Anonymous
Post 08/24/2021 00:32     Subject: Are you obligated to inform your spouse about plans to change your appearance?
I absolutely think you need to discuss a tattoo with a partner. I would be upset if my partner got one because they can spread HIV, hepatitis, etc. I would demand testing, condom usage, etc.
Anonymous
Post 08/24/2021 00:27     Subject: Are you obligated to inform your spouse about plans to change your appearance?
Anonymous wrote:Eh. I can see *not* telling your spouse about a tattoo if you really wanted one but they were very judgmental of tattoos.

Now, what happened with my xH - he spent weeks planning a tattoo, visiting different artists, figuring out exactly what he wanted, etc. I went with him for about an hour of the first session then had to leave. He came home FURIOUS that I had allowed him to get this tattoo, because he immediately hated it, and somehow that was all my fault. Like I should have magically known he would think it looked stupid once it was permanent.

So I guess I would want my spouse to tell me so I could talk them out of it.



I understand why you're divorced from him.
Anonymous
Post 08/24/2021 00:07     Subject: Are you obligated to inform your spouse about plans to change your appearance?
Obligated...no. But I honestly can't picture dh or I doing any of those things without telling the other person.
Anonymous
Post 08/24/2021 00:07     Subject: Are you obligated to inform your spouse about plans to change your appearance?
Something permanent, like a piercing or a tattoo? Yes.

A new hairstyle or color? It might be nice to tell them if it's drastically different, but it will grow back or change eventually anyhow.
Anonymous
Post 08/24/2021 00:05     Subject: Are you obligated to inform your spouse about plans to change your appearance?
Anonymous wrote:Eh. I can see *not* telling your spouse about a tattoo if you really wanted one but they were very judgmental of tattoos.

Now, what happened with my xH - he spent weeks planning a tattoo, visiting different artists, figuring out exactly what he wanted, etc. I went with him for about an hour of the first session then had to leave. He came home FURIOUS that I had allowed him to get this tattoo, because he immediately hated it, and somehow that was all my fault. Like I should have magically known he would think it looked stupid once it was permanent.

So I guess I would want my spouse to tell me so I could talk them out of it.


Ha! HahHa!
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 23:30     Subject: Are you obligated to inform your spouse about plans to change your appearance?
Eh. I can see *not* telling your spouse about a tattoo if you really wanted one but they were very judgmental of tattoos.

Now, what happened with my xH - he spent weeks planning a tattoo, visiting different artists, figuring out exactly what he wanted, etc. I went with him for about an hour of the first session then had to leave. He came home FURIOUS that I had allowed him to get this tattoo, because he immediately hated it, and somehow that was all my fault. Like I should have magically known he would think it looked stupid once it was permanent.

So I guess I would want my spouse to tell me so I could talk them out of it.
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 23:28     Subject: Re:Are you obligated to inform your spouse about plans to change your appearance?
I would mention a permanent change to DH - like a tattoo or surgery. I would even mention something one level smaller like a piercing or injections in the face. But no, I don't tell him before a haircut. Well, I might mention I have an appointment at the salon but i haven't warned him I'm going to cut my waist length hair into a lob.
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 23:23     Subject: Are you obligated to inform your spouse about plans to change your appearance?
Anonymous wrote:I don't mean asking for permission. I mean telling them you are thinking about making a change to your appearance. Is it okay to just show up with a change? By change in appearance, I'm thinking of things like a haircut, changing the color of your hair, going bald, or getting a piercing or a tattoo.


Yes on tattoo. Those things spread. It takes a few year but you will be covered with tats if you get a small one. Facebook says they can spread to other people by close contact.
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 23:18     Subject: Are you obligated to inform your spouse about plans to change your appearance?
Anonymous wrote:OP's husband shaved his head and got a tattoo in the midst of a mid-life criss, obviously. She's embarrassed.


No if that was the case she wouldn’t care about any of those changes. She would be here complaining about his new arm candy.
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 23:15     Subject: Are you obligated to inform your spouse about plans to change your appearance?
Anonymous wrote:OP's husband shaved his head and got a tattoo in the midst of a mid-life criss, obviously. She's embarrassed.


This post made me laugh.
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 23:12     Subject: Are you obligated to inform your spouse about plans to change your appearance?
OP's husband shaved his head and got a tattoo in the midst of a mid-life criss, obviously. She's embarrassed.
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 23:10     Subject: Are you obligated to inform your spouse about plans to change your appearance?
OP, are you planning to join a motorcycle gang?
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 22:41     Subject: Are you obligated to inform your spouse about plans to change your appearance?
Anonymous wrote:I don't mean asking for permission. I mean telling them you are thinking about making a change to your appearance. Is it okay to just show up with a change? By change in appearance, I'm thinking of things like a haircut, changing the color of your hair, going bald, or getting a piercing or a tattoo.


Haircut and color change - no problem! Going bald, tattoos etc big problem.
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 22:40     Subject: Are you obligated to inform your spouse about plans to change your appearance?
I don't think you're obligated to do so, but other than haircut or color, I think you've probably got a strange marriage if you wouldn't talk to your spouse about what you're thinking of doing. If you come home with a piercing or tattoo or new bald head with no thinking about it and talking about it beforehand, either you're very impulsive or you're trying to shock your spouse.
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 22:38     Subject: Are you obligated to inform your spouse about plans to change your appearance?
I don't mean asking for permission. I mean telling them you are thinking about making a change to your appearance. Is it okay to just show up with a change? By change in appearance, I'm thinking of things like a haircut, changing the color of your hair, going bald, or getting a piercing or a tattoo.