Anonymous
Post 07/10/2021 08:35     Subject: When you have siblings over---food question
So they live in Reston and you live in Baltimore? Or as we say, daily commute in non-covid times from Bethesda to Alexandria?
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2021 08:19     Subject: When you have siblings over---food question
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am usually the family member coming to visit, and it varies. I always suggest eating out or takeout, but sometimes my bro/SIL will cook. I always suggest keeping it easy/casual.


Pretty presumptuous of you. Why don't you host?


Np. What are you talking about? What is this poster being presumptuous about?


NO. Don’t tell your hosts what to do in their own home, with their own time and money. It’s beyond rude.

I’m a good cook, and I make a nice-but-reasonable Thanksgiving meal. I enjoy it and am relaxed about it. MIL always says don’t bother/why bother/just buy that at the store next year. It’s dismissive, patronizing and rude.


NP- Wow. You are taking this way too personally. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with how the pp approached the situation. They ‘suggested’ easier options for their SISTER not their boss or some secondary relation. This type of considerate ‘don’t put yourself out for us’ approach is very typical in close families.

Op, similar to others, we often do one meal at home (typically breakfast) then order in or eat out for dinner.



It’s rude. You accepted my hospitality, and now you’re trying to dictate what I do in my own home? No, thanks.

It’s always the non-hosts who do this, too. They feel self-conscious when someone cooks or orders in a nice meal because:
A) They never host (they can’t deal with cleaning or spending money/making effort)
B) They never serve anything good that they made themselves, because they can’t. And even their takeout isn’t good because they don’t want to spend.


Lol. You need to quietly meditate and reflect on what’s important- quality time with family, not judging people’s ability to cook.

You also need to learn the definitions of ‘suggest’ and ‘dictate’.

I’m the pp and host all family events- from 50+ holidays parties, to one in one family dinners. Someone suggesting takeout or catering a larger party or going out to dinner wouldn’t phase me at all as a negative comment- in facts, I’d view it in the opposite- an invitation to lighten my hosting responsibilities because I’m always the host and I’m single so I do it all.



I don’t care what people serve me or how often they host; I do care when they go out of their way to tell me what to do/not to do, with my own time, energy and money, in my own home.

And after a time, yeah, I did notice that it’s the same people who say “Oh, don’t go to any trouble…don’t bother cooking” (while shoveling forkfuls of my food into their mouth at the same time) who are the infrequent/unimpressive hosts.
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2021 08:10     Subject: When you have siblings over---food question
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am usually the family member coming to visit, and it varies. I always suggest eating out or takeout, but sometimes my bro/SIL will cook. I always suggest keeping it easy/casual.


Pretty presumptuous of you. Why don't you host?


Np. What are you talking about? What is this poster being presumptuous about?


NO. Don’t tell your hosts what to do in their own home, with their own time and money. It’s beyond rude.

I’m a good cook, and I make a nice-but-reasonable Thanksgiving meal. I enjoy it and am relaxed about it. MIL always says don’t bother/why bother/just buy that at the store next year. It’s dismissive, patronizing and rude.


NP- Wow. You are taking this way too personally. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with how the pp approached the situation. They ‘suggested’ easier options for their SISTER not their boss or some secondary relation. This type of considerate ‘don’t put yourself out for us’ approach is very typical in close families.

Op, similar to others, we often do one meal at home (typically breakfast) then order in or eat out for dinner.



It’s rude. You accepted my hospitality, and now you’re trying to dictate what I do in my own home? No, thanks.

It’s always the non-hosts who do this, too. They feel self-conscious when someone cooks or orders in a nice meal because:
A) They never host (they can’t deal with cleaning or spending money/making effort)
B) They never serve anything good that they made themselves, because they can’t. And even their takeout isn’t good because they don’t want to spend.


Lol. You need to quietly meditate and reflect on what’s important- quality time with family, not judging people’s ability to cook.

You also need to learn the definitions of ‘suggest’ and ‘dictate’.

I’m the pp and host all family events- from 50+ holidays parties, to one in one family dinners. Someone suggesting takeout or catering a larger party or going out to dinner wouldn’t phase me at all as a negative comment- in facts, I’d view it in the opposite- an invitation to lighten my hosting responsibilities because I’m always the host and I’m single so I do it all.



Anonymous
Post 07/10/2021 08:05     Subject: When you have siblings over---food question
Anonymous wrote:Whatever we feel like or whatever fits best with our life circumstances at the time. Sometimes I cook 3 full meals a day, sometimes we go out or eat simple stuff.


+1

We keep it casual
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2021 08:02     Subject: When you have siblings over---food question
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am usually the family member coming to visit, and it varies. I always suggest eating out or takeout, but sometimes my bro/SIL will cook. I always suggest keeping it easy/casual.


