I find it the most challenging age. For about a 6 month stretch they just seem like a completely different kid. You are doing something right that he is keeping it together with others, but is trusting you will be there as he works through this stage. It gets better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:sometimes with spanking

OP here - I did smack his butt for the first time over the weekend when he got out of control. One swat. He hit me back.

Of course he did, you just showed him that hitting someone is a good way to communicate your frustration with him. He learned really quick.

Sounds like a YOU problem not an age problem

Most 4 year olds are delightful. You can reason with them at that age.

Anonymous wrote:sometimes with spanking

OP here - I did smack his butt for the first time over the weekend when he got out of control. One swat. He hit me back.

Every 6 months, they change when they are young. If it has been going on for a while, maybe you are near the end of this phase!

sometimes with spanking

4 was the hardest age with my twins. When they turned 5 they completely changed into reasonable kids.

Early pre-school. Well worth the money.

I’ve often commented / joked to friends and family that no one warned me about 4. I was prepped for terrible twos, and a threenager, and never really got one. Then, 4 hit and I was like “this was when you said it gets better, and NOW it all starts?”

She seems to be getting a bit better after 4.5, but it’s more wavy than consistent, if that makes any sense.

It gets better. For us, 3.5-4 and 4.5-5 were really hard. 5 and up have been good (DD is 8).

Honestly, the best thing is to remember that he is really really little. He is so young and not in control of all his big emotions. You'll feel like he is doing things deliberately to you, but actually it's emotions happening to him and it's scary and upsetting for him too. DD used to get SO ANGRY and you could see it scared her, even as she was being awful. Try not to yell and punish.

This is my DD. She’s my third kid so it took be by surprise. She’s pretty advanced in a lot of ways, verbally and physically. So I think it’s easy to forget she’s a little kid still. She gets very tired and still could use a nap but usually can’t fall asleep. Sometimes she falls asleep at like 5-6 pm watching tv. So if your kid is well fed then I’d assume he’s just tired.

NP sounds like mine. I just posted on the 3.5 year old thread. Mine just turned 4 and sounds very similar. He’s definitely better than at 3-3.5 but still very challenging.

But I think they also know who they can get away with acting up around. My DH talks tough and threatens discipline but rarely follows though so my son knows he can push the limits a little further because and DH will eventually cave.

Ive always been the stricter parent and not fazed by his demands and meltdowns so he seems to behave better with me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son turns four in a couple of weeks. He has become SO unpleasant. Rude, disrespectful, ignores me, does whatever he wants, hits and screams when he's mad. But he's an angel at school (we're a couple of days into PK4 in DCPS, and around his grandparents and others he is THE most charming gentleman you ever met. Of course he has his sweet moments with me but the bad times are just torture. Please tell me it gets better.

I think mine got better the moment he turned 4. Now 5 is even better, 5 is a dream.

My child is/was impulsive, which can come across as rude/not listening/etc.

OP here - he is very much in control; deliberately ignores us all the time. Also, I forgot to mention all the whining and crying.

Anonymous wrote:My son turns four in a couple of weeks. He has become SO unpleasant. Rude, disrespectful, ignores me, does whatever he wants, hits and screams when he's mad. But he's an angel at school (we're a couple of days into PK4 in DCPS, and around his grandparents and others he is THE most charming gentleman you ever met. Of course he has his sweet moments with me but the bad times are just torture. Please tell me it gets better.

I think mine got better the moment he turned 4. Now 5 is even better, 5 is a dream.

My child is/was impulsive, which can come across as rude/not listening/etc.

My son turns four in a couple of weeks. He has become SO unpleasant. Rude, disrespectful, ignores me, does whatever he wants, hits and screams when he's mad. But he's an angel at school (we're a couple of days into PK4 in DCPS, and around his grandparents and others he is THE most charming gentleman you ever met. Of course he has his sweet moments with me but the bad times are just torture. Please tell me it gets better.