Anonymous wrote:After 30 years of marriage, and turning 50, wife, in a mid-life crisis, had a few affairs. One long term, probably still occurring to this day. When pressed on the issue, she will not agree to a separation or divorce. Too much water under the bridge. I will always forgive her. I just cannot go down the road she's traveled. Never have believed that two wrongs make a right.

She got married at 20 years old???

Became a serial cheater. Was so sloppy that I found out pretty quickly. 20yrs of being together and two kids ended practically overnight.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 30 years of marriage, and turning 50, wife, in a mid-life crisis, had a few affairs. One long term, probably still occurring to this day. When pressed on the issue, she will not agree to a separation or divorce. Too much water under the bridge. I will always forgive her. I just cannot go down the road she's traveled. Never have believed that two wrongs make a right.

How can you always forgive her?? Nope. One and done. No 2nd chances.

She won't agree to separation or divorce because you are footing the bill for her lifestyle. How can you even sleep with her, knowing that she is sleeping with so many different men (and it's unprotected, bub)?

Anonymous wrote:After 30 years of marriage, and turning 50, wife, in a mid-life crisis, had a few affairs. One long term, probably still occurring to this day. When pressed on the issue, she will not agree to a separation or divorce. Too much water under the bridge. I will always forgive her. I just cannot go down the road she's traveled. Never have believed that two wrongs make a right.

How can you always forgive her?? Nope. One and done. No 2nd chances.

Married in mid 20s after we finished grad school, and in retrospect the crisis started in late 30s.

Increased drinking, combativeness, opting out of family activities, and then eventually an affair with a subordinate from work.

After 30 years of marriage, and turning 50, wife, in a mid-life crisis, had a few affairs. One long term, probably still occurring to this day. When pressed on the issue, she will not agree to a separation or divorce. Too much water under the bridge. I will always forgive her. I just cannot go down the road she's traveled. Never have believed that two wrongs make a right.

Cheating with a colleague from work. Leaving me and kids to move to a small apartment.

Turned into video game addict, spend at least 5 hour daily, more on weekends

Happening now and hoo boy is it fun!

He's realizing his bucket-list idealistic wants in life are not really feasible even though he worked very hard, and he is freaking out about the harsh reality of sometimes right as you achieve certain milestones others become impossible to achieve. Mid-40s coinciding with having a lot of disposable income is nice, but a tough pill to swallow when you realize you can't buy your ideal career or location or happiness or health.

There is also some slight mellowing, but the bad days/tantrums are worse and just overall more existential.

He needs to start taking edibles or something.

Anonymous wrote:He grew entitled and full of himself. He started to drink more in social settings. Then his debates would get heated. He became hypercritical of me and the kids. He would blow up over minor things. He looked online for an AP and had an affair.

Married at age 27. This was years 18-21 of marriage. He was mid-late 40s.

Good times.

Wow, +1 exactly this. And a 40 pound weight loss. Lots of time at the gym.

Turned 40, started talking about how old they were getting and how they really needed to enjoy life before it's over. She talked about a divorce, and needing excitement. It ended when I found out she was talking to guys online and told her that I was done. It was a wake up call for her I think and snapped her out of her funk

I wish he would have just bought a Porsche or got hair plugs . But, he does everything BIG

^ very similar. It was like an alien abduction. He was not the man I married and loved. He had a lot of internal stuff he never processed from childhood and was a perfectionist who began questioning how much he accomplished in life (a lot, btw, but dreams were huge).

Thankfully, he snapped the hell out of it after a few years and did a lot of individual therapy. He’s like a 2.0 version, even better than the man I married. But, it was touch and go during that time.

I think some people never snap back and go on being the entitled selfish a-holes or when they do finally look back they see the wreckage they left behind.

Some have a much milder version, more depression like. I think everyone goes through it to some degree. The bottom of the U in the happiness curve.

He grew entitled and full of himself. He started to drink more in social settings. Then his debates would get heated. He became hypercritical of me and the kids. He would blow up over minor things. He looked online for an AP and had an affair.

Married at age 27. This was years 18-21 of marriage. He was mid-late 40s.

Good times.

Please share what your spouse's midlife crisis looked like, especially if it involved infidelity. Thanks.