Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We got into a fight a few days ago because I booked Reagan instead of Dulles. He refused to come along on our family vacation and today he didn't even call.

He's cheating. Sorry

+1

I usually don’t jump to this conclusion, but yes. I hope you have a job and your own money, because not spending Christmas with you and your kids is an escalation. Get your ducks in a row if they aren’t already.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for horse lady—NP—I’m still not getting why this is a present from your husband. Is it his money? If you’re using your money to buy something that you’ve picked out for yourself, isn’t that a present from you to you? That’s totally okay—I buy myself presents every Christmas! But I don’t tell people they are from my husband. I’m just trying to understand what makes it a present from your husband instead of f just something you bought for yourself.

Well, I have 4 horses already of various older ages, 1 already retired. I was sorrowfully talking about another one of mine getting older and retiring soon (he needs to step down from his current level due to arthritis), and DH said, “well, why don’t you find a really nice baby to replace him, and I’ll buy it for you for Christmas!” That SEEMS like a gift to me? It was a lovely surprise as an additional horse is a large ongoing expense, and I hadn’t even considered it.

I find it very weird how fixated some of you are on having something under the tree in wrapping paper as the only “gift” that constitutes a gift.

No one is fixated on this.
Honestly, I find it even more odd if you spend tons of time and money picking out a present for yourself that you wrap up and put under the tree, pretending it’s from your husband.

Your husband didn’t get you anything. It’s fine. Why are you so caught up in saying this was a gift from him?

Why are you so caught up in saying it isn’t a gift?! He literally paid for this horse and gave it to me. What is wrong with you?

You said that you bought it yourself earlier in the thread.

IDK. I buy my own gift, as I am very particular in what I like. It never makes it under the tree, especially because this year it’s a very well bred Dutch Warmblood foal and won’t fit!

Obviously I meant that I select my gift. You are fixated on the concept that me selecting my gift makes it not a gift. Is this because you feel strongly about women bearing the brunt of the “mental load”? If so, I am sorry that is the case in your family. DH and I split the mental load pretty well so maybe this isn’t a trigger for me like it seems to be for you.

It’s not a trigger for me. I’m not the one buying myself things and pretending my husband gets them for me.

Hmm, well, I suppose your problem is more about just being a sad, pathetic loser who finds happiness by sh$tting on other people’s happiness over the Internet! Good luck with that!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for horse lady—NP—I’m still not getting why this is a present from your husband. Is it his money? If you’re using your money to buy something that you’ve picked out for yourself, isn’t that a present from you to you? That’s totally okay—I buy myself presents every Christmas! But I don’t tell people they are from my husband. I’m just trying to understand what makes it a present from your husband instead of f just something you bought for yourself.

Well, I have 4 horses already of various older ages, 1 already retired. I was sorrowfully talking about another one of mine getting older and retiring soon (he needs to step down from his current level due to arthritis), and DH said, “well, why don’t you find a really nice baby to replace him, and I’ll buy it for you for Christmas!” That SEEMS like a gift to me? It was a lovely surprise as an additional horse is a large ongoing expense, and I hadn’t even considered it.

I find it very weird how fixated some of you are on having something under the tree in wrapping paper as the only “gift” that constitutes a gift.

No one is fixated on this.
Honestly, I find it even more odd if you spend tons of time and money picking out a present for yourself that you wrap up and put under the tree, pretending it’s from your husband.

Your husband didn’t get you anything. It’s fine. Why are you so caught up in saying this was a gift from him?

Why are you so caught up in saying it isn’t a gift?! He literally paid for this horse and gave it to me. What is wrong with you?

NP. I'm trying to keep up. You "bought it for yourself" by picking it out AND he "bought it for you" by paying for it with money that is joint money?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for horse lady—NP—I’m still not getting why this is a present from your husband. Is it his money? If you’re using your money to buy something that you’ve picked out for yourself, isn’t that a present from you to you? That’s totally okay—I buy myself presents every Christmas! But I don’t tell people they are from my husband. I’m just trying to understand what makes it a present from your husband instead of f just something you bought for yourself.

Well, I have 4 horses already of various older ages, 1 already retired. I was sorrowfully talking about another one of mine getting older and retiring soon (he needs to step down from his current level due to arthritis), and DH said, “well, why don’t you find a really nice baby to replace him, and I’ll buy it for you for Christmas!” That SEEMS like a gift to me? It was a lovely surprise as an additional horse is a large ongoing expense, and I hadn’t even considered it.

I find it very weird how fixated some of you are on having something under the tree in wrapping paper as the only “gift” that constitutes a gift.

No one is fixated on this.
Honestly, I find it even more odd if you spend tons of time and money picking out a present for yourself that you wrap up and put under the tree, pretending it’s from your husband.

Your husband didn’t get you anything. It’s fine. Why are you so caught up in saying this was a gift from him?

