I have a high earning colleague whose husband lost her job a few years ago and never managed to get back into the workforce. He is very handy though and basically renovated their entire house, adding a lot of equity, since then. She never complains about his employment status, but I know she is worried mostly for their kid. She went pretty crazy with life insurance. She also seems pretty exhausted most of the time as a lot at home still falls on her. But as I said, I never heard her say anything negative about him or the situation.

I’m a surgeon and my husband is an artist. He makes a pretty good living and he could soon be doing much better. It’s a joy to be married to someone with a career completely different from mine.

I know several couples like this. Husband has become the default parent or SAHD to be the parent on duty so wife can have big career. I don't know what their inner dynamics are though.

Anonymous wrote:Curious about this myself. I have a PhD and make 200k+, but I love fitness and I am tempted to get serious with a personal trainer who makes like 1/3 of my salary. He seems great and it definitely does not bother me now but could this become an issue later? Is he going to feel insecure by me being the main breadwinner, will there be tensions if I expect him to do more at home, will I be resentful we cannot afford the type of holidays and house we could if his salary was more comparable to mine? Of course a lot of this will depend on me and the quality of our relationship, but I was wondering what others experienced after the honeymoon phase wore off.

These questions are specific to you two and your personalities, so we can't tell you. If it's not an issue for y'all, sounds great!

Sounds like a country song

Curious about this myself. I have a PhD and make 200k+, but I love fitness and I am tempted to get serious with a personal trainer who makes like 1/3 of my salary. He seems great and it definitely does not bother me now but could this become an issue later? Is he going to feel insecure by me being the main breadwinner, will there be tensions if I expect him to do more at home, will I be resentful we cannot afford the type of holidays and house we could if his salary was more comparable to mine? Of course a lot of this will depend on me and the quality of our relationship, but I was wondering what others experienced after the honeymoon phase wore off.

Anonymous wrote:I know a couple female surgeons married to SAHDs. I’m assuming they had a professional background/career before kids- but no idea

Oh and the couple times I’ve been out with them (no spouses), they need to end the night early to be home to put their kids to bed and help with bath time. Men with a SAHW never do this.

I know a couple female surgeons married to SAHDs. I’m assuming they had a professional background/career before kids- but no idea

No one I know in my UMC circle. Everyone married guys in finance or law or successful business owners. All the women promptly stopped working.

Do you count my husband being out of work for the last six months?

Anonymous wrote:Depends what you mean. I make 300K and my husband half that. I don't really think of it imbalanced, but he is also totally on board with my career matters to us financially.

I also make double what my husband does. Been married 20 years. Doesn't bother either of us. He's a wonderful husband and father and we're very happy. I do have to admit he does all the laundry and most of the household work since he mostly works from home and I'm in the office. But I cook and do all of the grocery shopping though. It works for us.

I had a colleague who was an OB/Gyn MD married to a cop.

Depends what you mean. I make 300K and my husband half that. I don't really think of it imbalanced, but he is also totally on board with my career matters to us financially.

Not on this board

Any high earning women in a good relationship with a low earning man? Does the earnings differential cause any problems?