Anonymous
Post 01/31/2022 09:10     Subject: Half of British women reach age 30 without having a child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Have you seen their options? I get it


I am late twenties, single, and child-free. I am not single/child-free because I wanted to focus on my career, casually hookup, and party it up in my 20s. I always wanted to get married young and family is important to me. However, I have not found a quality partner in this area who is attractive to me and treats me well and shares my values. I think I would prefer to be alone than to be with a man who treats me poorly and whose character I don't respect.

I don't think women are the only part of this equation. My peers and I wish we had more decent options.

absolutely. Women have upped their game over the years. Many men... not so much. They think they should be able to get any attractive woman just because they have a pulse and a job. A woman doesn't want to marry a man-baby.


I don’t think most women have upped their game at all.

I think elite tier women have, yes

But your average flyover woman was WAY more attractive 60 years ago.

Men have dropped their game also — agreed.




As problematic as this post is, I agree somewhat. Not only because of weight - but also because of fakeness. Way too many Kardashian-type fake body parts and overly made up Instagram wannabe looks. People in the past were more naturally beautiful.

Speaking for myself, I’m conventionally attractive, but I think more by a modern standard than traditional beauty. I’m big into fitness and weightlifting. Not as traditionally feminine as women 60 years ago.


I’m sure you look great and amazonian but if you are under 5’7, the whole anglo/American gym weightlifting women trend just makes you look like a cartoon character.

Mainland euro women are always roasting how American women are “sporty”…and it’s not in a good way.




We should care about 'mainland euro' women opinion of American women because.......?????
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2022 09:07     Subject: Half of British women reach age 30 without having a child
Being a mother is just harder these days. 1) Most women have to work while still generally being the default parent; 2) Society frowns upon the "free range" parenting strategies of our own parents' generations; 3) Childcare and college expenses are astronomically high. Because women are much more financially independent these days, they can think strategically about when the time is right to transition to motherhood.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2022 08:41     Subject: Half of British women reach age 30 without having a child
Having babies used to be a change in status for women. Becoming a mother changed peoples perceptions of you. It was the pinnacle of womanhood. Even for royalty. Now with education, career and volunteering women can have status and a place in society without motherhood. And since having children is tough, ties you to a potentially unreliable partner and is expensive its not as desirable if there are other options. And in western societies there is a lot of unconscious weighting of those factors. Women want to be ready and in the right place to have children as opposed to that being the goal of their up to then life.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2022 08:35     Subject: Half of British women reach age 30 without having a child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Have you seen their options? I get it


I am late twenties, single, and child-free. I am not single/child-free because I wanted to focus on my career, casually hookup, and party it up in my 20s. I always wanted to get married young and family is important to me. However, I have not found a quality partner in this area who is attractive to me and treats me well and shares my values. I think I would prefer to be alone than to be with a man who treats me poorly and whose character I don't respect.

I don't think women are the only part of this equation. My peers and I wish we had more decent options.

absolutely. Women have upped their game over the years. Many men... not so much. They think they should be able to get any attractive woman just because they have a pulse and a job. A woman doesn't want to marry a man-baby.


I don’t think most women have upped their game at all.

I think elite tier women have, yes

But your average flyover woman was WAY more attractive 60 years ago.

Men have dropped their game also — agreed.




As problematic as this post is, I agree somewhat. Not only because of weight - but also because of fakeness. Way too many Kardashian-type fake body parts and overly made up Instagram wannabe looks. People in the past were more naturally beautiful.

Speaking for myself, I’m conventionally attractive, but I think more by a modern standard than traditional beauty. I’m big into fitness and weightlifting. Not as traditionally feminine as women 60 years ago.


I’m sure you look great and amazonian but if you are under 5’7, the whole anglo/American gym weightlifting women trend just makes you look like a cartoon character.

Mainland euro women are always roasting how American women are “sporty”…and it’s not in a good way.




No, we don't. We have other, more important things to worry about other than how much time American women spend in the gym and we've been celebrating athletic bodies since Surya Bonaly. We all wanted to be like her - European here.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2022 08:32     Subject: Re:Half of British women reach age 30 without having a child
Anonymous wrote:Is it because most British women are better educated and do more schooling than 4 years of undergraduate studies? I was 32 when I finished my formal education. Iff I had wanted to have children before age 30, it would have been doing part time studies and taking longer to finish my schooling.

No doubt that it continues to be a challenge to be have a career and be a parent as a woman. Not sure why this post is significant.

I think the British have the same problem that the US does -- more women than men getting college degrees.

https://www.bbc.com/news/education-36266753

Apparently, they need affirmative action for poor white boys, because poor black and Asian boys have a higher rate of college education than poor white boys.

Among white boys from disadvantaged families only about 10% will go to university - the lowest of any social or ethnic group.

Deprived boys from other ethnic backgrounds, such as black and Asian, are much more likely to go to university.