Pretty presumptuous of you. Why don't you host?


Np. What are you talking about? What is this poster being presumptuous about?


NO. Don’t tell your hosts what to do in their own home, with their own time and money. It’s beyond rude.

I’m a good cook, and I make a nice-but-reasonable Thanksgiving meal. I enjoy it and am relaxed about it. MIL always says don’t bother/why bother/just buy that at the store next year. It’s dismissive, patronizing and rude.


NP- Wow. You are taking this way too personally. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with how the pp approached the situation. They ‘suggested’ easier options for their SISTER not their boss or some secondary relation. This type of considerate ‘don’t put yourself out for us’ approach is very typical in close families.

Op, similar to others, we often do one meal at home (typically breakfast) then order in or eat out for dinner.



It’s rude. You accepted my hospitality, and now you’re trying to dictate what I do in my own home? No, thanks.

It’s always the non-hosts who do this, too. They feel self-conscious when someone cooks or orders in a nice meal because:
A) They never host (they can’t deal with cleaning or spending money/making effort)
B) They never serve anything good that they made themselves, because they can’t. And even their takeout isn’t good because they don’t want to spend.
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2021 07:59     Subject: Re:When you have siblings over---food question
Calm down. They’re siblings.
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2021 07:58     Subject: When you have siblings over---food question
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am usually the family member coming to visit, and it varies. I always suggest eating out or takeout, but sometimes my bro/SIL will cook. I always suggest keeping it easy/casual.


Pretty presumptuous of you. Why don't you host?


Np. What are you talking about? What is this poster being presumptuous about?


NO. Don’t tell your hosts what to do in their own home, with their own time and money. It’s beyond rude.

I’m a good cook, and I make a nice-but-reasonable Thanksgiving meal. I enjoy it and am relaxed about it. MIL always says don’t bother/why bother/just buy that at the store next year. It’s dismissive, patronizing and rude.


NP- Wow. You are taking this way too personally. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with how the pp approached the situation. They ‘suggested’ easier options for their SISTER not their boss or some secondary relation. This type of considerate ‘don’t put yourself out for us’ approach is very typical in close families.

Op, similar to others, we often do one meal at home (typically breakfast) then order in or eat out for dinner.

Anonymous
Post 07/10/2021 07:52     Subject: When you have siblings over---food question
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am usually the family member coming to visit, and it varies. I always suggest eating out or takeout, but sometimes my bro/SIL will cook. I always suggest keeping it easy/casual.


Pretty presumptuous of you. Why don't you host?


Np. What are you talking about? What is this poster being presumptuous about?


NO. Don’t tell your hosts what to do in their own home, with their own time and money. It’s beyond rude.

I’m a good cook, and I make a nice-but-reasonable Thanksgiving meal. I enjoy it and am relaxed about it. MIL always says don’t bother/why bother/just buy that at the store next year. It’s dismissive, patronizing and rude.
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2021 02:10     Subject: When you have siblings over---food question
Whatever we feel like or whatever fits best with our life circumstances at the time. Sometimes I cook 3 full meals a day, sometimes we go out or eat simple stuff.
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2021 01:13     Subject: When you have siblings over---food question
Op, it's different every time. Sometimes I make tacos. Sometimes we order pizza. Sometimes grill. Sometimes a sit down proper meal. Depends on the occasion.

My sil likes to cook and try new recipes, so she makes a fantastic meal nearly every time. My other sil and brother don't like to cook, so they usually do takeout when we're there.

What's your preference and why are you asking?
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2021 01:07     Subject: When you have siblings over---food question
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am usually the family member coming to visit, and it varies. I always suggest eating out or takeout, but sometimes my bro/SIL will cook. I always suggest keeping it easy/casual.


Pretty presumptuous of you. Why don't you host?


Np. What are you talking about? What is this poster being presumptuous about?
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2021 00:39     Subject: When you have siblings over---food question
Anonymous wrote:I am usually the family member coming to visit, and it varies. I always suggest eating out or takeout, but sometimes my bro/SIL will cook. I always suggest keeping it easy/casual.


Pretty presumptuous of you. Why don't you host?
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2021 00:18     Subject: When you have siblings over---food question
I am usually the family member coming to visit, and it varies. I always suggest eating out or takeout, but sometimes my bro/SIL will cook. I always suggest keeping it easy/casual.
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2021 00:10     Subject: When you have siblings over---food question
Combo of both. It varies. We might bake pancakes, eggs and fruit for brunch, then go out for dinner. Or order in dim sum, then grill for dinner. We’re flexible.
Anonymous
Post 07/09/2021 23:34     Subject: When you have siblings over---food question
If your sibling lives an hour away and comes over for the day with their family, do you cook or order in?
What level of prep do you do? What do you usually serve food wise?