Anonymous wrote:Hi, thanks for these wise words. I’m not sure what you mean with respect to the negative language flagging other issues.

you're welcome. What I meant is often that kind of extremely negative language has its roots in childhood.

Anonymous wrote:What’s a repeat affair?

I'm guessing more than 1. Serial cheating/affairs.

What’s a repeat affair?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheating? An affair? That’s dishonest, weak, deceptive and hurtful.

If it stemmed from past hurt, trauma and you fo the individual therapy, express remorse and understand and empathize and never do it again, never lie and confront your issues, then yes you can change.

An affair isn’t one incident. It is over and over and over again. Many, many days (even years) of lies and deceptions.

But, one affair, and the work and such described above and a complete 180, continued therapy, etc, yes change is possible.

A repeat affair, serial cheater: you are a sh@t person.

Anonymous wrote:Cheating? An affair? That’s dishonest, weak, deceptive and hurtful.

If it stemmed from past hurt, trauma and you fo the individual therapy, express remorse and understand and empathize and never do it again, never lie and confront your issues, then yes you can change.

An affair isn’t one incident. It is over and over and over again. Many, many days (even years) of lies and deceptions.

Cheating? An affair? That’s dishonest, weak, deceptive and hurtful.

If it stemmed from past hurt, trauma and you fo the individual therapy, express remorse and understand and empathize and never do it again, never lie and confront your issues, then yes you can change.

Hi, thanks for these wise words. I’m not sure what you mean with respect to the negative language flagging other issues.

I don't know what you've done, maybe it was very serious and deserves the very negative language you're using, and maybe it wasn't. Either way, you explore what caused you to do what you did. That also means investigating the very negative language you're using to describe yourself in this post.

Start with the incident that worries you. What were the facts of the situation? What did you do, and what were you thinking and feeling at each point along the way? Who else was there? What were they doing? What was the context for this incident? -Etc.

I recommend thoughtfully delving into the details to understand the incident and also your very negative language, which is a flag that there's an issue other than this specific incident. Typically, we don't suddenly "lose integrity" because of how we behave during one specific incident. It's the other way around. One specific incident signals we have some specific, ongoing challenges. That incident tells you where to start looking and investigating to identify and then heal whatever is challenging you.

Can you ever recover integrity? If you’ve done something dishonest, weak or deceptive and have learned from it, do you ever after have to regard yourself in a compromised light like once a weakling always a weakling, or is it possible to return to the values you betrayed?