Nothing happened. If it did you bet EVERYONE there would remember to never mention he was there.

Wow. That’s not ok. I would be livid. It would be one thing is she went out with girlfriends and it turned it the ex boyfriend was there, and she texted you at the bar and invited you to join since it was no longer all women. Or even if she came home that night and admitted it turned out the ex boyfriend was there. But to lie, and then not come home that night....wth? Nope. Not ok.

Not OK. Odds are high she slept with him that night. But what are you going to do finding out about an affair 5 years late?

Anonymous wrote:She was out some place five years ago for drinks with a big group and an ex was there? Is that right? If yes, you need to man up! My wife’s ex BF was a surprise guest at my surprise 30th birthday party (someone’s date) and I was so gracious it drove my wife nuts.

This isn't remotely similar. Her ex was there with a date and you were present as well.

Imagine she went to a bar, told you it was with her girlfriends, didn't come home that night, and then later you learned her ex was there and she had somehow forgotten to include him in the list of people she told you was present.

She was out some place five years ago for drinks with a big group and an ex was there? Is that right? If yes, you need to man up! My wife’s ex BF was a surprise guest at my surprise 30th birthday party (someone’s date) and I was so gracious it drove my wife nuts.

Anonymous wrote:Why are you recalling an incident from 5 years ago?

What? If I thought my wife went to see Les Mis with her bff from childhood, but a few years later dropped that it was a party and her ex was there, I would sure as hell remember.

DTMF

DTMF

1. They hooked up.
2. Nothing happened, but she thinks you're weird guys being around her, so she didn't want to tell you.
3. Nothing happened, but she wanted to feel young/flirty again.

My gut says it's #3.

Who the heck knows, OP? Maybe she knew you'd be jealous and chagrined if you knew, so she didn't tell you before, and actually nothing happened. Or maybe she cheated on you that night.

I opt for the former, but what do I know

Why are you recalling an incident from 5 years ago?

Well, my first thought is the obvious. My second thought is the reason you weren't invited (while other men were) was because she knew he'd be there.

How does Tom fit in the group? Did they all go to college together or something?

There were two guys there. I'd be talking with Scott and see if you can get the real story.

Wife went out for drinks with friends five years ago. Got too drunk to drive home and didn't want to leave car behind so she spent the night with a girlfriend. I saw pics on FB of them in the bar drinking so I know that part happened.

The next day she told me who was there- all girlfriends. No mention of any guys or interactions with guys.

Last week she met up with the same girls at the same place. Shed seen all of them dozens of times in the interim, but had not been at that particular bar/restuarant since.

While telling me sbout the night she- unsolicited- remarks that ahe hasnt been back there since that night with Susie, Sara, Lisa, Courtney, Scott, and... Tom.

Tom is her ex-bf.

I said nothing and am waiting until I am sure how to approach this.

Can you think of any reason at all (except for the obvious) why she would have kept that part secret for so long?