Anonymous wrote:I took quite a bit of time last night cooking lamb meatballs from a cookbook I recently bought. The result was pretty good. A little bland. I amazed my husband what he thought an he said it was bland and he missed it not having spices.

I was a little hurt after all the effort I put in. I told him so. He said he was commenting on my cooking abilities but the recipe itself.

Do you make all the dinners? I don't think I would be upset in this case ( because you also said it was bland) BUT, I would give him the opportunity to make dinner for tonight. Just say you are looking forward to his spicy dinner tonight!

My MIL used to joke that the person who complained first about the meal was in charge of it the next time. So people would say...

"The soup is a little salty...But it is just the way I like it"

Btw, this is humor so don't take it literally!

Maybe I'm just reading into what you've written, but it sounds like you put in all this effort for "his" meal and not for you as well.

I cook new, complex recipes sometimes that end up being duds (ask me about trying to make homemade pho, LOL). But it's just part of figuring out what works and what doesn't for the family meal. And whether I want to put that much effort into a meal the next time around. And go from there.

It helps if he's cooking too. My husband and I switch off dinner duty all week. This will put the "effort" part on his radar. We thank each other for dinner every night. Even if it wasn't the best dish we have ever had.

It’s the recipe, not you. Sometimes I spend a lot of time and a recipe doesn’t turn out. That’s ok. I makes note to fix it or not make it again.

Also are your spices old?

Team husband. He was honest and had to communicate so that you won't work hard on that meal again if his liking your meals is something you want.

WTAF?

You want him to lie...?

I'm confused about what the problems is here. In my relationship we value honesty. Perhaps you don't.

It sounds like the recipe actually sucked. Now you won't make it again, which seems like the correct result.

So he agreed with you, but you are upset.

I would right down on a recipe card instructions for DH to go F*CK himself.

He told you what you already acknowledged re the dish. What is your problem? Snowflake-itis?

I created a cookbook of all the best recipes so my family rated recipes all the time. If it’s bland it’s bland … move on to a better recipe.

If you think it wasn’t the recipe but your execution, it takes 3-5 times to get a recipe right. Try again and don’t be so sensitive.

I think he just left out his appreciation for the dinner prep but really it was you who decided to take on the challenge. You are probably mostly frustrated that the recipe did not turn out to be as good as you hoped/worth the effort.

He forgot to do the positivity sandwich:

Positive: I think it's wonderful that you're trying to stretch our palettes by trying out a new cookbook.

Negative: It was good, but maybe we can add some more spices next time?

Positive: Thank you for taking so much time and effort to make delicious meals. I really know how much you love me through your cooking.

Just be honest, and teach him about the sandwich. He'll do better next time.

If yoiu yourself noticed it was bland, what is the problem? Your husband was being honest. Granted, he could have couched it as "Thank you so much for making dinner! I appreciate the new recipe. It's not one of my favorites though - it's a little bland."

Better than lying and then you thinking he loved it and making it repeatedly.

So he's not allowed to express a preference about a meal? Sometimes people don't like certain things. I assume your last sentence intended to say commenting about the meal and not your cooking abilities.

I took quite a bit of time last night cooking lamb meatballs from a cookbook I recently bought. The result was pretty good. A little bland. I amazed my husband what he thought an he said it was bland and he missed it not having spices.

I was a little hurt after all the effort I put in. I told him so. He said he was commenting on my cooking abilities but the recipe itself.