Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s weird haha im a millennial so maybe it’s a generational thing.
Are you only doing it for your husband? Or is it a self care prep to be with adults kind of a thing? What if you have a crappy day do you still feel the need to do it?

OP here I’m 32 so I don’t really think it’s generational. If I was going out to run errands and not in a hurry or meeting with another adult I’d probably get ready in the same way. If I was feeling really sick I wouldn’t do it and there are of course times when I don’t have the time and I don’t give it any thought. The whole “freshening up” process probably takes 2 min so it’s not that involved.

You would do this: "maybe changing into something a little more comfortable but more revealing than my daytime outfit (short shorts, cropped tank, low cut v neck etc)" when meeting with another adult?

Anonymous wrote:I work in a different time zone and don’t get ready until about 3pm every day, so DH benefits from that. I wouldn’t do it for him though, especially not putting on short shorts and crop tops. I’m 32, not 22.

I don’t get ready for DH, but I might start. I do wear outfits like what OP described. Cropped tops with high waisted yoga pants and shorts with a tee shirt. Longline bras with leggings look good even if you’re not 22. No need to wear slacks, a frumpy blouse and a blazer everyday just because you aren’t in your 20s.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s weird. Your DH doesn’t freshen up for you.

You don't know that. At all.

I comb my hair, and pop a mint before I get home to see DW. Make sure my dress shirt is tucked properly, etc. I want to look good for her. I want her to stay attracted to me.

And not gonna lie, sometimes, on the weekends, if we're going casual (just in a t-shirt), I'll bang out 100 push-ups to try to get a little pump to look better in the shirt.

+1 from a long-married woman. People like the PP saying "Your DH doesn't freshen up for you" have never actually known a guy who was thoughtful like you and like my DH.

My DH wears suits every single day to work (when he goes to the office) and though he's no clothes horse, he always takes a second to tighten and fix his tie (he loosens it a lot, he doesn't love them), adjust his shirt, button his jacket, run his hand over his hair before he comes in the door. I know he does that before he leaves the office to see other people too! But the fact he still does it reflexively before walking in his own door tells me he wants to present himself a certain way when we first meet each evening. It's his reflex but it's old-fashioned and lovely. It makes me want to remove that tie and jacket very quickly, too. He is aware of this.

Your husband is a lucky guy.

Anonymous wrote:That’s weird haha im a millennial so maybe it’s a generational thing.
Are you only doing it for your husband? Or is it a self care prep to be with adults kind of a thing? What if you have a crappy day do you still feel the need to do it?

NP here. Sometimes when I know I'm going to have a difficult day I dress up, not down (granted, that's in the morning). PP I don't know how you define self care. I find that to be a tricky phrase.

I do the same, OP. We have been married for 33 years.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I do the same and I work FT (from home). It's healthy and wonderful! It's wayyyy too common in this country for women to resign themselves to "just a mom" roles after having kids and forget their marriage and their looks. Good for you.

This. You cannot feel good about yourself if you're wearing oversized sweatpants covered in spit up.

Anonymous wrote:Abnormal in the sense that I doubt many women under 50 do something like this. But not abnormal in the sense that it's bad or wrong or unfeminist or anything. Just not what most people do.

Uhm, what? Who do you think led the way for the rights and changes you are currently enjoying? Women over 50. Get over yourself.

Anonymous wrote:If you do this, the Patriarchy wins.

(For real though, it's not normal, but it's nice. Hope your husband appreciates you.)

I should have said it's not "common." The term "normal" could be interpreted as a value judgment which I was not trying to make.

If you do this, the Patriarchy wins.

(For real though, it's not normal, but it's nice. Hope your husband appreciates you.)

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s weird. Your DH doesn’t freshen up for you.

You don't know that. At all.

I comb my hair, and pop a mint before I get home to see DW. Make sure my dress shirt is tucked properly, etc. I want to look good for her. I want her to stay attracted to me.

And not gonna lie, sometimes, on the weekends, if we're going casual (just in a t-shirt), I'll bang out 100 push-ups to try to get a little pump to look better in the shirt.

I think it is super sweet. If only my DH would do that for me.

I work in a different time zone and don’t get ready until about 3pm every day, so DH benefits from that. I wouldn’t do it for him though, especially not putting on short shorts and crop tops. I’m 32, not 22.

Old fashioned I guess. But nice. Hope he appreciates you.

My husband works from home so there is no coming home and no I do not do bedtime in a crop top.