Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The person who wants change has to be the one to change. If you’re unsatisfied with the amount of sex, you are the one who needs to make changes, particularly if you have the spare time, spare energy, and spare money for an affair.

If the couple had more sex at the beginning of their relationship, and now is having less because the wife will not participate, then your point is nonsense.

Look at your words, and really try to understand what you have written. Apply your reasoning to another aspect of married life.

If at the beginning of the marriage the DH shared all of his earnings, but now only shares 5% of them, the relationship has changed. If that 5% equaled the same amount of money (in inflation-adjusted dollars), the relationship has still changed.

Making a unilateral change and then demanding your spouse change to regain the status quo is what you are suggesting.

She can get her 50% in court. No court will order her to have sex with him. Your parallel doesn’t hold up.

Marriage does not entitle you to sex. The only thing that ensures you get sex within marriage is being someone your spouse wants to have sex with.

Know what else marriage doesn’t eNtItLe you to? Fidelity.

I mean it’s literally in the vows, and infidelity is a crime in several states including Virginia, so I beg to differ.

Wow so Nobody in Virginia cheats? Because it’s in the vow and you could go to jail? Who knew. Guess you are entitled to fidelity. So go right on being sexless because he won’t cheat. Because those Vows.

You’re right that VA is not a community property state— she could easily get more than half.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The person who wants change has to be the one to change. If you’re unsatisfied with the amount of sex, you are the one who needs to make changes, particularly if you have the spare time, spare energy, and spare money for an affair.

If the couple had more sex at the beginning of their relationship, and now is having less because the wife will not participate, then your point is nonsense.

Look at your words, and really try to understand what you have written. Apply your reasoning to another aspect of married life.

If at the beginning of the marriage the DH shared all of his earnings, but now only shares 5% of them, the relationship has changed. If that 5% equaled the same amount of money (in inflation-adjusted dollars), the relationship has still changed.

Making a unilateral change and then demanding your spouse change to regain the status quo is what you are suggesting.

She can get her 50% in court. No court will order her to have sex with him. Your parallel doesn’t hold up.

Marriage does not entitle you to sex. The only thing that ensures you get sex within marriage is being someone your spouse wants to have sex with.

Know what else marriage doesn’t eNtItLe you to? Fidelity.

I mean it’s literally in the vows, and infidelity is a crime in several states including Virginia, so I beg to differ.

Except when you get married you normally promise in front of God and your families to be faithful.
You don’t promise to be horny.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Honestly, this makes me roll my eyes. Every woman I know has felt undervalued as a wife and person, and their husbands treat married and family life as a chore and lack all enthusiasm. Dudes should think about practicing what they preach, if they want enthusiasm and to feel valued, lead by example rather than nagging.

PF - this advice should work for both parties in a marriage. Every man I know has felt undervalued as well.

What I hear most, however, is women wanting their DH to change without making any effort to change themselves. Watch.

This post will be met with "How do you expect me to do _____, when he is always screwing up _________?" It is easy to focus on what others can do for you.

The person who wants change has to be the one to change. If you’re unsatisfied with the amount of sex, you are the one who needs to make changes, particularly if you have the spare time, spare energy, and spare money for an affair.

The person who changed from having a normal active sex life into a dried sexless prune has to be the one to change. If you are unsatisfied with your partner going elsewhere for sex, then just stop rejecting and start initiating.

Normally, the change doesn't happen in a vacuum. Ther are usually other factors at play. You are looking at the symptom rather than the cause. Fix the cause; the symptom will go away.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Honestly, this makes me roll my eyes. Every woman I know has felt undervalued as a wife and person, and their husbands treat married and family life as a chore and lack all enthusiasm. Dudes should think about practicing what they preach, if they want enthusiasm and to feel valued, lead by example rather than nagging.

PF - this advice should work for both parties in a marriage. Every man I know has felt undervalued as well.

What I hear most, however, is women wanting their DH to change without making any effort to change themselves. Watch.

This post will be met with "How do you expect me to do _____, when he is always screwing up _________?" It is easy to focus on what others can do for you.

The person who wants change has to be the one to change. If you’re unsatisfied with the amount of sex, you are the one who needs to make changes, particularly if you have the spare time, spare energy, and spare money for an affair.

The person who changed from having a normal active sex life into a dried sexless prune has to be the one to change. If you are unsatisfied with your partner going elsewhere for sex, then just stop rejecting and start initiating.

Anonymous wrote:

Making a unilateral change and then demanding your spouse change to regain the status quo is what you are suggesting.

She can get her 50% in court. No court will order her to have sex with him. Your parallel doesn’t hold up.

