Anonymous wrote:I have a great body and have a beautiful face. And it’s enough, except it’s not. I’m not tall. I want to experience high fashion, walk a runway, have my hair, makeup done, etc. I have a pang of sadness at never getting to be a supermodel. Please help me get over not having my height.

I grew up UMC, and had good vacations and went to a fancy private college. But I’m sad that I don’t have a trust fund. I envy people who do; it has to make life so much simpler.

[I really do feel that, and I recognize how absurd and unreasonable it is at the same time. No commiseration needed; just have to put it aside in my mind because life.]

Move on.

Anonymous wrote:I have two elementary-aged sons. I love them. I am also done having kids.

There's part of me that feels sad that I will never experience having a daughter, with the closeness that entails: confidences, shopping, just a closer female relationship that I see all around me. In my experience, sons don't call their moms when they grow up as much, they're not as close, they gravitate to the wife's family (if they marry), etc.

I absolutely adore my children, but there's a pang of sadness I feel for what I will never have. Is this normal? Anyone else? How can I confront/get over/feel better about it??

You never know how it will turn out. I'm a woman and gravitate much more to DH's family than mine. We see them much more frequently because they are just easier to be around.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, what a selfish and ridiculous post. This woman is insufferable and doubt a girl would please her.

None of these elements are in OP's post. Perhaps you read something else?

They most certainly are. Perhaps you need to comprehend.

I'm the OP, and they most certainly aren't. I wrote something that many women can relate to but many are afraid to articulate. I'm sorry if it hit a bad note with you. It's not selfish to wonder about having a daughter. "Insufferable"? Why the overreaction? It is a legitimate feeling. A common one. Be kinder please.

You don’t get to decree “they most certainly aren’t.” You are anything but objective.

You also don’t get to control how others respond. If you don’t like a response, scroll on by.

+1

I have a great body and have a beautiful face. And it’s enough, except it’s not. I’m not tall. I want to experience high fashion, walk a runway, have my hair, makeup done, etc. I have a pang of sadness at never getting to be a supermodel. Please help me get over not having my height.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, what a selfish and ridiculous post. This woman is insufferable and doubt a girl would please her.

None of these elements are in OP's post. Perhaps you read something else?

They most certainly are. Perhaps you need to comprehend.

I'm the OP, and they most certainly aren't. I wrote something that many women can relate to but many are afraid to articulate. I'm sorry if it hit a bad note with you. It's not selfish to wonder about having a daughter. "Insufferable"? Why the overreaction? It is a legitimate feeling. A common one. Be kinder please.

You don’t get to decree “they most certainly aren’t.” You are anything but objective.

You also don’t get to control how others respond. If you don’t like a response, scroll on by.

You asked in your original post if this is normal and now you many women can relate to. You don’t even know. You’re a mess. Yes, there is a reason not to articulate this. The insufferable is your whining about it and posting asking for help. Woe is me.

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Anonymous wrote:I hope your children don’t find out they don’t fulfill you. I would hate for you to be my mother knowing that I’m not all you “need.” Terrible.

Do you apply this same illogic to anyone that has more than one child? After all, apparently the first child was not all they “needed,” or they wouldn’t have had another one!

Keep reaching.

I also have two sons. Sure, part of me is sad about not having a daughter, but my sons are so awesome. I echo others comments about finding ways to be close to them. Mine are teen/tween. One of mine is super outdoorsy (like me) and loves nature. We kayak together, and fish, and hunt for frogs. My other snuggles watching movies, tries to teach me basketball, and is super chatty when we walk the dog together. I’m pretty confident we’ll continue to have a close relationship as they get older. They also have this incredible brother relationship with each other which is so fun to watch.

Yes, I would have loved to see what a daughter of mine turned out like and the kind of relationship I would have with her, but I feel so lucky to have my two boys. I look around at my friends and their relationships with their moms and it’s such a mixed bag; some are close, but many are estranged or tense. I was close with my own mom, but she died when I was 23 so generally have an attitude that we should just treasure whatever family relationships life gives us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, what a selfish and ridiculous post. This woman is insufferable and doubt a girl would please her.

None of these elements are in OP's post. Perhaps you read something else?

They most certainly are. Perhaps you need to comprehend.

I'm the OP, and they most certainly aren't. I wrote something that many women can relate to but many are afraid to articulate. I'm sorry if it hit a bad note with you. It's not selfish to wonder about having a daughter. "Insufferable"? Why the overreaction? It is a legitimate feeling. A common one. Be kinder please.

You don’t get to decree “they most certainly aren’t.” You are anything but objective.

You also don’t get to control how others respond. If you don’t like a response, scroll on by.

Why not be kind?

Anonymous wrote:I hope your children don’t find out they don’t fulfill you. I would hate for you to be my mother knowing that I’m not all you “need.” Terrible.

Do you apply this same illogic to anyone that has more than one child? After all, apparently the first child was not all they “needed,” or they wouldn’t have had another one!

I have surprise boy/girl twins. The only granddaughter on my side (6 grandsons), but I only have sisters. Turns out this girl hates having her hair done and is a firebrand force of nature. It his her brother who is generous with affection and unabashedly loves his mom. In other words, even daughters are who nature makes.

It's okay to be wistful for something you don't have while being glad for what you have. We do it everyday in many facets of life.

I have an only child after a long battle with infertility. I don’t know if it’s the infertility angle, but I hear this a LOT from people who seem perfectly happy with their family of boys. I’m sure it’s not all moms of sons, but it’s not uncommon at all. OP, many of us don’t have the family we imagined. It’s okay to simultaneously feel joy for what you have and sadness for what you don’t. You just can’t let the sadness become the primary emotion, and yes, you do have to be careful who you talk to. People will judge and sometimes that’s defensiveness and not really about you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, what a selfish and ridiculous post. This woman is insufferable and doubt a girl would please her.

So someone is honest and you say she’s selfish & ridiculous. Time to work on your empathy! And btw - her feeling is very very common!! So many of my friends wish they had a daughter. Just like some men wish they had a son. There is nothing “insufferable” about this…

Yes, there is. “Insufferable” is an opinion. You don’t share that opinion. Oh well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, what a selfish and ridiculous post. This woman is insufferable and doubt a girl would please her.

None of these elements are in OP's post. Perhaps you read something else?

They most certainly are. Perhaps you need to comprehend.

I'm the OP, and they most certainly aren't. I wrote something that many women can relate to but many are afraid to articulate. I'm sorry if it hit a bad note with you. It's not selfish to wonder about having a daughter. "Insufferable"? Why the overreaction? It is a legitimate feeling. A common one. Be kinder please.

You don’t get to decree “they most certainly aren’t.” You are anything but objective.

You also don’t get to control how others respond. If you don’t like a response, scroll on by.