometimes you just have to finally decide. And then live with it. Ultimately it doesn’t matter. Any college is just an opportunity. What WILL matter is what he makes of that opportunity AND whether he can set a direction for his path in life. After all, college is just a means to move him forward on his life journey. It’s not the destination.

And for my 2 cents, there’s nothing wrong with a double deposit. People do it all the time. And colleges certainly have no problem pulling kids off their wait list and expecting them to renege on their deposit somewhere else.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2022 09:12     Subject: Anyone's kid still undecided?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:SO? I am assuming these kids finally made decisions?


My kid made their decision and has been in tears the last week, regretting their decision. Unfortunately, they declined all the other offers, and now they don't have a choice unless they want to wait until the spring. We were a little surprised at the school our child chose. Although it is a school that would be considered "better" by the stats, we thought the other one was a better fit. I wish we had double deposited. If we have this same issue with our next two children, we will double deposit. I realize some of you will tell me this is wrong (you already did), but I really regret not doing it.


Or your kid could just make the right choice the first time.