Marriage does not entitle you to sex. The only thing that ensures you get sex within marriage is being someone your spouse wants to have sex with.
[Report Post]

First, you tried to dodge the point about her making a change in the marriage. Reread the post. Better yet, get someone who can read to explain it to you.

Second, what 50% is she going to get? VA is not a community property state, and the court will award her what is "fair and equitable." Almony is based on a formula, and this formula does not require a 50-50 spilt.

Again, you have no idea what you are talking about.

Anonymous wrote:OP -- have you asked your wife if it's ok for you to get sex elsewhere, since she isn't giving it to you? If she's ok with that, it's not cheating, and there's nothing wrong with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The person who wants change has to be the one to change. If you’re unsatisfied with the amount of sex, you are the one who needs to make changes, particularly if you have the spare time, spare energy, and spare money for an affair.

If the couple had more sex at the beginning of their relationship, and now is having less because the wife will not participate, then your point is nonsense.

Look at your words, and really try to understand what you have written. Apply your reasoning to another aspect of married life.

If at the beginning of the marriage the DH shared all of his earnings, but now only shares 5% of them, the relationship has changed. If that 5% equaled the same amount of money (in inflation-adjusted dollars), the relationship has still changed.

Making a unilateral change and then demanding your spouse change to regain the status quo is what you are suggesting.

She can get her 50% in court. No court will order her to have sex with him. Your parallel doesn’t hold up.

Marriage does not entitle you to sex. The only thing that ensures you get sex within marriage is being someone your spouse wants to have sex with.

Know what else marriage doesn’t eNtItLe you to? Fidelity.

Making a unilateral change and then demanding your spouse change to regain the status quo is what you are suggesting.

She can get her 50% in court. No court will order her to have sex with him. Your parallel doesn’t hold up.

Marriage does not entitle you to sex. The only thing that ensures you get sex within marriage is being someone your spouse wants to have sex with.
[Report Post]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have low self esteem, cheating is not the answer (if you have any character, that will only make you feel worse about yourself—let alone your family , if they found out).

Your value is not measured by mileage on your d*ck.

Please get therapy.

You can't live in a society where individuals are constantly being told, in ways big and little, that attractiveness to the opposite sex is a significant indicator of value and then tell a person to get therapy when they happen to notice the connection.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The person who wants change has to be the one to change. If you’re unsatisfied with the amount of sex, you are the one who needs to make changes, particularly if you have the spare time, spare energy, and spare money for an affair.

If the couple had more sex at the beginning of their relationship, and now is having less because the wife will not participate, then your point is nonsense.

Look at your words, and really try to understand what you have written. Apply your reasoning to another aspect of married life.

If at the beginning of the marriage the DH shared all of his earnings, but now only shares 5% of them, the relationship has changed. If that 5% equaled the same amount of money (in inflation-adjusted dollars), the relationship has still changed.

Making a unilateral change and then demanding your spouse change to regain the status quo is what you are suggesting.

She can get her 50% in court. No court will order her to have sex with him. Your parallel doesn’t hold up.

Marriage does not entitle you to sex. The only thing that ensures you get sex within marriage is being someone your spouse wants to have sex with.

Know what else marriage doesn’t eNtItLe you to? Fidelity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The person who wants change has to be the one to change. If you’re unsatisfied with the amount of sex, you are the one who needs to make changes, particularly if you have the spare time, spare energy, and spare money for an affair.

If the couple had more sex at the beginning of their relationship, and now is having less because the wife will not participate, then your point is nonsense.

Look at your words, and really try to understand what you have written. Apply your reasoning to another aspect of married life.

If at the beginning of the marriage the DH shared all of his earnings, but now only shares 5% of them, the relationship has changed. If that 5% equaled the same amount of money (in inflation-adjusted dollars), the relationship has still changed.

Making a unilateral change and then demanding your spouse change to regain the status quo is what you are suggesting.

She can get her 50% in court. No court will order her to have sex with him. Your parallel doesn’t hold up.

Marriage does not entitle you to sex. The only thing that ensures you get sex within marriage is being someone your spouse wants to have sex with.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Honestly, this makes me roll my eyes. Every woman I know has felt undervalued as a wife and person, and their husbands treat married and family life as a chore and lack all enthusiasm. Dudes should think about practicing what they preach, if they want enthusiasm and to feel valued, lead by example rather than nagging.

PF - this advice should work for both parties in a marriage. Every man I know has felt undervalued as well.

What I hear most, however, is women wanting their DH to change without making any effort to change themselves. Watch.

This post will be met with "How do you expect me to do _____, when he is always screwing up _________?" It is easy to focus on what others can do for you.

The person who wants change has to be the one to change. If you’re unsatisfied with the amount of sex, you are the one who needs to make changes, particularly if you have the spare time, spare energy, and spare money for an affair.