Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just like to point out that as you can see by the almost universal tone taken towards them on this site, to the wife the OW isn’t a real person either, just a caricature. The wife’s perspective is also entirely self centered and distorted but she can’t hear it.


NP. You’re comparing a spouse who’s been betrayed to one who willingly engages with a married person? Boy oh boy.

No I’m comparing the myopia of one vs the myopia of the other. The moral judgment isn’t the point of the observation.

That is the most ridiculous argument.

To the betrayed: the OW is very real.

In fact, it’s that reality that blows up families and friendships and children’s lives.

To the OW in the affair (the wife doesn’t even know about her, remember?!?!!) - the kids and wife don’t exist or are an obstacle to overcome.

Unless you have been an OW, you don’t know what you are to her.

Unless she has talked to the OW.

Well, I did! She had zero empathy for me. She wanted me to feel sorry for HER, a cheating married woman banging my spouse. She was angry at me. Remorse, guilt, empathy….haaaaahaaaaa. None there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it’s 2022 and we’re done blaming women for the transgressions of men. What an affair partner does is not good, but they’re not the one breaking their vows, taking away their spouses informed consent, and harming their children.

Agree. The person married is 100% at fault. It isn’t up to some random stranger you meet to make sure you don’t stray from your marriage vows. Maybe the woman doesn’t even know you are married. Either way- if she isn’t, your marriage isn’t hers or her problem. The person cheating is the problem- in its entirety. Done blaming women. Men that aren’t loyal to their spouse are the problem. They will always find “someone” whether it is a woman they lie to, a prostitute, a man in rest stop, an unsuspecting intern, a woman that just wants no strings attached too. The “other” person isn’t the problem. It is the married person that is the problem

This I love - how do you spot a "whore"? I admittedly have had affairs. Not a single person would look at me and think I'm a whore. Quite the opposite, I imagine most women find me unattractive. But men, that's a different story and I know if they are not sleeping with me they would be sleeping with someone else. It's always the married persons fault. The AP is just a convenience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol okay please tell us your secret formula on “how to spot a whore.”

This I love - how do you spot a "whore"? I admittedly have had affairs. Not a single person would look at me and think I'm a whore. Quite the opposite, I imagine most women find me unattractive. But men, that's a different story and I know if they are not sleeping with me they would be sleeping with someone else. It's always the married persons fault. The AP is just a convenience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol okay please tell us your secret formula on “how to spot a whore.”

This I love - how do you spot a "whore"? I admittedly have had affairs. Not a single person would look at me and think I'm a whore. Quite the opposite, [/b]I imagine most women find me unattractive. But men, that's a different story[b] and I know if they are not sleeping with me they would be sleeping with someone else. It's always the married persons fault. The AP is just a convenience.

Anonymous wrote:Lol okay please tell us your secret formula on “how to spot a whore.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it’s 2022 and we’re done blaming women for the transgressions of men. What an affair partner does is not good, but they’re not the one breaking their vows, taking away their spouses informed consent, and harming their children.

Agree. The person married is 100% at fault. It isn’t up to some random stranger you meet to make sure you don’t stray from your marriage vows. Maybe the woman doesn’t even know you are married. Either way- if she isn’t, your marriage isn’t hers or her problem. The person cheating is the problem- in its entirety. Done blaming women. Men that aren’t loyal to their spouse are the problem. They will always find “someone” whether it is a woman they lie to, a prostitute, a man in rest stop, an unsuspecting intern, a woman that just wants no strings attached too. The “other” person isn’t the problem. It is the married person that is the problem

Anonymous wrote:Because it’s 2022 and we’re done blaming women for the transgressions of men. What an affair partner does is not good, but they’re not the one breaking their vows, taking away their spouses informed consent, and harming their children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just like to point out that as you can see by the almost universal tone taken towards them on this site, to the wife the OW isn’t a real person either, just a caricature. The wife’s perspective is also entirely self centered and distorted but she can’t hear it.


NP. You’re comparing a spouse who’s been betrayed to one who willingly engages with a married person? Boy oh boy.

No I’m comparing the myopia of one vs the myopia of the other. The moral judgment isn’t the point of the observation.

That is the most ridiculous argument.

To the betrayed: the OW is very real.

In fact, it’s that reality that blows up families and friendships and children’s lives.

To the OW in the affair (the wife doesn’t even know about her, remember?!?!!) - the kids and wife don’t exist or are an obstacle to overcome.

Unless you have been an OW, you don’t know what you are to her.

Unless she has talked to the OW.

Well, I did! She had zero empathy for me. She wanted me to feel sorry for HER, a cheating married woman banging my spouse. She was angry at me. Remorse, guilt, empathy….haaaaahaaaaa. None there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just like to point out that as you can see by the almost universal tone taken towards them on this site, to the wife the OW isn’t a real person either, just a caricature. The wife’s perspective is also entirely self centered and distorted but she can’t hear it.


NP. You’re comparing a spouse who’s been betrayed to one who willingly engages with a married person? Boy oh boy.

No I’m comparing the myopia of one vs the myopia of the other. The moral judgment isn’t the point of the observation.

That is the most ridiculous argument.

To the betrayed: the OW is very real.

In fact, it’s that reality that blows up families and friendships and children’s lives.

To the OW in the affair (the wife doesn’t even know about her, remember?!?!!) - the kids and wife don’t exist or are an obstacle to overcome.

Unless you have been an OW, you don’t know what you are to her.

Unless she has talked to the OW.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just like to point out that as you can see by the almost universal tone taken towards them on this site, to the wife the OW isn’t a real person either, just a caricature. The wife’s perspective is also entirely self centered and distorted but she can’t hear it.


NP. You’re comparing a spouse who’s been betrayed to one who willingly engages with a married person? Boy oh boy.

No I’m comparing the myopia of one vs the myopia of the other. The moral judgment isn’t the point of the observation.

That is the most ridiculous argument.

To the betrayed: the OW is very real.

In fact, it’s that reality that blows up families and friendships and children’s lives.

To the OW in the affair (the wife doesn’t even know about her, remember?!?!!) - the kids and wife don’t exist or are an obstacle to overcome.

Unless you have been an OW, you don’t know what you are to her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously the person cheating is the one responsible to their spouse, but knowingly engaging with a married person is not doing the right thing.

During a low point I had two flings with men in relationships. I felt tremendous guilt. That feeling exists for a reason. It’s not the right thing to do!

Correct, but you have guilt and empathy. A lot of these sociopath, narcissists and borderline disordered people do not.

Because she is a real person. Who feels real remorse and real empathy for other real people and has apparently grown from the experience, all concepts the betrayed spouses in here cannot fathom. The OW is just a cartoon figure to them and they’re certain they know every malicious thought in her head but have no insight into their own limitations of perspective.