Why are you so caught up in saying it isn’t a gift?! He literally paid for this horse and gave it to me. What is wrong with you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for horse lady—NP—I’m still not getting why this is a present from your husband. Is it his money? If you’re using your money to buy something that you’ve picked out for yourself, isn’t that a present from you to you? That’s totally okay—I buy myself presents every Christmas! But I don’t tell people they are from my husband. I’m just trying to understand what makes it a present from your husband instead of f just something you bought for yourself.

Well, I have 4 horses already of various older ages, 1 already retired. I was sorrowfully talking about another one of mine getting older and retiring soon (he needs to step down from his current level due to arthritis), and DH said, “well, why don’t you find a really nice baby to replace him, and I’ll buy it for you for Christmas!” That SEEMS like a gift to me? It was a lovely surprise as an additional horse is a large ongoing expense, and I hadn’t even considered it.

I find it very weird how fixated some of you are on having something under the tree in wrapping paper as the only “gift” that constitutes a gift.

No one is fixated on this.
Honestly, I find it even more odd if you spend tons of time and money picking out a present for yourself that you wrap up and put under the tree, pretending it’s from your husband.

Your husband didn’t get you anything. It’s fine. Why are you so caught up in saying this was a gift from him?

Why are you so caught up in saying it isn’t a gift?! He literally paid for this horse and gave it to me. What is wrong with you?

You said that you bought it yourself earlier in the thread.

IDK. I buy my own gift, as I am very particular in what I like. It never makes it under the tree, especially because this year it’s a very well bred Dutch Warmblood foal and won’t fit!

Obviously I meant that I select my gift. You are fixated on the concept that me selecting my gift makes it not a gift. Is this because you feel strongly about women bearing the brunt of the “mental load”? If so, I am sorry that is the case in your family. DH and I split the mental load pretty well so maybe this isn’t a trigger for me like it seems to be for you.

It’s not a trigger for me. I’m not the one buying myself things and pretending my husband gets them for me.

Anonymous wrote:DH still has no job after nearly a year. Disappointed is an understatement.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for horse lady—NP—I’m still not getting why this is a present from your husband. Is it his money? If you’re using your money to buy something that you’ve picked out for yourself, isn’t that a present from you to you? That’s totally okay—I buy myself presents every Christmas! But I don’t tell people they are from my husband. I’m just trying to understand what makes it a present from your husband instead of f just something you bought for yourself.

Well, I have 4 horses already of various older ages, 1 already retired. I was sorrowfully talking about another one of mine getting older and retiring soon (he needs to step down from his current level due to arthritis), and DH said, “well, why don’t you find a really nice baby to replace him, and I’ll buy it for you for Christmas!” That SEEMS like a gift to me? It was a lovely surprise as an additional horse is a large ongoing expense, and I hadn’t even considered it.

I find it very weird how fixated some of you are on having something under the tree in wrapping paper as the only “gift” that constitutes a gift.

No one is fixated on this.
Honestly, I find it even more odd if you spend tons of time and money picking out a present for yourself that you wrap up and put under the tree, pretending it’s from your husband.

Your husband didn’t get you anything. It’s fine. Why are you so caught up in saying this was a gift from him?

Why are you so caught up in saying it isn’t a gift?! He literally paid for this horse and gave it to me. What is wrong with you?

You said that you bought it yourself earlier in the thread.

IDK. I buy my own gift, as I am very particular in what I like. It never makes it under the tree, especially because this year it’s a very well bred Dutch Warmblood foal and won’t fit!

Obviously I meant that I select my gift. You are fixated on the concept that me selecting my gift makes it not a gift. Is this because you feel strongly about women bearing the brunt of the “mental load”? If so, I am sorry that is the case in your family. DH and I split the mental load pretty well so maybe this isn’t a trigger for me like it seems to be for you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for horse lady—NP—I’m still not getting why this is a present from your husband. Is it his money? If you’re using your money to buy something that you’ve picked out for yourself, isn’t that a present from you to you? That’s totally okay—I buy myself presents every Christmas! But I don’t tell people they are from my husband. I’m just trying to understand what makes it a present from your husband instead of f just something you bought for yourself.

Well, I have 4 horses already of various older ages, 1 already retired. I was sorrowfully talking about another one of mine getting older and retiring soon (he needs to step down from his current level due to arthritis), and DH said, “well, why don’t you find a really nice baby to replace him, and I’ll buy it for you for Christmas!” That SEEMS like a gift to me? It was a lovely surprise as an additional horse is a large ongoing expense, and I hadn’t even considered it.

I find it very weird how fixated some of you are on having something under the tree in wrapping paper as the only “gift” that constitutes a gift.

No one is fixated on this.
Honestly, I find it even more odd if you spend tons of time and money picking out a present for yourself that you wrap up and put under the tree, pretending it’s from your husband.

Your husband didn’t get you anything. It’s fine. Why are you so caught up in saying this was a gift from him?

Why are you so caught up in saying it isn’t a gift?! He literally paid for this horse and gave it to me. What is wrong with you?

You said that you bought it yourself earlier in the thread.

IDK. I buy my own gift, as I am very particular in what I like. It never makes it under the tree, especially because this year it’s a very well bred Dutch Warmblood foal and won’t fit!