Anonymous wrote:Certainly haven’t found this for my child with special needs but adults are also entirely unaccepting of him too, so it’s not being taught. It’s all “be kind” to people with wheelchairs for example but be as mean as you feel like it to children with cognitive issues etc. Lots of work to be done on that front. Acceptance isn’t innate for some things.

This is such a good point. I have encountered this in many areas of life. Many people pride themselves on being very accepting of other races or sexualities, for instance, but have an obvious and visceral distaste for poverty, for instance. That gets passed on to kids easily and often without a word being spoken.

Personally I think it is better to teach/demonstrate empathy than to be proactive about talking about tolerance. My goal is for my kid to be able to respond to people who are different than her by withholding judgment. It doesn't actually matter to me if her friend group looks like a Benetton commercial, but I want to teach her humility and empathy so that her response to people who are different is something like "Huh, I'm not familiar with that but I probably just don't know enough about it to understand." I think that's a more useful skill.

Certainly haven’t found this for my child with special needs but adults are also entirely unaccepting of him too, so it’s not being taught. It’s all “be kind” to people with wheelchairs for example but be as mean as you feel like it to children with cognitive issues etc. Lots of work to be done on that front. Acceptance isn’t innate for some things.

Aaaaaand this is why I am cautious about the amount and quality of the time my kid spends with grandparents and certain other family members who are not accepting and just more limited people all around.I don't restrict access, but for instance, my mom has pressed several times for us to leave DD with them for a few days so we can have a couples weekend, and there's no way I will do this while my child is still at such an impressionable age because my parents have some extremely upsetting notions about gender, sexuality, and race, and I don't want to confuse a child who currently is on a really great trajectory with understanding empathy, tolerance, and open-mindedness.

I saw how some of my nieces and nephews made a shift around 6 or 7 where I think they internalized some of the BS my parents say all the time and I'm not going to let it happen to my kid. She basically never spends time with why parents unless I am present or can debrief immediately after. She's even started contradicting them herself, which I know they hate but I always tell her I'm proud of her for speaking up when she hears something that doesn't sound kind or fair.

Kids are accepting but that also means they can learn to accept inherent unfairness and prejudice. You have to stay on it.

The best thing in a world is a child's laugh.

The worst thing in a world is a spoiled kid.

Ya kids are nice and with a good empathetic family kids learn to be a great future for everyone

There is pretty good literature in sociology and anthropology about humans being instinctively inclined to share and cooperate much more than they are inclined to compete. But of course, then for some it clicks that taking advantage of a cooperative environment for individual gain can be done, and voila, you have the tragedy of the commons.

Kids are lovely, for the most part. And those who seem they are not lovely are probably dealing with some issues and just need more time, patience and love.

Children do what they’re taught. Even children inclined to do something else will do what is taught. And more is caught than taught.

You son had a reaction you should be pleased with.

Anonymous wrote:And yet, in another thread posted today, clearly kids are NOT very accepting since they teased a boy about his pants until he was crying and the teacher had to send an email home about it.

So there's still more work to be done on the acceptance front.

You mean this boy?
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-pants-speech-north-carolina-b1861286.html
Former president’s appearance sparked social media comparisons to 90s hip-hop duo Kris Kross.

My teens have strong opinions about poverty, the environment, government/corporate surveillance and racism. They really don't care who people sleep with unless they are one of the people involved.

Some of this is kid personality too! I have one rigid kid and one very accepting kid. The rigid kid needs a lot more instruction and help on being accepting. He's still a preschooler but constantly says things like "boys can't have long hair" or boys don't wear earrings. We have to say that boys CAN have long hair, but most boys have short so you might not see it as often. He's a bit rigid about a lot of things though. He actually asked a girl in his daycare class why she still peed a diaper and told her she should go potty and be a big kid.

Kids are amazing until parents and society ruin them

Anonymous wrote:And yet, in another thread posted today, clearly kids are NOT very accepting since they teased a boy about his pants until he was crying and the teacher had to send an email home about it.

So there's still more work to be done on the acceptance front.

A lot of this starts at home...which can be a problem if you're a kid has poor role models (which is very common).

Kids are accepting if they are raised in accepting homes and communities. Kids raised by bigots are usually not accepting at all. I’ve heard some awful stuff come out of the mouths of under-8 year olds.

And yet, in another thread posted today, clearly kids are NOT very accepting since they teased a boy about his pants until he was crying and the teacher had to send an email home about it.

So there's still more work to be done on the acceptance front.

What age is this OP?

They don't know anything else.

So DS has known about how men can be with men, women can be with women and simple things like that. We haven't really gone into pride, Trans, and other LGBQT+ things yet. The other day he asked about the rainbow flags and I explained Pride Month and he asked about what the rest of the letters were so I explained it. Then he asked why it was a big thing so we talked about how they had been treated, their rights, etc. His reaction was pretty much. "oh. That's weird. Why would anyone care what makes someone happy."

In talking to their friends, it seems like this was a fairly common reaction with little kids. "oh OK that's cool".

I remember growing up and being LGBQT+ was just gaining support but was still pretty hush hush. Kids were still made fun of.

I just wish kids could hang out to this level of acceptance their whole lives, but I suppose as more and more influences them, things change.