Anonymous
Post 08/26/2021 11:21     Subject: Wedding gift
I am Jewish so I have always gifted cash/checks in multiples of 18. When I was young I would gift $18 for a bar/bat mitzvah. As a grad student I would gift $36 at weddings justifying it as it was for two people. When I got a job it jumped to $90, because $36 seemed cheap. Once I got married and we were going to events as a couple, it grew to $180 again because $90 seemed cheap. At some point after that it grew to $324 (18*18). A few years ago I said screw it and now give $18 for everything and never doubt myself.
Anonymous
Post 08/26/2021 10:25     Subject: Wedding gift
People were giving $100 back in the 90s and 2000s. $300 per couple is good.
Anonymous
Post 08/26/2021 10:18     Subject: Re:Wedding gift
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Thank you all for your answers.
My DH and his friend are both attorneys, DH is high up in-house and his friend built his own practice.


Money is pointless here. Seems like both your DH and his friend have plenty of money. No one is going to notice $300 - $400, in other words, it's not a meaningful gift. Frankly, I'd feel a bit offended, not at the sum involved but the laziness.

Instead of $400 cash, give a $400 bottle of wine. Or something ephemeral and luxurious. Or see if you can get a very nice dinner fully paid for (something that'd normally cost $400 for two people, including wine pairing). Something that is a bit more thoughtful then gee, another check or envelope of cash. If someone gave me a check or cash for that amount, it'd probably sit around for months before being deposited given I rarely go to the bank in person nor use cash to pay for things.



What is “plenty of money”?
OP here. While we are ok, we don’t have “plenty of money” and I never tried $400 bottle of wine. Both my DH and his friend from lower middle class background and both are solid middle class.
He gave us $300 for our wedding 10 years ago and we were very happy about the money. We used all the cash gifts to pay for a wonderful honeymoon in Hawaii.
Also his parents are both dead and he is paying for a wedding. His bride is of a lower income.
I don’t know what world this forum lives in to consider attorneys some spoiled brats. We are not like that.
Anonymous
Post 08/26/2021 10:13     Subject: Re:Wedding gift
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Thank you all for your answers.
My DH and his friend are both attorneys, DH is high up in-house and his friend built his own practice.


Money is pointless here. Seems like both your DH and his friend have plenty of money. No one is going to notice $300 - $400, in other words, it's not a meaningful gift. Frankly, I'd feel a bit offended, not at the sum involved but the laziness.

Instead of $400 cash, give a $400 bottle of wine. Or something ephemeral and luxurious. Or see if you can get a very nice dinner fully paid for (something that'd normally cost $400 for two people, including wine pairing). Something that is a bit more thoughtful then gee, another check or envelope of cash. If someone gave me a check or cash for that amount, it'd probably sit around for months before being deposited given I rarely go to the bank in person nor use cash to pay for things.



Well that would be obnoxious of you then! A $400 bottle of wine is a ridiculous suggestion unless they are wine connoisseurs. I think $500 is a perfect gift and call it a day.
Anonymous
Post 08/26/2021 10:07     Subject: Wedding gift
This is such a silly question with no additional information.
Give according to your budget and how close you are to the couple.
Anonymous
Post 08/26/2021 09:39     Subject: Re:Wedding gift
Anonymous wrote:Thank you all for your answers.
My DH and his friend are both attorneys, DH is high up in-house and his friend built his own practice.


Money is pointless here. Seems like both your DH and his friend have plenty of money. No one is going to notice $300 - $400, in other words, it's not a meaningful gift. Frankly, I'd feel a bit offended, not at the sum involved but the laziness.

Instead of $400 cash, give a $400 bottle of wine. Or something ephemeral and luxurious. Or see if you can get a very nice dinner fully paid for (something that'd normally cost $400 for two people, including wine pairing). Something that is a bit more thoughtful then gee, another check or envelope of cash. If someone gave me a check or cash for that amount, it'd probably sit around for months before being deposited given I rarely go to the bank in person nor use cash to pay for things.

Anonymous
Post 08/26/2021 01:20     Subject: Re:Wedding gift
Thank you all for your answers.
My DH and his friend are both attorneys, DH is high up in-house and his friend built his own practice.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2021 23:55     Subject: Re:Wedding gift
I usually gift $100-150 and I would say this is in line with gifts received at my wedding 2 years ago (mid/late 30’s). The only people who gifted $300+ were friends of parents who are well-off and attorneys/doctors. Most older friends whose careers were established gifted $200.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2021 09:49     Subject: Wedding gift
For a close, friend I think that is appropriate.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2021 09:49     Subject: Wedding gift
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What is a healthy amount for a wedding gift?
They don’t have a wedding registry.
We are thinking $300-400 cash. Is it adequate number with current inflation?


That seems like a lot. How close are these people? We typically do $100 per invited head, but maybe that's outdated.


The groom is one of my DH close friends.
He flu to our wedding across the country 10 years ago.


I'm guessing on the older side (closer to 40 or older?). No registry suggests a couple already financially set and with all the things they need.

Cash would seem impersonal, as it always is. It sort of makes more sense for a younger couple but not for older people.

I'd be looking at a case of very, very, nice wine. Or a premium set of bed linens. Something genuinely nice and a bit more personal than just cash.

Anonymous
Post 08/25/2021 09:47     Subject: Re:Wedding gift
Too many factors involved. Rich people's wedding, poor people's wedding, normal middle class folks? BIGLAW associates getting married or two non profit workers?

The only rule is that you give what you are comfortable with. Everything else is arbitrary and besides the point.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2021 09:47     Subject: Wedding gift
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What is a healthy amount for a wedding gift?
They don’t have a wedding registry.
We are thinking $300-400 cash. Is it adequate number with current inflation?


That seems like a lot. How close are these people? We typically do $100 per invited head, but maybe that's outdated.


The groom is one of my DH close friends.
He flu to our wedding across the country 10 years ago.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2021 08:45     Subject: Wedding gift
Anonymous wrote:What is a healthy amount for a wedding gift?
They don’t have a wedding registry.
We are thinking $300-400 cash. Is it adequate number with current inflation?


That seems like a lot. How close are these people? We typically do $100 per invited head, but maybe that's outdated.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2021 03:52     Subject: Re:Wedding gift
Yes.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2021 03:23     Subject: Wedding gift
What is a healthy amount for a wedding gift?
They don’t have a wedding registry.
We are thinking $300-400 cash. Is it adequate number with current inflation?