"That is why our recent university access guidance for the first time called for specific support for white boys from the poorest homes."


A college education means more to lower income people than middle income, and more so if you are not white. Given that the UK is like almost 80% white, it makes sense that white British women have a harder time finding partners with equal SES backgrounds.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2022 08:32     Subject: Half of British women reach age 30 without having a child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Have you seen their options? I get it


I am late twenties, single, and child-free. I am not single/child-free because I wanted to focus on my career, casually hookup, and party it up in my 20s. I always wanted to get married young and family is important to me. However, I have not found a quality partner in this area who is attractive to me and treats me well and shares my values. I think I would prefer to be alone than to be with a man who treats me poorly and whose character I don't respect.

I don't think women are the only part of this equation. My peers and I wish we had more decent options.

absolutely. Women have upped their game over the years. Many men... not so much. They think they should be able to get any attractive woman just because they have a pulse and a job. A woman doesn't want to marry a man-baby.


I don’t think most women have upped their game at all.

I think elite tier women have, yes

But your average flyover woman was WAY more attractive 60 years ago.

Men have dropped their game also — agreed.




As problematic as this post is, I agree somewhat. Not only because of weight - but also because of fakeness. Way too many Kardashian-type fake body parts and overly made up Instagram wannabe looks. People in the past were more naturally beautiful.

Speaking for myself, I’m conventionally attractive, but I think more by a modern standard than traditional beauty. I’m big into fitness and weightlifting. Not as traditionally feminine as women 60 years ago.


I’m sure you look great and amazonian but if you are under 5’7, the whole anglo/American gym weightlifting women trend just makes you look like a cartoon character.

Mainland euro women are always roasting how American women are “sporty”…and it’s not in a good way.




LOL. My wife is Spanish and her sisters and neices are all thin because they still smoke like chimneys and drink the equivalent of slim-fast instead of eating.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2022 08:29     Subject: Re:Half of British women reach age 30 without having a child
Anonymous wrote:Is it because most British women are better educated and do more schooling than 4 years of undergraduate studies? I was 32 when I finished my formal education. Iff I had wanted to have children before age 30, it would have been doing part time studies and taking longer to finish my schooling.

No doubt that it continues to be a challenge to be have a career and be a parent as a woman. Not sure why this post is significant.


Have you met British women?

“Better Educated” is not a term I would use to describe the median British woman.

Anonymous
Post 01/31/2022 08:29     Subject: Half of British women reach age 30 without having a child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I really don’t know anyone who had a child before 30. And I got married young. I had my first at 30 and was one of the youngest.


+1

Well, there was this girl in HS who dropped out. But everyone else who figured out how to use birth control waited until they were ready.



Imagine being smug about waiting until your 30s to have your first child. High probability you and/or your husband die before you experience the joy of grandchildren.


I had my first at 20, my second at 25. I thought I would be a young grandmother and here I am at 61 with no grandchildren and I am coming to the realization that I will probably not have grandchildren. There are no guarantees in life.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2022 08:28     Subject: Half of British women reach age 30 without having a child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Have you seen their options? I get it


I am late twenties, single, and child-free. I am not single/child-free because I wanted to focus on my career, casually hookup, and party it up in my 20s. I always wanted to get married young and family is important to me. However, I have not found a quality partner in this area who is attractive to me and treats me well and shares my values. I think I would prefer to be alone than to be with a man who treats me poorly and whose character I don't respect.

I don't think women are the only part of this equation. My peers and I wish we had more decent options.

absolutely. Women have upped their game over the years. Many men... not so much. They think they should be able to get any attractive woman just because they have a pulse and a job. A woman doesn't want to marry a man-baby.


I don’t think most women have upped their game at all.

I think elite tier women have, yes

But your average flyover woman was WAY more attractive 60 years ago.

Men have dropped their game also — agreed.




As problematic as this post is, I agree somewhat. Not only because of weight - but also because of fakeness. Way too many Kardashian-type fake body parts and overly made up Instagram wannabe looks. People in the past were more naturally beautiful.

Speaking for myself, I’m conventionally attractive, but I think more by a modern standard than traditional beauty. I’m big into fitness and weightlifting. Not as traditionally feminine as women 60 years ago.


I’m sure you look great and amazonian but if you are under 5’7, the whole anglo/American gym weightlifting women trend just makes you look like a cartoon character.

Mainland euro women are always roasting how American women are “sporty”…and it’s not in a good way.


Anonymous
Post 01/31/2022 08:21     Subject: Re:Half of British women reach age 30 without having a child
Is it because most British women are better educated and do more schooling than 4 years of undergraduate studies? I was 32 when I finished my formal education. Iff I had wanted to have children before age 30, it would have been doing part time studies and taking longer to finish my schooling.

