Anonymous wrote:My husband freely admits he was looking for someone attractive and I freely admit that I was looking for someone with the potential to make a good income. We also just truly enjoy one another and want the same things out of life. Together 20 years and married for 17. What’s the issue?

The issue is that you are both superficial and most people don’t aspire to that but I’m glad you found each other and it works out.

I think OP makes a good point. I don’t think that men are never told to settle on looks but if they are it’s very subtle (just general “make sure you’re going for women in their league) and it happens way more to women. “Lose weight” is the very first thing a lot of people say.

Anonymous wrote:Because there are very few guys on DCUM who post about being single at 40 and not being able to find someone to date. If that were the case, DCUM would definitely tell him to stop searching for models.

Not just talking about on DCUM , but it occurs on here too. Again you assume that if someone is single at 40 ( but this occurs at any age) they have to be looking for a model.

Anonymous wrote:Most normal men (not incel types) don't need to be told to compromise looks. They may want a model, but they'll happily settle.

Very few men are single because they're being picky.

Not true. Most women end up with averaging guys as well, but they get told they have to go for the guys they aren't really attracted to ie the bald guys, the short guys etc. Whereas no one ever tells guys to go for the equivalent in women Average attractiveness is okay for guys, but if a woman wants the same thing, she's told her expectations are unrealistic and she needs to settle.

Because there are very few guys on DCUM who post about being single at 40 and not being able to find someone to date. If that were the case, DCUM would definitely tell him to stop searching for models.

Guys are never told this. They are never told to go for the woman who might be a little chubby, or not super curvy, or who isn't into manicures, makeup, and blowouts

Who gives a crap about your manicure? And what’s a blowout?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of this sounds true to me. Women are told to compromise on income. And men who are unsuccessful in finding a date *are* told to compromise on looks.

Not sure where you’re getting your sample. I’m speaking to DCUM and the DC professional class.

+1

You both are full of shit because I can find at least 3 threads right now where women are told to compromise on looks, and it's the same in real life.

Just because some people post that doesn’t mean that’s the dominant view or even what most responders are saying.

My husband freely admits he was looking for someone attractive and I freely admit that I was looking for someone with the potential to make a good income. We also just truly enjoy one another and want the same things out of life. Together 20 years and married for 17. What’s the issue?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of this sounds true to me. Women are told to compromise on income. And men who are unsuccessful in finding a date *are* told to compromise on looks.

Not sure where you’re getting your sample. I’m speaking to DCUM and the DC professional class.

+1

You both are full of shit because I can find at least 3 threads right now where women are told to compromise on looks, and it's the same in real life.

I agree, but men are definitely told to compromise on looks too, except when talking to men it sounds more like “Focus on women who are in your league.”

Most normal men (not incel types) don't need to be told to compromise looks. They may want a model, but they'll happily settle.

Very few men are single because they're being picky.

I’m a high earning woman and would 1000x take a “hit” on their income vs their looks.

I’m not dating for their wallet as I’m generally much better off. Income fluxes, I don’t need theirs, but I need to want them. Not need them- want them. That comes down to attractiveness since I’m not giving a crap about their wealth.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of this sounds true to me. Women are told to compromise on income. And men who are unsuccessful in finding a date *are* told to compromise on looks.

Not sure where you’re getting your sample. I’m speaking to DCUM and the DC professional class.

+1

You both are full of shit because I can find at least 3 threads right now where women are told to compromise on looks, and it's the same in real life.

Anonymous wrote:None of this sounds true to me. Women are told to compromise on income. And men who are unsuccessful in finding a date *are* told to compromise on looks.

Not sure where you’re getting your sample. I’m speaking to DCUM and the DC professional class.

+1

None of this sounds true to me. Women are told to compromise on income. And men who are unsuccessful in finding a date *are* told to compromise on looks.

Not sure where you’re getting your sample. I’m speaking to DCUM and the DC professional class.

When in reality it's not women who are picky. If a woman posts about dating struggles one of the first things she's told is she should be open to dating guys shorter than her and who aren't conventionally attractive, she should change her standards of what she's attracted to because clearly, she's asking too much.

These same women are then told to conform to the average beauty standard to attract the less than average guys.



Guys are never told this. They are never told to go for the woman who might be a little chubby, or not super curvy, or who isn't into manicures, makeup, and blowouts every day etc. Their standards are never too high.


And the tired excuse that's given is well men are visual ( as if women don't care), and attraction can grow, and you can fix him up to your standards.

Total garbage, but I find it funny.