Anonymous
Post 03/20/2022 09:51     Subject: Step children and family rules
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That crazy, they've known one of these girls since she was 2! She doesn't remember her life before them! How heartless. Regardless, you should let the girls take the trip and take them somewhere else, like the beach. Maybe something older girls will enjoy more, like New York. I'm sorry.


And you got knocked up by a guy who had a one and 3 year old. Gross


They were probably an affair.


^ Yup. Explains OPs attempts to have a fairy tale family. Trying to minimize the guilt.


I was a little puzzled by the grandparents but this is a good explanation for the timeline and the grandparents' behavior. OP is trying to make a "perfect family" to assuage some of the guilt of being the AP, while the grandparents are trying to be sure their bio grandkids feel "special" and get treated well given that they lost their intact family early.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2022 09:49     Subject: Step children and family rules
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yeah that’s pretty terrible. I have a 15 year old DSS and am very lucky that my parents treat him totally equally (down to putting the same amount in his 529 as for their biological grandkids).

I would hold firm.


OP here,

My parents are wealthy and they have money set up for college for my kids only. I am only child and they do spoil my kids rotten but I just will love all kids to be included on a holiday trip. It's weird to separate them. My husband parents are really nice and fair with all kids. Ex-wife parents live in a different state. I want all my kids to have nice vacation, money for college and normal childhood experiences. My parents are 65 and 68 years old, excellent health and retired.




That sounds nice and all, but I’m thinking of my two children and how hard it is to find common things that they both like for a week for mine in elementary and mine in high school. You are asking a lot of the grandparents to take 4 kids to Paris.


OP here,

The trip to Paris is just one example, tickets to concert, and other high end activities they always exclude my step kids. My dh and I have try to be nice and not set boundaries with my parents, but this trip was just the end of it.
I will allowed my 10 year old daughter to go with my parents and my dh and I will plan a different vacation for the three kids. My 12 year old refused completely. She wants to vacation with her sisters.

Her half sisters.

🙄 those girls are sisters, they don’t know life without each other, and good for OPs 12 year old for saying she doesn’t want to vacation without her sisters. 12 year olds see things, OP doesn’t have to be sandbagging her parents to her daughter, her daughter can see things with her own eyes.


They are half sisters whether you like it or not.and yes they do know lige without each other. The step sisters are gone half the time to their mom's and leave to go to grandmas.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2022 09:46     Subject: Step children and family rules
Anonymous wrote:The real question is, how do you let your parents get away with this behavior for 10 years? They’re toxic and shouldn’t have access to any of the kids.

Nope, your parents go to Paris without any kids and you and your husband take all four of them on a trip.

Or this is a troll pose because any trip to Paris over spring break should’ve been planned months ago.


Not necessarily. We planned a European trip spur of the moment a couple of weeks ago.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2022 09:33     Subject: Re:Step children and family rules
Jeez. Everyone is so rude and far fetched.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2022 09:32     Subject: Step children and family rules
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Well, the DCUM bullies are out in full-force today.

I’ve only skimmed this and so much absurd vitriol (some of it really far fetched from the information OP have) aimed at OP. What is wrong with people?

+1 there’s a lot of gross people out today. So much vitriol
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2022 09:26     Subject: Step children and family rules
Anonymous wrote:Well, the DCUM bullies are out in full-force today.

I’ve only skimmed this and so much absurd vitriol (some of it really far fetched from the information OP have) aimed at OP. What is wrong with people?
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2022 09:24     Subject: Step children and family rules
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yeah that’s pretty terrible. I have a 15 year old DSS and am very lucky that my parents treat him totally equally (down to putting the same amount in his 529 as for their biological grandkids).

I would hold firm.


OP here,

My parents are wealthy and they have money set up for college for my kids only. I am only child and they do spoil my kids rotten but I just will love all kids to be included on a holiday trip. It's weird to separate them. My husband parents are really nice and fair with all kids. Ex-wife parents live in a different state. I want all my kids to have nice vacation, money for college and normal childhood experiences. My parents are 65 and 68 years old, excellent health and retired.




That sounds nice and all, but I’m thinking of my two children and how hard it is to find common things that they both like for a week for mine in elementary and mine in high school. You are asking a lot of the grandparents to take 4 kids to Paris.


OP here,

The trip to Paris is just one example, tickets to concert, and other high end activities they always exclude my step kids. My dh and I have try to be nice and not set boundaries with my parents, but this trip was just the end of it.
I will allowed my 10 year old daughter to go with my parents and my dh and I will plan a different vacation for the three kids. My 12 year old refused completely. She wants to vacation with her sisters.

