Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But isn’t the survey anonymous?

Why would t 8th grade girls not answer truthfully if the survey is actually anonymous?

I hear kids laughing at how they lie on those surveys.

Wow - you really are in denial about this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not just one talk, it's ongoing.

While not sex, per se, my middle school had to get rid of bathroom stall doors because too much oral sex was going on. Fun times. It was mortifying to go to the bathroom as a girl in middle school without doors.

Oral sex is sex. It involves penetration of a person’s body, no matter how slight.

Oral is not sex.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are looking for a way to break the ice on this discussion with your 8th grader, I think this film nailed both the wide range of experience of 14 year olds and what becoming sexually active really brings with it:

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081060/

Good for boys to watch too as its not just one sided

Really? Nothing better than a 42yo movie?

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7014006/

the modern and really well done equivalent

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are looking for a way to break the ice on this discussion with your 8th grader, I think this film nailed both the wide range of experience of 14 year olds and what becoming sexually active really brings with it:

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081060/

Good for boys to watch too as its not just one sided

Really? Nothing better than a 42yo movie?

That’s the point. I saw this movie in 1980. There was nothing shocking about it. When I was in seventh and eighth grade we were doing it at summer camp. School is hard enough to police. There’s no policing summer camp. Went from the sublime to the ridiculous. In carnival night at camp one year one girls’ cabin was selling French kisses and that was right out in the open in the cafeteria. Not hard to imagine what went on hiding in the woods.

Anonymous wrote:It's not just one talk, it's ongoing.

While not sex, per se, my middle school had to get rid of bathroom stall doors because too much oral sex was going on. Fun times. It was mortifying to go to the bathroom as a girl in middle school without doors.

Oral sex is sex. It involves penetration of a person’s body, no matter how slight.

Anonymous wrote:If you are looking for a way to break the ice on this discussion with your 8th grader, I think this film nailed both the wide range of experience of 14 year olds and what becoming sexually active really brings with it:

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081060/

Good for boys to watch too as its not just one sided

Really? Nothing better than a 42yo movie?

If you are looking for a way to break the ice on this discussion with your 8th grader, I think this film nailed both the wide range of experience of 14 year olds and what becoming sexually active really brings with it:

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081060/

Good for boys to watch too as its not just one sided

8th grade me would have been horrified by this even though I knew vaguely that it was going on. I was a late bloomer and did not get my period until 8th grade and pretty much got zero attention from boys until late high school or really college.

Parent of 7th grade son and my kid went through puberty on the early side and is also on the older end of the grade. He and others in his friend group have been "dating" since 6th grade. So yes, some of these kids will be having sex in 8th grade. I struggled with this a lot initially as I was reacting to these kids through my own lens and life experience as "too fast", up to no good, "future losers" etc. Not great and not fair. Now I can see plenty of these kids are just at that place sooner in life because that's what happened to them. Puberty hit. Can't stop it. It is what it is.

But yeah, if you have one of these kids (and you know it if you do), keep a close eye on them and lots of open and honest conversations early.

I think it depends on degree of physical development of the 8th grader and the attraction/reaction of the opposite sex that results.

When I was in 8th grade I remember there was a click of Uber popular girls - all were basically like a fully developed adult ( think Sports Illustrated swim suit model ) and the 8th Grade boys who they deemed fit to pay any attention to basically became the cool crowd of boys.

I'd note that the self- confidence of that group in middle school/ HS was VERY high, but it often leveled out by end of HS and some just tanked in college.

In terms of being sexually active, maybe they were and maybe not all were, but I do think that the girls in particular felt the power dynamic in play and that is a tempting thing not to use to become MORE popular or to just explore what you can do with it.

I would hope that that kind of personal development wait until adulthood ( college ) and develop a strong sense of identity first so that it is more immune to the hurt break ups can cause, not to mention STD's and PG.

For those reasons, 8th grade is FAR too young.

I'd track your concern to the degree to which your child has fully developed puberty wise and also look at how many in their friend group are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Crazy. All of my friends, except 1, had never done it before college.

That’s rare.

That’s just weird.

No. Too bad it’s not the norm.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But isn’t the survey anonymous?

Why would t 8th grade girls not answer truthfully if the survey is actually anonymous?

I hear kids laughing at how they lie on those surveys.

Every survey has a margin of error.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, they start having *** at age ** usually. By ** they are putting their ***** on each other’s ****. Some people even engage in **** *** *****. Kids who don’t **** or worse, even talk about *******, are usually ostracized.

Is this a puberty mad lib?

Anonymous wrote:But isn’t the survey anonymous?

Why would t 8th grade girls not answer truthfully if the survey is actually anonymous?

I hear kids laughing at how they lie on those surveys.

Anonymous wrote:In 8th grade the predominant thing is blow jobs/ hand jobs for the boys and fingering the girl. The was even addressed at our PTA meeting. One parent claimed that anal was being done.

Among teens, the two main reasons traditionally driving the activity in bold are 1) preserving virginity and 2) as a form of birth control.

The former is probably more myth than fact, and it’s been used to slander certain religious denominations. But there are verifiable cases.

As for the latter, that is beyond a doubt happening - particularly in other parts of the world. Not every place affords children the same access to birth control as here in the DMV. I have been to countries where even condoms were kept hidden under the pharmacy counter, and they would not be sold to teenagers.

But there’s in increasing third factor: the massive increase in LGTBQI+ teens and tweens. Yes- of course we all know many males in that community never engage in that activity. But let’s be honest - many do, and any stigma or taboo has rightfully been removed from it. So it stands to reason it’s happening among teen boys too. Again - not all. But some.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on your child. Have they hit puberty?

If you kid is boy/girl crazy at this age then more chances they get into it.

My son doesn't really chat/text with girls yet. He's into sports and gaming.

Are their 8th graders who haven't hit puberty???

I didn't get my period until I was 15. Didn't wear a bra till 17.
I had my first boyfriend/kiss at 19.