We can't offer any advice without actual numbers. If you can afford it, there's no problem.

The best thing we ever did when we got married was to get on the same page in terms of saving and spending. My DH had been a saver and I was a spender and when we got married we had the same incomes but I had no savings. But I knew he was right so we became good savers. You have to find a middle ground early on. My DH wasn’t cheap but he was saving for big things that I hadn’t thought about and he was right. He was and is always looking out ten years and I wasn’t.

Set your financial goals together - savings, mortgage, retirement, 529 (future, just put it in a savings account), new car fund, etc. Then each of you gets a fixed amount each month that’s “your” money, to do with what you will. It can be clothes, hobbies, haircuts, whatever. However, the other spouse can’t criticize what it’s spent on, unless it’s hookers and blow.

We have no idea from what you’ve told us whether you’re just too cautious or all his money burns a hole in his pocket.

Anonymous wrote:Organic foods are a scam. Sorry you’re gullible and naive.

There absolutely is a difference between organic pastured meat and conventional factory farming. Sorry you're so ill-informed.

Anonymous wrote:You want to compare? My wife spends like she just divorced Jeff Bezos.

She has over $3000 PER MONTH of extra spending cash...and she doesn't have ANY OF IT. I pay for the mortgage, bills, etc. She has her own account that she moves $1000 over and in our joint account there is always $2000 extra for whatever.

Oddly, she always needs money to pay off credit cards. Welcome to the pain of a spoiled spouse. Worse mistake I ever made. And we have one kid so I can't leave (don't even trust joint custody).

Dude, you should have married me. I hate to shop and I love making my own money. Your wife sounds like she thinks she on Real Housewives!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you jealous that he treats his friends to dinners? I think that is a bigger issue. I'm a wife and have no qualms dropping $1500 on Botox and fillers twice a year. DH doesn't know and I love that we keep our finances separate

Most married people don’t keep their finances separate. Hopefully you don’t too much fillers and come out looking like that cat lady.

You cracked me up PP! No, my doctor is great and I love his aesthetic judgement. I have South Asian genetic tear troughs and the Botox is for my East Asian oversized masseter muscles. Nothing wrong with wanting to look nicer, right? Also, nothing wrong with wanting to keep certain indulgences secret.

You want to compare? My wife spends like she just divorced Jeff Bezos.

She has over $3000 PER MONTH of extra spending cash...and she doesn't have ANY OF IT. I pay for the mortgage, bills, etc. She has her own account that she moves $1000 over and in our joint account there is always $2000 extra for whatever.

Oddly, she always needs money to pay off credit cards. Welcome to the pain of a spoiled spouse. Worse mistake I ever made. And we have one kid so I can't leave (don't even trust joint custody).

How much money do you have? What is the actual disagreement?

Organic foods are a scam. Sorry you’re gullible and naive.

Anonymous wrote: I keep to a budget on other things for the household and myself.

Expand your budget from household to allocate money for all your combined income. Have a conversation about it with DH. Decide together what the budget should be. It's more productive to talk about spending when you have all the spending data in front of you.

If he is making a lot of money and you are saving a lot of money then why complain about what he spends? If you are not saving a lot of money then it’s a problem. What percent of your gross HHI goes into savings? If you are saving 20% of the gross you should be happy.

Show him a chart showing much wealthier he’d be if he saved & invested that money instead of spending it. That’s what kicked me into gear.

Anonymous wrote:Are you jealous that he treats his friends to dinners? I think that is a bigger issue. I'm a wife and have no qualms dropping $1500 on Botox and fillers twice a year. DH doesn't know and I love that we keep our finances separate

Most married people don’t keep their finances separate. Hopefully you don’t too much fillers and come out looking like that cat lady.

Are you jealous that he treats his friends to dinners? I think that is a bigger issue. I'm a wife and have no qualms dropping $1500 on Botox and fillers twice a year. DH doesn't know and I love that we keep our finances separate

My husband aggravates me so much with how kids he spends. He makes a very good living and should be able to spend, but I’m annoyed by the amount. I’m very frugal and don’t like a lot of money on things that we really don’t need. Our biggest expense is food, as we eat almost everything organic, pasture raised, and grass fed We also eat take out a decent amount. I keep to a budget on other things for the household and myself. My husband spends money like it’s not a big deal. For instance, he spends ridiculous amount at the store for food because he never checks the prices. I try to do the grocery shopping myself because if this. He’s constantly buying expensive things for his hobbies or taking friends out to dinner and paying for all of it. I know he thinks it’s no big deal since we have a good income and plenty of savings, but having kids in the next couple of years will likely make a good dent in that when you factor in kid expenses and childcare. I know it’s a petty thing to complain about it, but it’s really irritating. Can anyone else relate?