Anonymous wrote:Yep, my mother, now 80, has never once talked about a person without a comment on their race, apparel, accent... anything that might help slot the person into a social hierarchy that is very, very important to her. Appearance/ looks by itself isn't as important, as long as they have other qualifiers.

Yep, my mom does the same thing, mid-70s. It’s embarrassing to listen to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my mother and MIL do this, but not as blatantly as yours. That generation was raised to believe a woman's appearance was her stock in trade.

Younger generations are worse. Previous generations were told their looks were important, the younger generation seem to have looks and sex appeal as important. Really with IG and Fakebook its way worse now than ever before.

You are incorrect. I'm a gen Xer with kids and the young people's idea of beauty is much much more diverse. They understand and appreciate that beauty comes in all colors and sizes.

Agree w this.

Another Gen Xer with teen daughters and I also agree.

My mil does, mostly weight. I find it very triggering because I am a size 6 and know that to her it's enormous and disgusting so I hate being around her. She is positively disgusted by anyone heavy.

“Big girl” is my mom’s phrase for any girl or woman of any age who is larger than a size four. Just recently on a family vacation: “big girls didn’t wear bikinis when I was their age” about a couple of teenagers who looked perfectly fine and normal in their suits. Or “I met Tracy’s [her hairdresser] daughter yesterday. She’s a big girl” Um, okay?

Anonymous wrote:It is just that these women are shallow and intellectually limited. If someone starts out that way they frequently end up that way. It's not about age, it's about inherent limitations.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this because I'd find it immensely boring. It could be worse though. She doesn't sound like a bigot.

The reality is that men select wives based on looks. Therefore it is quite rational for women to focus significant energy on appearances.

My fat father in his 80s comments on everyone’s weight. He comes from a family of fatties, so maybe that’s why.

Yep, my mother, now 80, has never once talked about a person without a comment on their race, apparel, accent... anything that might help slot the person into a social hierarchy that is very, very important to her. Appearance/ looks by itself isn't as important, as long as they have other qualifiers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my mother and MIL do this, but not as blatantly as yours. That generation was raised to believe a woman's appearance was her stock in trade.

Younger generations are worse. Previous generations were told their looks were important, the younger generation seem to have looks and sex appeal as important. Really with IG and Fakebook its way worse now than ever before.

You are incorrect. I'm a gen Xer with kids and the young people's idea of beauty is much much more diverse. They understand and appreciate that beauty comes in all colors and sizes.

Agree w this.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, my mom did this until the day she died. In fact her last words to me were insulting the shoes I was wearing at the time.

This will totally be my mother.
If I bother to flat iron my hair "your hair could use a good trim". If it's in a ponytail "your hair is a mess. Let me brush it "(with her dollar store plastic brush).
If my nails are done "it's not good for your nails to have polish on them all the time." If they aren't "your nails look like you've been biting them again." If I wear heels "you're going to get bunions from those shoes." If I wear flats "you have such short legs. I always had beautiful long legs. You must have got that from Dads side of the family."

My aunt always dissects people's individual features. I believe it stems from her own anxieties about her looks--at 80 years old, she's still either crowing about or lamenting her weight. I try to tune it out.

No, my mom never did that. She would've been 75 now.

Yes, my mom did this until the day she died. In fact her last words to me were insulting the shoes I was wearing at the time.

Yes, mine does. Or at least did in front of me. One day I told her she was hardly a Marilyn Monroe herself and she was never a beauty in her youth. It felt sooooo good! I don't care about her feelings, she drove me to an eating disorder when I was younger.

They are all the TAB and VirginiaSlims generation.

I don't think this is limited by generation. Most women lock in on a woman's appearance and make judgements accordingly.