Often, when people write in about this topic, they are the wealthy family and are concerned about not making others feel bad.

This is . . . different, and worse, in many, many ways.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't project your class anxiety onto your kids. At $500K a year, they will be fine. YOU'RE worried about being less wealthy than your sisters.

OP here. I definitely feel extreme class anxiety and awkwardness about their gradual ascension into the Nova "upper class" if you can call it that, during the past few years ever since they met their husbands-to-be. I was never very close with my SIL but its definitely made it a little harder to relate to my sister. It doesn't really help that both of them are very into class/status and are the kinds of people who love to do certain things to be perceived a certain way.

I have to say Op, this is a classic troll, but you are repeating yourself.

Simple solution, make some friends who aren’t as into class/status, and see the sisters at XMas and call it a day.

And why not get a job and be the next tech superstar or banker?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't project your class anxiety onto your kids. At $500K a year, they will be fine. YOU'RE worried about being less wealthy than your sisters.

OP here. I definitely feel extreme class anxiety and awkwardness about their gradual ascension into the Nova "upper class" if you can call it that, during the past few years ever since they met their husbands-to-be. I was never very close with my SIL but its definitely made it a little harder to relate to my sister. It doesn't really help that both of them are very into class/status and are the kinds of people who love to do certain things to be perceived a certain way.

Yeah, it's the OTHER people who are consumed with class/status.

Holy smokes, that may be the least self-aware statement on DCUM ever. And that's a pretty high bar to clear.

Anonymous wrote:I married into a MC family when I married my DH. I grew up UMC/UC when I was younger so I know that lifestyle well. Unfortunately my parents mismanaged their money so I do not have a trust fund or what have you as is customary of my set. Together DH and I make a good income now in our early thirties. 500K or so depending on how his business does per year. We are pretty happy considering. Both our sisters however, happened to marry significantly wealthy men. One is marrying an investment banker and they aren't even 30th yet and live a life very few can afford. The other is marrying a well-to-do techie who is obviously a tech superstar in addition to coming from a wealthy family who own many properties and constantly gift them getaways and other fun treats.

I know my husband and I are fortunate but now compared to the drastically different lifestyles of our immediate siblings...we feel...less than. And I am working through my own feelings and coming to terms with having a very wealthy sister in law and sister, in the back of my mind, I worry about the financial discrepancy any children we have might feel. It must be odd for a little child to grow up with cousins who live fabulously wealthy lives.

I am unsure how to navigate this issue which I know from experience will eventually come up. Advice? Thoughts?

Considering . . . what?

Anonymous wrote:Don't project your class anxiety onto your kids. At $500K a year, they will be fine. YOU'RE worried about being less wealthy than your sisters.

OP here. I definitely feel extreme class anxiety and awkwardness about their gradual ascension into the Nova "upper class" if you can call it that, during the past few years ever since they met their husbands-to-be. I was never very close with my SIL but its definitely made it a little harder to relate to my sister. It doesn't really help that both of them are very into class/status and are the kinds of people who love to do certain things to be perceived a certain way.

Make friends with some poors, you & "your kids" will feel so much better about yourselves. Even better if you can find a family with serious health issues, a wheelchair or funny looking would really help make your point that. . . oh, what is your point?

Don't project your class anxiety onto your kids. At $500K a year, they will be fine. YOU'RE worried about being less wealthy than your sisters.

Anonymous wrote:And that’s enough DCUM for today. I’m done.

+1. This may be the one to make me finally quit. Thanks, OP.

And that’s enough DCUM for today. I’m done.

Admit you're jealous and move on.

You earn half a million dollars a year. Your problem is that you are comparing yourself with people who have more. You navigate it by making decisions based on your budget and goals, by not making material goods and luxury trips the focus of your life, and by exposing your kids to a variety of people so that they can see that they are rich, even if some people have more.

It must be very difficult to live off of only $500k a year. Sorry you are poor.

I think this has more to do with yourself than your children. Your kids care about the quality of time you spend with them - not necessarily the gadgets, etc. Give everything to your kids on a silver platter, and they don't have anything to work towards.

Focus on the good that you and nurture your children - that's worth more than any material wealth you can give them. Teach your children the importance of valuing life and not things. That seems like the most important lesson here.

Even when it comes to experiences - you don't need a luxury resort, yacht trip or private jets. Take them camping and rough it with them - together - and they'll have lifelong memories of family fun.

Stop expecting to mooch off of men.

I married into a MC family when I married my DH. I grew up UMC/UC when I was younger so I know that lifestyle well. Unfortunately my parents mismanaged their money so I do not have a trust fund or what have you as is customary of my set. Together DH and I make a good income now in our early thirties. 500K or so depending on how his business does per year. We are pretty happy considering. Both our sisters however, happened to marry significantly wealthy men. One is marrying an investment banker and they aren't even 30th yet and live a life very few can afford. The other is marrying a well-to-do techie who is obviously a tech superstar in addition to coming from a wealthy family who own many properties and constantly gift them getaways and other fun treats.

I know my husband and I are fortunate but now compared to the drastically different lifestyles of our immediate siblings...we feel...less than. And I am working through my own feelings and coming to terms with having a very wealthy sister in law and sister, in the back of my mind, I worry about the financial discrepancy any children we have might feel. It must be odd for a little child to grow up with cousins who live fabulously wealthy lives.

I am unsure how to navigate this issue which I know from experience will eventually come up. Advice? Thoughts?