Did you not know this prior to marriage?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s sad how many people give up on their own family and choose divorce. There really is truth in the saying “Men sacrifice their happiness for their family, women sacrifice their family for their happiness.”

Not an old saying. No one says this.

lol. I’ve literally never ever ever heard this saying. NEVER.

Self-pitying guys at the club, getting drunk after golf and saying their wives don't know how long it takes to play a round so why hurry home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s sad how many people give up on their own family and choose divorce. There really is truth in the saying “Men sacrifice their happiness for their family, women sacrifice their family for their happiness.”

Not an old saying. No one says this.

lol. I’ve literally never ever ever heard this saying. NEVER.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe just accept the fact that the world has all different types of people and you can’t control what others think or do. Not everyone has to agree with you. People can have views you find abhorrent… you’re allowed to disagree. Even about *gasp* race.

So you're cool with thinking that blacks are an inferior race?

I’m not “cool” with it. I am just realistic enough to know it exists. You have to accept things you cannot control - accept doesn’t mean agree with or promote. But you do need to accept that people have a range of beliefs and opinions that do not align with your own and there’s nothing you can do about it.

The things you can control:

1. Whether you go to the family events or not
2. Whether you remain married

You also had the choice to not get married when you found out about said “trash bags”. But you decided to for one reason or another.

If you choose to do those things a certain way that are within your control, you have to accept the things you can’t control.

The idea that you must speak up in some performative way any time someone violates a modern code of ethics is so silly.

How does it feel to live your life being a p*ssy?

OP, I think you need to separate the classist issues from the criminal/moral ones.

Stealing from your elderly mother and driving drunk are just not ok.

Racist comments or sexual harassment also unacceptable.

Addiction issues are terrible and make relationships a problem. Though whether they are a moral failing is less clear.

Their ignorance and taste for fast food might be unlikable but it's hard to be convinced it is in the same boat. Conflating them will make you look like a snob.

I'd draw a firm line at condoning criminal or amoral behavior and try to minimize contact and others at things that aren't your thing.

Either way, you can't change people.

Most of my in laws aren't bad, so I will say that is really horrible and unpleasant to deal with. I hope you can stay away from as much as possible. DH has a part of the family that is truly awful to me, but happily also to him so we minimize contact. I would be miserable hanging out with them all the time.

How does your DH feel?