Meh. I've not seen a well dressed teen in this area once in the whole of the past 15 years.

OP, let her dress herself. It’s her right and it’s not worth the battle. We have different tastes than our teens and that’s okay.

And ignore the PP who is throwing bombs to incite people.

Anonymous wrote:She is dressing trashy. And stomps off when it is pointed out. Disrespectful.

Getting good grades is a normal expectation from all kids. This is not something worth getting a nobel prize for. And it does not absolve her of disrespectful behavior.

“Dressing trashy” is subjective. You’ve only been conditioned to think it is trashy because this is America, we are puritanical and we are also victims of toxic masculinity that tells women that we are the problem, not the men who rape and harass women.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She is beautiful and has a lovely figure (she is a dancer and swimmer). I feel like the shorts and crop tops look trashy honestly. I would never say this to her. I say things like "too revealing" or "too mature." I bought a couple of "tasteful" crop tops at the beginning of the season at her begging and hoping that that would shut her up. It didn't and she has since bought several more at Target with her own money. After purchasing yet another couple today at Target with friends, I told her "I think that's enough crop tops." She was horribly offended and stormed upstairs.

I think the issue is that you haven’t engaged her in a real dialogue about what she’s wearing. You tossed out a judgment that landed like a grenade.

First thing to do is to get yourself together and work to remove the judgment. Get it off your facial expressions and your tone and your words. Then approach her to say that you want to sit down and have a conversation where you and she can work out an agreement about what she wears. One way you can show you respect her is to ask her what outfits she likes. Why does she like them? Where does she get her ideas from about how to dress. Listen and stay focused on simply understanding her. Again, no judgment. Then share where you are. You can share your discomfort with particular shorts. What can you live with? What exactly is a non-starter-never-leave-the-house outfit? Which ones do you like? Which ones are just not appealing to you, but you don’t care if she wears because you know you don’t want to make everything an issue? Talk calmly with her. If you feel like your buttons are getting pushed, take a break and say you’ll come back to it. I’m confident you can talk with her and figure out what outfits can work for both of you.

She is dressing trashy. And stomps off when it is pointed out. Disrespectful.

Getting good grades is a normal expectation from all kids. This is not something worth getting a nobel prize for. And it does not absolve her of disrespectful behavior.

It’s a phase. Not worth fighting over.

Anonymous wrote:Wow! What kind of parenting is happening that a 13 yr old has the balls to be so disrespectful?

Sorry. This is the kid you raised. This is directly the result of how much effort you put in the parenting from 0-13.

DP. Wow this one seismic judgmental leap.

Anonymous wrote:Wow! What kind of parenting is happening that a 13 yr old has the balls to be so disrespectful?

Sorry. This is the kid you raised. This is directly the result of how much effort you put in the parenting from 0-13.

Which part is disrespectful? She gets straight A’s in all honors classes abs glowing reviews from her teachers. She is a well-loved babysitter and mother’s helper in our neighborhood. Yes I dislike her clothing but I don’t see where that equates what you are saying.

Wow! What kind of parenting is happening that a 13 yr old has the balls to be so disrespectful?

Sorry. This is the kid you raised. This is directly the result of how much effort you put in the parenting from 0-13.

OP here. She is beautiful and has a lovely figure (she is a dancer and swimmer). I feel like the shorts and crop tops look trashy honestly. I would never say this to her. I say things like "too revealing" or "too mature." I bought a couple of "tasteful" crop tops at the beginning of the season at her begging and hoping that that would shut her up. It didn't and she has since bought several more at Target with her own money. After purchasing yet another couple today at Target with friends, I told her "I think that's enough crop tops." She was horribly offended and stormed upstairs.

Isn’t this the nature of teenagers? Compliment her then maybe she will change.

Why do you hate what she wears? Do the clothes look bad because she's overweight? Do you think she looks too grown up? This is not the hill to die on, IMO. Clothes are a way to express oneself. As long as she wears appropriate clothes for certain events, etc, I would let it go.

I wouldn't let my DD get any clothes I didn't approve of, so I never bought her shorts that showed her ass cheeks. But my DD did go through a phase of wearing all black, a phase of wearing two stars under her eyes, and now she does low pigtails and heavy eyeliner and looks very emo.

Her clothes are not her heart. I only ever say something complimentary, or keep my mouth shut. I think it significantly contributes to keeping our relationship good. My parents hated what I wore as a teenager, and I keep that in mind.

Theres a lot to breakdown here

1. Are you purchasing clothes or is she?
2. Have you had discussions about sexuality, dressing, etc.
3. Are you worried she is growing up "too soon"?
4. Is this in-line with what her friends are doing?

Please help me get over this.

Shorts are way too tight and short. They look like they don't fit her. And she pairs them with either t-shirts that are so big it looks like she isn't wearing any shorts at all, or crop tops.

There isn't a single outfit that she likes and I like.