Anonymous wrote:Damn people. How would you feel if your bosses at your fancy white-collar office jobs were saying this kinda stuff?

“Oh, I won’t hire women in their 30s or women with small children. I need some dependable and reliable. What happens when the kid is sick? It becomes my problem. Nah, better safe than sorry.”

How awful! Don’t you hear yourselves? You should be ashamed. It’s also vastly illegal AS IT SHOULD BE.

I had the same thought and morally agree with you. From a practical standpoint, if I’m out sick or caring for my kids, my boss can still work (and I can make up work on nights / weekends if needed) which isn’t the case if childcare doesn’t work out. I’ve only ever used daycares, partly for this reason (ie need more predictably).

Damn people. How would you feel if your bosses at your fancy white-collar office jobs were saying this kinda stuff?

“Oh, I won’t hire women in their 30s or women with small children. I need some dependable and reliable. What happens when the kid is sick? It becomes my problem. Nah, better safe than sorry.”

How awful! Don’t you hear yourselves? You should be ashamed. It’s also vastly illegal AS IT SHOULD BE.

Anonymous wrote:Nope.

Either choose a nanny (male or female) who absolute isn't interested in kids or the age range for them or a nanny who has already gotten past all of those hang-ups anyway.

You really need to reread that sentence.

Nope.

Either choose a nanny (male or female) who absolute isn't interested in kids or the age range for them or a nanny who has already gotten past all of those hang-ups anyway.

Anonymous wrote:My nanny said the same thing and later the first year, her mother no longer could watch the kids so it became my problem. She had to pay for someone to watch them and asked for a raise. She started calling in sick more often and had to bring them with her several times when the backup care failed. I only hire women are childfree or grown now.

We had an almost identical experience. It became such a nightmare and I regret trying to be nice and not being firmer about our expectations. I agree with other PP that if you choose her you need to set extremely clear boundaries.

Anonymous wrote:I interviewed a nanny that I really like and she seems to be exactly what we are looking for. However, she mentioned that she has 3 kids who are ages 3, 7 and 10 and I worry that could pose challenges for us. She said her mom watches her kids for her so her own childcare isn’t an issue, but what happens if one of the kids gets sick (which is completely normal of course)? Or what happens if her mom get sick? Will she potentially need time off for other kid related things like doctor’s appointments or school meetings?

DH and I have pretty demanding jobs so reliability is really important for us. We often can’t just take the day off short notice without it being a big issue.

I would love to hear from anyone who has a nanny with younger kids to know if this is actually an issue. Would hate to pass up someone great for something that may be a non-issue, but also need to look out for what’s best for us.

Then you need to find backup care as well. Even as a child-free nanny, there were times I needed a day off.

My nanny said the same thing and later the first year, her mother no longer could watch the kids so it became my problem. She had to pay for someone to watch them and asked for a raise. She started calling in sick more often and had to bring them with her several times when the backup care failed. I only hire women are childfree or grown now.

Make sure you set whatever boundaries you are comfortable with for her bringing the kids to work. I briefly had a nanny who said she just wanted to bring the kids to work for a week, then it was a month, then she was getting my baby up at 6:30 to take them to school, etc. I should have set boundaries sooner and it was 100% on me.

Lots of women work with little kids and it’s fine. Just set boundaries.

No. It wouldn’t have worked out for us as on-time and dependability are paramount for us. Our nanny is older and so dependable. She has always been Early, never once late, and never once sick in 2.5 years. That simply isn’t a possibility for any mother of young children.

Our nanny had 3 kids, too. I was concerned at first but it was really never a problem. She had a friend that watched her kids after school.

My nanny has a 6yo. She brings him with on no-school days which i'm totally fine with. During summers, she puts him in a camp next to our house and walks with my kids to pick him up at 4pm and he's here for the last hour, again totally fine. When he's sick, her mom stays with him.

In some ways it's a benefit because the more flexible I am with her, the more flexible she can be for us. Like pre-covid when I used to have work dinners, she'd pick up her son and he'd come play at our house so there was no hard time I had to be home by. We've done weekends away when she stays with the kids and they go back and forth between her house and ours and think it's SO fun to play with her son's big kid toys and she bakes and decorates cookies at her house with them. She also has a huge fish tank and a cat they love to visit. Truly, I feel like we've hit the jackpot. She's been with us 5 years with zero reliability issues and she truly loves my children and they love her.

That would definitely color my decision, OP. She will have parenting obligations inside regular business hours more than an older nanny with grown children.

I'd like to fire every woman in my office with young children. They are always taking time off for them or talking on phone with nanny.

You need to talk to her about it. If her mom is live in or always cares for them, I'd assume Mom will do it. Even as a nanny she will be entitled to sick and annual leave so you need a back up plan as well.

I interviewed a nanny that I really like and she seems to be exactly what we are looking for. However, she mentioned that she has 3 kids who are ages 3, 7 and 10 and I worry that could pose challenges for us. She said her mom watches her kids for her so her own childcare isn’t an issue, but what happens if one of the kids gets sick (which is completely normal of course)? Or what happens if her mom get sick? Will she potentially need time off for other kid related things like doctor’s appointments or school meetings?

DH and I have pretty demanding jobs so reliability is really important for us. We often can’t just take the day off short notice without it being a big issue.

I would love to hear from anyone who has a nanny with younger kids to know if this is actually an issue. Would hate to pass up someone great for something that may be a non-issue, but also need to look out for what’s best for us.