What a silly question. Being successful has a greater chance of achieving and maintaining happiness. Being unsuccessful has a greater chance of being unhappy and depressed. Simple math.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Secretly yes.

Dp why? You know someone like you is wishing your kids are failures, right

That’s only logical that they would. And it doesn’t matter to me.

No, I want my kid to be happy and to define success for themselves. I have seen and experienced how wanting your kids to "win" at life sets everyone up for misery and disappointment. The more narrowly you define what success is for your kid, the more likely they are to push against it. And if they don't, their life won't belong to them and that will haunt them, too. I agree with the PP who said this attitude is completely toxic. For everyone involved.

That said, in DC I constantly meet parents who clearly have this approach and they are exhausting and are probably messing up their kids while simultaneously making everything harder for the rest of us. I even have close friends who I think, if you asked them, would say they don't think this. But the way they talk to and about their kid, and the way they choose to compare their kid to others unnecessarily all the time, says otherwise. Even people who know this is bad can't help themselves sometimes.

Yes I do. They won’t though and I made peace with that.

Anonymous wrote:Secretly yes.

Dp why? You know someone like you is wishing your kids are failures, right

I want my kid to do their best.

Yes. I want them to become their peers bosses. I want them to be among the best.

I want my kids to be sucessful. It doesn't mean I want other kids NOT to be successful. In fact, I wish every person could teach their full potential.

Secretly yes.

I want my kids to be successful enough that they can be happy, support themselves and support their future family. What other people’s kids are doing is unimportant to me. What weirdly competitive people do you hang out with, OP?

Anonymous wrote:What weird question. I want my kids to be happy. I don’t compare to future other kids. I want my kids to do well in school and life in general

Why? I'm curious because my friend seems to be like this.

No. I want them to be happy. I don't care what that looks like. That being said...will being destitute make them happy? Or in a job they hate? I want them to understand that happiness often means setting goals and working hard to achieve them. If that goal is working at a hair salon or getting an MD doesn't matter to me.

Comparison like this is completely toxic.

What weird question. I want my kids to be happy. I don’t compare to future other kids. I want my kids to do well in school and life in general

Successful according to your personal definition of success.

Why or why not?