Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The baby won't know dad wasn't there.
Sometimes parents have to divide and conquer.

It's unfortunate but, I agree with your husband here.

The christening of your child isn’t something only one parent can conquer.

No? Single parents aren’t allowed to baptize their children? Didn’t know that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looked at another way, OP, you are prioritizing your parents' attendance over your husband and son's. If it's that important to you that he be there, reschedule.

It’s kind of unfortunate that the in-laws are playing a role here. I think it’s a red herring. The dad is being a jerk regardless of what the in laws think.

Anonymous wrote:OP, the sports tournament would not happen in my family. Full stop.

Years from now, you will remember the christening - you will have family pictures and talk about the day. I guarantee you that your child and husband will not remember that exact sports tournament years from now.

Anonymous wrote:It's really a simple choice:
Either you are planning to raise your child in your faith, and this baptism is a critical part of their eternal salvation, or you aren't.

I can imagine a scenario where baptism isn't actually important to you and you chose to do this to make someone else (your parents?) happy. In that case, just own up to it and cancel the baptism.

If you do believe that baptism is a holy sacrament, then I can't even believe you'd consider doing it without your husband there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here to clarify.
Subject line should say son. I also have a daughter but she is going to baptism. Baptism was scheduled months ago so my parents can purchase flights. Plus, baptisms are a big deal in my culture and it is traditional to host a luncheon afterwards so we had to book restaurant and send invitations. This was all scheduled well before we knew about tournament.
Son is 15. Husband is of the same faith as me and his entire family will be there.

You had to have known the tournament was a possibility and that there was a chance your husband and son would not be available. You played the odds and lost. I get the logistics - I have a kid in travel sports and I had baptisms for all of my kids. But you prioritized your baby and parents over your son and husband and now are upset that they called you on it. And clearly when you realized there was a conflict instead of looking into the possibility of changing the dates, you dug in your heels decided to continue prioritizing baby and parents.

I would be upset to miss my baby’s baptism. But I’m not so sure I’d make a different choice. Either way I’m going to have to pick which kid to support.

And even a few weeks out you can still change it. Your parents can change their arrangements and you can move the date.

OP here. The son we are baptizing is also my husband's son and just as important. He was involved with choosing the date. The fact that you are making this all about me is just plain weird.
Also, all kids are biological kids.
No way to change the date this late in the game. Read my earlier comment. Church reserved and booked solid. Restaurant reserved. Guests are attending. Flights booked.

Majority wins in this case.

Anonymous wrote:Looked at another way, OP, you are prioritizing your parents' attendance over your husband and son's. If it's that important to you that he be there, reschedule.

Anonymous wrote:We are baptizing our young son in a few weeks. My older son has an important soccer tournament that weekend and my husband will be taking him. They will both miss the baptism. we are unable to reschedule since my parents are flying in from another country. They are furious that the father will miss this important milestone.
They asked if someone else can take my son to play and although that is logistically possible, my husband declined. He is very invested in my son's soccer. My parents aren't thrilled that my other son is missing this either.
I am annoyed too but nothing I say will change anything so I don't bother trying to convince him.
My questions are: is it that bad that they are missing this?
How do I get my parents to back off?

Anonymous wrote:The baby won't know dad wasn't there.
Sometimes parents have to divide and conquer.

It's unfortunate but, I agree with your husband here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like other posters feel it too...OP what aren't you telling us?

...your marriage is on the rocks?
...your husband comes from a culture that prioritizes sports / boys over all else?
...your husband finds excuses not to spend time with the family?
...your husband is having an affair with another soccer parent?
...your husband hates your family?
...why did you intentionally have kids with such a large age gap?

Quite likely at least three of these things are true.

Anonymous wrote:Also, is this a tournament where there are multiple games? Missing one game is not a big deal.

Anonymous wrote:How old is your older child?

When my kids were little, we thought travel sports were sooooo important. Over time, we realized that most families miss a tournament once in a while. To me, christening trumps sports. Husband and son should skip the tourney. Especially if he is, say, 7.