I grew up in a family with two kids so that always seemed like the number I had in mind. Never wanted more.

I think we need a spin-off thread called "if you can't understand or accept why people make different life decisions than you...why?

Feel like there has been about a thousand stupid debate threads about people's life choices and it just boils down to the fact that some people are going to make different life choices than you and that's okay.

Because only one spouse wanted more than 2.

Anonymous wrote:I am one of two and never wanted a third. I have a low tolerance of chaos and the more kids you have, the more chaotic life becomes.

As an aside, I have WASPy family members who believe only animals are meant to have over two kids and look down on people with large families.

That’s because large families used to be code word for catholic

Why would I want any at all?

I wanted more (we have two) but we could not responsibly afford to have more. And now that we're shelling out for college, I'm really happy to only have two. But ymmv.

Living through a global pandemic with a young child.

Because being the kind of parent my kid deserves needs rest, resources and time. I’m not selfish enough to deprive her of that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t want more than two. We have replaced ourselves, that’s more than enough.

This.

The definition of narcissism.

More narcissistic than thinking the world needs 3+ of your genetic offspring? Nah.

Because people on DCUM who have three kids always seem so unhappy and stressed out with their lives, as if they had NO IDEA how hard it was going to be. Pass.

Because a kid costs >$250,000 to raise.

Energy and cost.

We were 34 when married, 36 with 1st and 39 with 2nd. I was going to set the limit at age 40 for a kid and we got our boy and girl so done. A personal decision to be sure as I just did not want to go through the infant stages of not sleeping and dealing with childcare with a 3rd kid post age 40.

Money has A LOT to do with it of course. If I were made out of money and knew I could get help for as long as I wanted I think I'd consider it. If I had family support, maybe as well.

In my reality, there was no way we would have a 3rd knowing what we knew with 2. Hell, if the first had been a girl and had I more family (aka cousins for my kid) I likely would have stopped at 1 kid as DH wanted to do. The amount of money it takes now is soul crushing. To live in UMC neighborhood and to be able to find preK and childcare is outrageous. I'm not sure how anyone has more than 1 kid who doesn't have bank. I say that as a very successful working mom - and with 2 kids now tween/teen aged - it's just as much time and costs with activities, carpools, school worries/mental health, etc.

The other thing is - if your kid as any learning disabilities it doesn't come out till they are older. So until age 10, both my kids were "easy." But nowadays, with one having ADHD and dyslexia and the other anxiety, I say thank god we don't have 3.

If you don't have a village, having kids is super hard. Looking back, if we had 3, we'd be dead!!! LOL

Anonymous wrote:2 was for zero population growth

In 2002 I no idea how sh*tty things would be in 2024. I feel so badly for bringing my kids into this.

What? Turn off the news. We’ve never lived in a safer or more affluent time. Really.

Because I have a career I enjoy and feel complete with our family of 4. I appreciate that others may want big families. I am not one of those people and most of the women I know with 3 kids or more are stay at home moms or if they work out of the home they are quite stressed.

It’s pretty simple. I couldn’t be the mom I want to be to my kids and the wife I want to be to my husband with more than two kids. That’s not to say others can’t do it, I just couldn’t. The end.