Her half sisters.

🙄 those girls are sisters, they don’t know life without each other, and good for OPs 12 year old for saying she doesn’t want to vacation without her sisters. 12 year olds see things, OP doesn’t have to be sandbagging her parents to her daughter, her daughter can see things with her own eyes.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2022 09:20     Subject: Step children and family rules
Anonymous wrote:This topic is stepkids and family rules. The grandparents set the rules and you don’t respect them. You are the problem.

In what family do grandparents set the rules?!
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2022 09:10     Subject: Step children and family rules
Anonymous wrote:Well, the DCUM bullies are out in full-force today.


Agreed, and can you imagine their responses to adults complaining about how there were favorites in their family, and how their Dad's new kids were treated to trips to Paris and free college?

OP - stand strong, ignore these people and have a heart to heart with your parents about how they are damaging YOUR family.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2022 23:21     Subject: Re:Step children and family rules
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My parents are grooming my kids to live a lavish life and by them excluding my step kids, it's can be a big issues when all the sisters are adults. My parents estate will guarantee my kids don't need to work ever. Dh and I are saving for college, cars, down payment for homes and etc for my step kids. We make decent amount but not the same as my parents. Step kids mom is a teacher and her parents are Middle class. Dh parents are also a modest income and retired. Money is tight everywhere except our home and my parents. My kids are generous and I am positive, they will share with their siblings when the time comes but I am can do my best to save more for my step kids.


It’s so bizarre that you think grandparents enjoying and spending on their grandkids is “grooming”, and that you expect your parents to fund the lifestyles of people they aren’t related to.

I don’t understand why you are so adamant that stepkids get more than your own kids. Your kids are young and compliant now, but as they get older, they will resent you prioritizing stepkids over them.


Op is grooming the lavish lifestyle as they are clearly living above their means if grandparent have to pay all that.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2022 23:18     Subject: Re:Step children and family rules
Anonymous wrote:My parents are grooming my kids to live a lavish life and by them excluding my step kids, it's can be a big issues when all the sisters are adults. My parents estate will guarantee my kids don't need to work ever. Dh and I are saving for college, cars, down payment for homes and etc for my step kids. We make decent amount but not the same as my parents. Step kids mom is a teacher and her parents are Middle class. Dh parents are also a modest income and retired. Money is tight everywhere except our home and my parents. My kids are generous and I am positive, they will share with their siblings when the time comes but I am can do my best to save more for my step kids.


It’s so bizarre that you think grandparents enjoying and spending on their grandkids is “grooming”, and that you expect your parents to fund the lifestyles of people they aren’t related to.

I don’t understand why you are so adamant that stepkids get more than your own kids. Your kids are young and compliant now, but as they get older, they will resent you prioritizing stepkids over them.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2022 21:18     Subject: Step children and family rules
This topic is stepkids and family rules. The grandparents set the rules and you don’t respect them. You are the problem.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2022 21:16     Subject: Re:Step children and family rules
Anonymous wrote:My parents are grooming my kids to live a lavish life and by them excluding my step kids, it's can be a big issues when all the sisters are adults. My parents estate will guarantee my kids don't need to work ever. Dh and I are saving for college, cars, down payment for homes and etc for my step kids. We make decent amount but not the same as my parents. Step kids mom is a teacher and her parents are Middle class. Dh parents are also a modest income and retired. Money is tight everywhere except our home and my parents. My kids are generous and I am positive, they will share with their siblings when the time comes but I am can do my best to save more for my step kids.


Then financially help mom more if you are such a good person. Fund a trip for them.

You are greedy. You are not entitled to your parents money and they are extremely generous. These are not your kids. Respect they have two parents. You are buying their love.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2022 21:13     Subject: Re:Step children and family rules
My parents are grooming my kids to live a lavish life and by them excluding my step kids, it's can be a big issues when all the sisters are adults. My parents estate will guarantee my kids don't need to work ever. Dh and I are saving for college, cars, down payment for homes and etc for my step kids. We make decent amount but not the same as my parents. Step kids mom is a teacher and her parents are Middle class. Dh parents are also a modest income and retired. Money is tight everywhere except our home and my parents. My kids are generous and I am positive, they will share with their siblings when the time comes but I am can do my best to save more for my step kids.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2022 21:07     Subject: Step children and family rules
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That crazy, they've known one of these girls since she was 2! She doesn't remember her life before them! How heartless. Regardless, you should let the girls take the trip and take them somewhere else, like the beach. Maybe something older girls will enjoy more, like New York. I'm sorry.


And you got knocked up by a guy who had a one and 3 year old. Gross


They were probably an affair.


Yes