Anonymous
08/15/2021 19:33
Subject: Re:How To Help Boyfriend Relax?
You are not responsible for his happiness. And if he cannot handle stress now — wait until you are married with a toddler, a baby and aging parents. If he cannot figure this out now, it doesn’t bode well.
Anonymous
08/15/2021 19:33
Subject: How To Help Boyfriend Relax?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Get a new boyfriend.
So no other boyfriends will ever get stressed? What a stupid response. I hope you don’t have a spouse that ever get stressed. You sound awful. What a moron.
I actually do have a spouse for over 15 years now.
It's neither of our jobs to make the other relax. To make the other happy. We can and do things not to cause added stress and to help make things easier when possible, but no we do not take on the stress and burned of trying to manage another's emotions.
The second piece is this is a boyfriend, boyfriends and husbands are on different levels. They just are. If you are already working yourself to the bone for a "stressed boyfriend" it does not bode well for the future when you take on the responsibilities of marriage and children.
+1
You’re not a wife, OP.
OP here. I plan to marry him. We are getting engaged soon ( he doesn’t know that I know).
Anonymous
08/15/2021 19:32
Subject: How To Help Boyfriend Relax?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Get a new boyfriend.
OP here. This seems like a very immature response. Have you ever had a partner? Been in a relationship? People get stressed. Why would I break up with him just because he is stressed with work?
Why do you think he shouldn't be stressed? Why do you think it's your job to make him relax? Stress is part of life, it's a normal human emotion. I'm assuming your boyfriend is a grown man who I'm sure has encountered stress before you came into his life and knows what will work for him and what he needs to do to relax.
Is his stress causing him t be mean to you?
OP here. He isn’t mean to me. I like helping people and enjoy making others happy. He helps me out when I’m stressed - cooks, cleans, sends me off to get a massage, etc. I like being able to do the same.
Anonymous
08/15/2021 19:22
Subject: How To Help Boyfriend Relax?
Same thread as husband. You ladies are boring AF
Anonymous
08/15/2021 19:12
Subject: How To Help Boyfriend Relax?
I mean this with kindness, but you sound a little co-dependent.
It’s a pretty big red flag that 1. He’s being grouchy with you and 2. You think it’s your responsibility to take care of him so he’s not grouchy.
All you really have to say is “let me know how I can help”. Then trust he’ll let you know.
He needs to be responsible for learning how to manage his own stress. You can always be there for him, of course, but he needs to figure out if he needs exercise, alone time, connection with you, etc. It’s not your responsibility to manage his emotions.
It’s a pretty big red flag that 1. He’s being grouchy with you and 2. You think it’s your responsibility to take care of him so he’s not grouchy.
All you really have to say is “let me know how I can help”. Then trust he’ll let you know.
He needs to be responsible for learning how to manage his own stress. You can always be there for him, of course, but he needs to figure out if he needs exercise, alone time, connection with you, etc. It’s not your responsibility to manage his emotions.
Anonymous
08/15/2021 18:21
Subject: How To Help Boyfriend Relax?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Get a new boyfriend.
So no other boyfriends will ever get stressed? What a stupid response. I hope you don’t have a spouse that ever get stressed. You sound awful. What a moron.
I actually do have a spouse for over 15 years now.
It's neither of our jobs to make the other relax. To make the other happy. We can and do things not to cause added stress and to help make things easier when possible, but no we do not take on the stress and burned of trying to manage another's emotions.
The second piece is this is a boyfriend, boyfriends and husbands are on different levels. They just are. If you are already working yourself to the bone for a "stressed boyfriend" it does not bode well for the future when you take on the responsibilities of marriage and children.
+1
You’re not a wife, OP.
Anonymous
08/15/2021 18:19
Subject: How To Help Boyfriend Relax?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Get a new boyfriend.
OP here. This seems like a very immature response. Have you ever had a partner? Been in a relationship? People get stressed. Why would I break up with him just because he is stressed with work?
Why do you think he shouldn't be stressed? Why do you think it's your job to make him relax? Stress is part of life, it's a normal human emotion. I'm assuming your boyfriend is a grown man who I'm sure has encountered stress before you came into his life and knows what will work for him and what he needs to do to relax.
Is his stress causing him t be mean to you?
Anonymous
08/15/2021 18:17
Subject: How To Help Boyfriend Relax?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Get a new boyfriend.
So no other boyfriends will ever get stressed? What a stupid response. I hope you don’t have a spouse that ever get stressed. You sound awful. What a moron.
I actually do have a spouse for over 15 years now.
It's neither of our jobs to make the other relax. To make the other happy. We can and do things not to cause added stress and to help make things easier when possible, but no we do not take on the stress and burned of trying to manage another's emotions.
The second piece is this is a boyfriend, boyfriends and husbands are on different levels. They just are. If you are already working yourself to the bone for a "stressed boyfriend" it does not bode well for the future when you take on the responsibilities of marriage and children.
Anonymous
08/15/2021 17:45
Subject: How To Help Boyfriend Relax?
Anonymous wrote:Is it possible to spend sometime outdoors? That always helps me decompress.
OP here. We run and work out almost everyday. That’s usually an outlet for him but he hasn’t had much time to work out as he would like.
Anonymous
08/15/2021 17:44
Subject: How To Help Boyfriend Relax?
Anonymous wrote:Get a new boyfriend.
OP here. This seems like a very immature response. Have you ever had a partner? Been in a relationship? People get stressed. Why would I break up with him just because he is stressed with work?
Anonymous
08/15/2021 17:43
Subject: How To Help Boyfriend Relax?
OP here. I just realized another persons title but didn’t know what else to put.
Anonymous
08/15/2021 17:42
Subject: How To Help Boyfriend Relax?
Anonymous wrote:Get a new boyfriend.
So no other boyfriends will ever get stressed? What a stupid response. I hope you don’t have a spouse that ever get stressed. You sound awful. What a moron.
Anonymous
08/15/2021 17:28
Subject: How To Help Boyfriend Relax?
Is it possible to spend sometime outdoors? That always helps me decompress.
Anonymous
08/15/2021 17:17
Subject: How To Help Boyfriend Relax?
Get a new boyfriend.
Anonymous
08/15/2021 17:16
Subject: How To Help Boyfriend Relax?
My boyfriend works in finance and has been super stressed with work deadlines. He’s been working 11-12 hour days and he’s exhausted. He hadn’t been mad, but he’s definitely more irritable and crabby. I’ve been just trying my eta to be supportive but I really don’t know how besides making sure he has something to eat and sex. He doesn’t really want to talk about it and I get it. How can I let him know I’m here for him and how to relax?