Anonymous wrote:If you care about your family and your eternal salvation, you choose your child. If you care about appearances, you choose your church. Simple as that. God didn’t send his own child to suffer and die to save humanity just so you could sacrifice your child for some hackneyed English translation of what one of his followers said over two thousand years ago.

Then again, you could leave religious beliefs out of it entirely and just do what is obviously the right thing to do as a parent -- and that is to support your child.

I belong to a church that believes lying is a sin. I have a teenager who lies sometimes. He still knows that I love and accept him even if I don’t approve of everything he does.

How is this different?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just don't get how anyone could believe gay relationships are sinful or all about lust if you've actually known someone who was gay. My mom's brother recently lost a long battle to cancer. Despite the societal condemnation, they'd been together since the 1970s and his husband took care of him during his illness.

If you look at that loving relationship and think "sinful", I feel deeply sorry for you.

No one thinks that loving relationships are sinful. It’s only the sex.

Just like living together without being married is viewed as sinful.
Only married people are allowed to have sex. Everyone else must be celibate

Silly.

Didn't you know that?
All religions preach the same

Silly.

Plenty of other churches (mostly mainline protestant) who worship God and Jesus but would also allow you to love your child.

Would Jesus want you to reject your child?

If you care about your family and your eternal salvation, you choose your child. If you care about appearances, you choose your church. Simple as that. God didn’t send his own child to suffer and die to save humanity just so you could sacrifice your child for some hackneyed English translation of what one of his followers said over two thousand years ago.

I would absolutely leave that church. It's much more important for my child to know that they are loved and accepted, and no matter how much you try to walk the line, you can't do that while embracing a church that teaches your child is sinning.

I went to that kind of church in my early 20s until I realized I couldn't accept their teachings any more. I spent my 20s getting to know "non church" folks and marveling at how loving they were. DH and I were the token straight couple in a fun group of gay couples for a while.

When we had kids in our 30s, I wanted to go back to church . . . a church that would accept everyone. I chose a PC(USA) church that performs gay weddings (this was prior to the law being changed . . . on the day VA legalized gay marriage, our pastor went down to the courthouse steps to marry anyone who asked).

Recently my 9 year old asked me if it's possible to be gay then straight then gay again. I said, well, I think when you go to a church that teaches that being gay is a sin, you might think you have changed from gay to straight, when really you are just trying to fit in with your church; that's why I picked a church for us that would never reject anyone.

I know there's a loss in losing a church home. You've made a commitment to something bigger than yourself. But you can't have your cake and eat it too -- you can't tell your child that you accept them unconditionally while you remain committed to a church body that doesn't.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just don't get how anyone could believe gay relationships are sinful or all about lust if you've actually known someone who was gay. My mom's brother recently lost a long battle to cancer. Despite the societal condemnation, they'd been together since the 1970s and his husband took care of him during his illness.

If you look at that loving relationship and think "sinful", I feel deeply sorry for you.

No one thinks that loving relationships are sinful. It’s only the sex.

Just like living together without being married is viewed as sinful.
Only married people are allowed to have sex. Everyone else must be celibate

Silly.

Didn't you know that?
All religions preach the same

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just don't get how anyone could believe gay relationships are sinful or all about lust if you've actually known someone who was gay. My mom's brother recently lost a long battle to cancer. Despite the societal condemnation, they'd been together since the 1970s and his husband took care of him during his illness.

If you look at that loving relationship and think "sinful", I feel deeply sorry for you.

No one thinks that loving relationships are sinful. It’s only the sex.

Just like living together without being married is viewed as sinful.
Only married people are allowed to have sex. Everyone else must be celibate

Silly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just don't get how anyone could believe gay relationships are sinful or all about lust if you've actually known someone who was gay. My mom's brother recently lost a long battle to cancer. Despite the societal condemnation, they'd been together since the 1970s and his husband took care of him during his illness.

If you look at that loving relationship and think "sinful", I feel deeply sorry for you.

No one thinks that loving relationships are sinful. It’s only the sex.

Just like living together without being married is viewed as sinful.
Only married people are allowed to have sex. Everyone else must be celibate

Except, of course, if you're a priest who likes to prey on young boys. Your church will look the other way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just don't get how anyone could believe gay relationships are sinful or all about lust if you've actually known someone who was gay. My mom's brother recently lost a long battle to cancer. Despite the societal condemnation, they'd been together since the 1970s and his husband took care of him during his illness.

If you look at that loving relationship and think "sinful", I feel deeply sorry for you.

No one thinks that loving relationships are sinful. It’s only the sex.

Just like living together without being married is viewed as sinful.
Only married people are allowed to have sex. Everyone else must be celibate

Anonymous wrote:I just don't get how anyone could believe gay relationships are sinful or all about lust if you've actually known someone who was gay. My mom's brother recently lost a long battle to cancer. Despite the societal condemnation, they'd been together since the 1970s and his husband took care of him during his illness.

If you look at that loving relationship and think "sinful", I feel deeply sorry for you.

No one thinks that loving relationships are sinful. It’s only the sex.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Church doctrine is not the Word of God, and I maintain the Bible is not a black-and-white instruction manual of "dos" and "don'ts." I left a church whose doctrine was exclusionary and rooted in 20 centuries of fear -- fear of losing power. I joined a church whose doctrine is inclusionary and recognizes that God -- above all else -- is love. Not "love" in a rom-com or sappy sense, but "love" as God's continuous acceptance and ongoing presence through the peaks and valleys of one's life.

Have you actually read the Bible? God loves us all and continues to love us though we sin. But part of His love is to teach, discipline, chasten and expect us to "sin no more." It is great for churches to be inclusive. It is not great for them to pretend that God doesn't care how we behave.

God said, "If you love me, keep my commandments."

People have many different experiences and understandings of God. Your experience and understanding is just one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are not our kids. We can love them and still have our own beliefs. We can honor what they do good in the world and caution against other activities but once they are adults they are responsible for their own choices and saving their own soul.

You totally missed the point.

You take your 10 yo gay child to a service that says they are going to he!!?

What churches actually have a service that talks about this topic? Southern Evangelicals?

I just don't get how anyone could believe gay relationships are sinful or all about lust if you've actually known someone who was gay. My mom's brother recently lost a long battle to cancer. Despite the societal condemnation, they'd been together since the 1970s and his husband took care of him during his illness.

If you look at that loving relationship and think "sinful", I feel deeply sorry for you.

Anonymous wrote:Church doctrine is not the Word of God, and I maintain the Bible is not a black-and-white instruction manual of "dos" and "don'ts." I left a church whose doctrine was exclusionary and rooted in 20 centuries of fear -- fear of losing power. I joined a church whose doctrine is inclusionary and recognizes that God -- above all else -- is love. Not "love" in a rom-com or sappy sense, but "love" as God's continuous acceptance and ongoing presence through the peaks and valleys of one's life.

Have you actually read the Bible? God loves us all and continues to love us though we sin. But part of His love is to teach, discipline, chasten and expect us to "sin no more." It is great for churches to be inclusive. It is not great for them to pretend that God doesn't care how we behave.

God said, "If you love me, keep my commandments."