If you get a divorce and he has half/partial custody, then he'll be engaging in this behavior without you there to monitor or regulate. Ironically, if my husband was a shitty parent I would not have gotten a divorce because I wouldn't have trusted him with my kids. I know this is very cynical, but something to consider. I agree he needs therapy for his anger, assuming he acknowledges that it's a problem. What an ass....

Divorce

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I'm of the camp that I'd want specifics. A hand on the shoulder to encourage the teen to move along, and the teen says push or shove? Or is this a two-handed shove to the torso, that actually moves the teen? I'm ok with the former, not the latter.

Exactly.

Ok, I'm of the camp that I'd want specifics. A hand on the shoulder to encourage the teen to move along, and the teen says push or shove? Or is this a two-handed shove to the torso, that actually moves the teen? I'm ok with the former, not the latter.

100% touch my kid divorce.

OP your poor kids living in a powder keg. Nice way to parent. And you have continued to put your kids in harm's way.

I would suggest parenting therapy with a trained child psychologist who works with behavioral issues. Not because your teen sounds out of control, but because your DH does not know how to do basic parenting. When you're in the session, you bring up the physical stuff and let the psychologist tell your DH not to do it. When we did therapy like this, the psychologist made totally clear that she would not work with parents who used physical punishments. I can't say that this worked 100% with DH, but he heard and took it on board.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would you handle DH who occasionally pushes kids when they don't behave? I have lost all respect for DH who has done this more than once, perfect example to today it's the last day of school and 13 year old started watching TV . but dad came home and asked him to turn it off because he still uses that space to work from home. Teen didn't move fast enough and was not being understanding of a conference call about to start.. so DH turns into a man-child and pushes teen. WTF? I was working upstairs when it happened, I came down and yelled at DH that under no circumstances is he ever to lay a hand on the boys. The man-child said he had no choice.. Teen says he was about to do it, but dad lost his s*hit

Why don't you two switch working spaces?
Your son was disrespectful to turn on the tv in a space he knew your husband needs for work. Are you going to get your son some type of "classes" on respectful behavior? Or will you relinquish your parental rights?

You don't push anyone for any reason, period. It's terrible parenting and does nothing to promote respect.

OP, in answer to your question: I watch my idiot DH like a hawk when he gets into conflicts with our DS. If he touches him, I tell him to stop. Sometimes I remove DS from the room. Then I tell DH after, "under no circumstances do you ever lay a hand on me or DS." And I also have had to stand up for myself when DH puts hands on me. (Nothing like hitting, but things like standing in my way or pushing my hand aside.) DH is a hotheaded *ss but at this point he knows that I will call 911 if he is physically aggressive, so he reigns it in. I also think it's important for DS to hear me stand up for him.

Anonymous wrote:How would you handle DH who occasionally pushes kids when they don't behave? I have lost all respect for DH who has done this more than once, perfect example to today it's the last day of school and 13 year old started watching TV . but dad came home and asked him to turn it off because he still uses that space to work from home. Teen didn't move fast enough and was not being understanding of a conference call about to start.. so DH turns into a man-child and pushes teen. WTF? I was working upstairs when it happened, I came down and yelled at DH that under no circumstances is he ever to lay a hand on the boys. The man-child said he had no choice.. Teen says he was about to do it, but dad lost his s*hit

Why don't you two switch working spaces?
Your son was disrespectful to turn on the tv in a space he knew your husband needs for work. Are you going to get your son some type of "classes" on respectful behavior? Or will you relinquish your parental rights?

Since this is not a one time situation I would recommend anger management counseling, not parenting classes. And teach your sons that they're to tell your DH that his behavior is unacceptable, because it is.

How would you handle DH who occasionally pushes kids when they don't behave? I have lost all respect for DH who has done this more than once, perfect example to today it's the last day of school and 13 year old started watching TV . but dad came home and asked him to turn it off because he still uses that space to work from home. Teen didn't move fast enough and was not being understanding of a conference call about to start.. so DH turns into a man-child and pushes teen. WTF? I was working upstairs when it happened, I came down and yelled at DH that under no circumstances is he ever to lay a hand on the boys. The man-child said he had no choice.. Teen says he was about to do it, but dad lost his s*hit