No doubt that it continues to be a challenge to be have a career and be a parent as a woman. Not sure why this post is significant.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2022 08:15     Subject: Half of British women reach age 30 without having a child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Have you seen their options? I get it


I am late twenties, single, and child-free. I am not single/child-free because I wanted to focus on my career, casually hookup, and party it up in my 20s. I always wanted to get married young and family is important to me. However, I have not found a quality partner in this area who is attractive to me and treats me well and shares my values. I think I would prefer to be alone than to be with a man who treats me poorly and whose character I don't respect.

I don't think women are the only part of this equation. My peers and I wish we had more decent options.


Options cut both ways . I'm sure everything you wrote is felt by many men about you and your peers. Perhaps, you think of yourself as a great catch and that's your prerogative, are you at least willing to humbly consider the fact that, potential mates don't view you as a 'quality partner' either ?
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2022 07:59     Subject: Half of British women reach age 30 without having a child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Being a mother is literally THE most important job any woman can do. What other occupation contributes more to humanity than sustaining our species?



Too bad society treats mothers like dirt.


This is the unintended consequence of feminism and “women can do everything men can do.” Yes, women should be able to work and men should do half the housework. But it doesn’t actually work that way. My mom was a working mom in the 80’s (out of necessity not choice) and I saw what a raw deal it was. I was determined to be a SAHM or not at all and that’s what I did. I didn’t and don’t feel treated like dirt, but my only job for the last 15 years has been raising my children and running the house. It’s not actually a bad job if you don’t also have another job. I have two daughters and I will support any choice they make, but I will alert them to this reality.


Yeah, by any means please remain a SAHM because you sound painfully unintelligent. Not once has it occurred to you that, your ability to be a SAHM is contingent on your spouse's ability to not only remain employed but gainfully so ? What country do you live in ? Is there job safety in this country? You talk about being a SAHM as if having a spouse that can maintain gainful employment long enough to raise kids into adulthood is a fait accompli.
This country is full of families staring down at economic hardship precisely because like you, they thought whatever employment the spouse had was for life , until the layoffs, pink slips or even medical emergencies sent them into abyss .
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2022 07:50     Subject: Half of British women reach age 30 without having a child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Being a mother is literally THE most important job any woman can do. What other occupation contributes more to humanity than sustaining our species?



A lab scientist working on Covid or any number of diseases. Also climate change. Glad you think women are just walking incubators and child care workers.


If that’s what you got out of that post, I feel absolute pity for you.


Being a mother is not the most important job any woman can do. It is NOT a woman's job alone. There are fathers, aunts, uncles, neighbors, grandparents, church members, teachers, and community members who also act as "mothers." You don't get that child rearing is a community based activity, not some mantle a woman has because of her uterus. Birthing a child does not make a woman a mother and there are more ways women can contribute to society. In fact, wasn't the person behind the covid vaccine a woman? I am sure she will tell her kids about her achievements one day. Because women are NOT one thing. And if you don't get that, you can crawl into your hole.


For most women, motherhood is easily the most important accomplishment of their lives. It's hard to deny that women seem to have a biological hardwiring that predisposes them to be the primary childcarer. It does not mean having children should be the only focus of a woman's life, and fathers should be heavily involved too. But, frankly, the whole idea a woman can give birth and then expect a whole "village" to jump in to help raise the children is both clueless and impractical. Most people have very limited interest in other people's children. A teacher or neighbor can never replace a mother. Even aunts and uncles are not the same as your own parents. The nuclear family model is one that provides the most support, and going from all sociological studies in modern nations, nothing can ever come close to replacing the strong support of a nuclear family arrangement - assuming, of course, it is a good one, and that is not always the case.

The delayed births in Western nations seems to be correlated with rising cost of living more than anything else.


You just described social changes resulting from the industrial revolution, which began in 1750. Humans have been around much longer than that. Communal arrangements were the norm for millennia.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2022 05:59     Subject: Half of British women reach age 30 without having a child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I really don’t know anyone who had a child before 30. And I got married young. I had my first at 30 and was one of the youngest.


+1

Well, there was this girl in HS who dropped out. But everyone else who figured out how to use birth control waited until they were ready.



Imagine being smug about waiting until your 30s to have your first child. High probability you and/or your husband die before you experience the joy of grandchildren.


“Smug”? It’s called personal responsibility. We had kids when we were ready.

We have friends who chose to never have kids. That’s another option too.

Anonymous
Post 01/31/2022 05:53     Subject: Half of British women reach age 30 without having a child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I really don’t know anyone who had a child before 30. And I got married young. I had my first at 30 and was one of the youngest.


+1

Well, there was this girl in HS who dropped out. But everyone else who figured out how to use birth control waited until they were ready.



Imagine being smug about waiting until your 30s to have your first child. High probability you and/or your husband die before you experience the joy of grandchildren.


Do you really know many women who had kids before the age of 30? I don't. I would be a 61 if my oldest had a child at 30. I'm willing to roll the dice.