Anonymous
Post 06/23/2021 08:41     Subject: Not sure what to think of this
She's not sure she's ready to change positions yet.
Anonymous
Post 06/23/2021 08:39     Subject: Re:Not sure what to think of this
Thank your lucky stars ✨ that you did not hire her, because it appears if you had done so…..
That she automatically would being a plethora of problems later down the line. 👎🏼
Anonymous
Post 06/23/2021 08:37     Subject: Re:Not sure what to think of this
I am a Nanny & see huge red flags 🚩blowing in your face here.

For one, this person is not following through on her word to you.
This in itself will definitely be problematic if you hired her.

Also > For her not to send you her references shows that she had a change of heart & is no longer serious in your position.
However I agree that she should text you and let you know vs. simply ignoring your texts.

I strongly encourage you to continue your search.
For her not to provide references to you likely means that she has none who will speak highly of her or that she is saving them for another employer.
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2021 19:25     Subject: Not sure what to think of this
Anonymous wrote:We have been interviewing for a new full time nanny and after a bunch of duds finally found someone who seems amazing and checks every box. After an initial FaceTime interview we met her two Saturdays ago and had another good conversation. We told her we are very interested in hiring her pending her reference check. She said she would send them right away and really likes our family and thinks the job is exactly what she is looking for. She also said she hadn’t really started looking yet and would love to not have to go on a million interviews, etc.

She never sent us her references so last Tuesday I sent a text to ask if she can send right away so we can get it done and she replied that she would get them to us right away when she gets home later. Of course she didn’t send. I texted again on Friday morning and this time got no response. She finally responded this morning and said she is still working on it and will be in touch soon.

It’s truly odd that she hasn’t sent her references and not sure if maybe she just isn’t interested, but if she does respond eventually should we even still proceed?

She says she has been working with the same family for the past 7 years and they were parting ways mutually since they kids are older, so not sure what the issue would be.


Figuring out when they can talk, giving notice, trying to figure out how to cover something up
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2021 13:41     Subject: Not sure what to think of this
This is OP. It’s totally fine for a nanny to push back and tell me that she prefers not to give out references until after an offer has been made or even that she needs more time to get her references in order. I would have no issue with that at all. However, I find the radio silence totally odd. At this point clearly something happened and she isn’t interested in the job. A quick text to say thanks but I am going in a different direction would be much appreciated since we are basically starting our search over now.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2021 20:33     Subject: Re:Not sure what to think of this
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would actually guess she's having trouble getting ahold of one of her former families. People move/change numbers, etc, and if she's been with her current family 7 years, she may have lost touch with the family before that. I would never give people out as references without touching base with them first.


Wouldn't you do that work before you started the job search? Not doing so, if you're definitely looking, seems like a level of disorganization that would be a red flag for me.


+1. This, unfortunately.



-1. I don’t read it that way at all. The nanny clearly told OP she hadn’t actively started looking for her next position.

And I really want to stress this to both nannies and employers: do not give your references until the nanny has been offered the position and knows she will take it. No one wants to take five reference calls from jobs the employers haven’t offered or the nanny isn’t sure if she will take. Reference calls last between 30 to 45 minutes and too many are absolutely a burden.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2021 14:23     Subject: Re:Not sure what to think of this
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would actually guess she's having trouble getting ahold of one of her former families. People move/change numbers, etc, and if she's been with her current family 7 years, she may have lost touch with the family before that. I would never give people out as references without touching base with them first.


Wouldn't you do that work before you started the job search? Not doing so, if you're definitely looking, seems like a level of disorganization that would be a red flag for me.


+1. This, unfortunately.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2021 11:53     Subject: Re:Not sure what to think of this
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would actually guess she's having trouble getting ahold of one of her former families. People move/change numbers, etc, and if she's been with her current family 7 years, she may have lost touch with the family before that. I would never give people out as references without touching base with them first.


Wouldn't you do that work before you started the job search? Not doing so, if you're definitely looking, seems like a level of disorganization that would be a red flag for me.


She specifically said she hasn't really started looking yet. She probably dipped her toe into the employment waters and happened to get really lucky.

Plus, I'm a well paid, mid-career office worker, and I don't think I've generally attempted to reach out to my references until I'm close to an offer or have to send them. This has never been a problem, I've always been able to get people quickly. Didn't even occur to me that having these all set before you are fully job searching is something that should be done.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2021 11:31     Subject: Re:Not sure what to think of this
Anonymous wrote:I would actually guess she's having trouble getting ahold of one of her former families. People move/change numbers, etc, and if she's been with her current family 7 years, she may have lost touch with the family before that. I would never give people out as references without touching base with them first.


Wouldn't you do that work before you started the job search? Not doing so, if you're definitely looking, seems like a level of disorganization that would be a red flag for me.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2021 11:28     Subject: Re:Not sure what to think of this
I would actually guess she's having trouble getting ahold of one of her former families. People move/change numbers, etc, and if she's been with her current family 7 years, she may have lost touch with the family before that. I would never give people out as references without touching base with them first.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2021 10:35     Subject: Re:Not sure what to think of this
Anonymous wrote:Not odd really. No one wants to burn out their references unless you’ve been offered and have decided to take the job. Getting even five calls for a reference check is a burden. My guess is that she’s about to take another job and is trying to hold you off.


This would be my bet, too.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2021 10:32     Subject: Re:Not sure what to think of this
Our wonderful and amazing nanny wouldn’t give us her references until the job was offered pending references and she decided to take it. Nannies have lots of positions in their careers and don’t want their references to be bothered unless it’s a done deal.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2021 10:31     Subject: Not sure what to think of this
If she’s as great as you think, she may be waiting for her references to confirm they are available (being super polite).
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2021 10:30     Subject: Re:Not sure what to think of this
Not odd really. No one wants to burn out their references unless you’ve been offered and have decided to take the job. Getting even five calls for a reference check is a burden. My guess is that she’s about to take another job and is trying to hold you off.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2021 10:26     Subject: Not sure what to think of this
We have been interviewing for a new full time nanny and after a bunch of duds finally found someone who seems amazing and checks every box. After an initial FaceTime interview we met her two Saturdays ago and had another good conversation. We told her we are very interested in hiring her pending her reference check. She said she would send them right away and really likes our family and thinks the job is exactly what she is looking for. She also said she hadn’t really started looking yet and would love to not have to go on a million interviews, etc.

She never sent us her references so last Tuesday I sent a text to ask if she can send right away so we can get it done and she replied that she would get them to us right away when she gets home later. Of course she didn’t send. I texted again on Friday morning and this time got no response. She finally responded this morning and said she is still working on it and will be in touch soon.

It’s truly odd that she hasn’t sent her references and not sure if maybe she just isn’t interested, but if she does respond eventually should we even still proceed?

She says she has been working with the same family for the past 7 years and they were parting ways mutually since they kids are older, so not sure what the issue would be.