I’d check in with the 30-something daughter: “Your mom gave me your prom dresses and Halloween costumes because she thinks my kids will want them and then maybe you’ll have kids and want them. We won’t use them. Do you want them? If not, are you okay if we donate them elsewhere?”

I’d bet my paycheck that the daughter would tell you to toss them—not donate but toss them.

Anonymous wrote:Give them back

Do not donate them, that's no t ok

+1

Give them back

Do not donate them, that's no t ok

Tell her if your kids play with them they won't be in a condition to potentially hand down. Ask her if she wants them back or if your kids can use them no strings attached. If kept for your kids use, donate, toss as you want.

Anonymous wrote:Bring them back on your next visit, announce that your attic heat will ruin them and you'd rather she keep them since they hold her memories. Don't give in. Tell her she's given you too much anxiety!

+1

I would wash them and throw them into a dress up box OR just give them back the next time you see her. Or, talk to her daughter and see if she wants the stuff right now.

I think a lot of older relatives grew up without much money or had to be very frugal. They think they are being helpful, but it's more stress to store this stuff for years on the off chance someone wants it back.

Does it matter if they’re “your style” when they’re meant for the KIDS to dress up in? Toss a few in a dress up bin and let them decide for themselves if they want to play dress up with them or not. You can donate them to a preschool or head start classroom. Kids wear the darndest things to play make believe. Lighten up! Put them in the dryer with a dryer sheet to get rid of the musty smell. Or tell you can’t wash them so they’ll get ruined.

Anonymous wrote:Can you say you don't have space for them or the ability to store them properly so they wouldn't get ruined?

Maybe even fib that there was a recent water leak in your storage space and now you’re sure you can’t store safely.

Bring them back on your next visit, announce that your attic heat will ruin them and you'd rather she keep them since they hold her memories. Don't give in. Tell her she's given you too much anxiety!

Ask the daughter if she wants them. If she says no, just rid of them.

Bring them back to her. Your choices are to mildly offend her now vs break her heart later if she does eventually want them back.

Can you say you don't have space for them or the ability to store them properly so they wouldn't get ruined?

Anonymous wrote:Just store them and never look at them again.

I would never agree to store items for someone else. Get rid of them. No guilt.

Just store them and never look at them again.

What would you do in this situation?

DH’s aunt (super sweet and caring lady) recently foisted her adult daughter’s childhood Halloween costumes and dressy prom-type attire on me for my young kids to “grow into”. These items are well over 30 years old. Her daughter is in her late 30s and has no children. The catch is that the aunt told me she may want the items back in the future if her daughter has children. I don’t even want these items to borrow (I won’t use them for my kids - they’re just not my style, outdated and musty). Now do I have to store them on the off-chance she asks for them back in a few years? Or can I dispose of them and then figure out what to say if she ever does want them back? I really don’t want to hang into them. But I don’t want to hurt her feelings. My other option is to foist them on DH’s sister who has younger kids than mine. But that seems cruel.

Thoughts?

And BTW - this is a lesson to me I’m not holding onto my kids’ childhood items… no one is going to want them 30 years from now!