This is my story and I hope it helps someone. I was at SGF and had 6 miscarriages with my eggs and donor eggs that the doctor pushed on me. Then I lost my child at 18 weeks and they told me I couldn't carry my baby even though I had a biological child and carried him to full term. They refused to do a DNA fragmentation test and I pushed for it and paid out of pocket. Once we got the results my Dh had very high fragmentation. I went to cornell did IVF with my own eggs and before FET went to Chicago to Dr. summers to get a trans-abdominal cerclage. We just had our rainbow child last month. Please go to Cornell or CCRM colorado as SGF is not the best place they push for donor eggs and then surrogate prematurely.

Fwiw - we just did a frozen donor egg cycle and out of 5 blasts only 2 are PGS normal…and of those two, one is a poor quality day 6 so not as likely. We haven’t done a FET yet, so who knows how it goes….but personally I’d be a bit reluctant to go w a surrogate just based on a couple of transfers of untested embryos, especially when you have had a successful pregnancy not all that long ago.

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps you are not ready or willing to have a child by a surrogate? And that is why this makes you so uneasy? There is nothing wrong with that at all.
You don't tell your age today, but probably a bit over 40? You must decide for yourself. The doctor is just there to give advice and his opinion.

The doctor’s suggesting the easiest option for him. He’s not the one who’s going to foot the bill.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps you are not ready or willing to have a child by a surrogate? And that is why this makes you so uneasy? There is nothing wrong with that at all.
You don't tell your age today, but probably a bit over 40? You must decide for yourself. The doctor is just there to give advice and his opinion.

OP here - I’m 41. If surrogacy is our only option left then we’d be at the end of the road. Aside from not being sure if emotionally or financially I could ever be ready for surrogacy - we’re moving to Europe this summer for three years and it’s banned in the country we’ll be living in and the surrounding countries. Doing another donor cycle in Europe would be an option (and much cheaper than here in the US).

We have the appointment scheduled for the DNA fragmentation test and I’m also going to do a consult for doing a laparoscopy. I did have a c-section previously and I’ve read that some people have undetected scarring that can interfere with conception. I just want to cover all bases to see if it’s worthwhile to try donor egg again.

I understand that the doctor is telling me the most likely way to get a baby is surrogacy but I think he should have been advising me on more diagnostic options first before moving onto to surrogacy - instead I had to research it myself and advocate to get more tests done. Also, I feel like when you’re in the shared risk program they push too quickly to move on to plan B and kick you out of the program. I was kicked out of the OE shared risk after 3 cycles and he confirmed I would have been kicked out of the donor egg shared risk at this point too - after 1 cycle and 4 FETS (although given the move we didn’t have time to keep going anyway).

That sounds tough and emotionally draining! Hugs! Moving and trying for another and all the legal issues. Perhaps a second opinion or try in Europe? You are only 41, after all. If I were you, I would probably go with another cycle in Europe.
Hugs and good luck with the trying and with your move!

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps you are not ready or willing to have a child by a surrogate? And that is why this makes you so uneasy? There is nothing wrong with that at all.
You don't tell your age today, but probably a bit over 40? You must decide for yourself. The doctor is just there to give advice and his opinion.

OP here - I’m 41. If surrogacy is our only option left then we’d be at the end of the road. Aside from not being sure if emotionally or financially I could ever be ready for surrogacy - we’re moving to Europe this summer for three years and it’s banned in the country we’ll be living in and the surrounding countries. Doing another donor cycle in Europe would be an option (and much cheaper than here in the US).

We have the appointment scheduled for the DNA fragmentation test and I’m also going to do a consult for doing a laparoscopy. I did have a c-section previously and I’ve read that some people have undetected scarring that can interfere with conception. I just want to cover all bases to see if it’s worthwhile to try donor egg again.

I understand that the doctor is telling me the most likely way to get a baby is surrogacy but I think he should have been advising me on more diagnostic options first before moving onto to surrogacy - instead I had to research it myself and advocate to get more tests done. Also, I feel like when you’re in the shared risk program they push too quickly to move on to plan B and kick you out of the program. I was kicked out of the OE shared risk after 3 cycles and he confirmed I would have been kicked out of the donor egg shared risk at this point too - after 1 cycle and 4 FETS (although given the move we didn’t have time to keep going anyway).

Perhaps you are not ready or willing to have a child by a surrogate? And that is why this makes you so uneasy? There is nothing wrong with that at all.
You don't tell your age today, but probably a bit over 40? You must decide for yourself. The doctor is just there to give advice and his opinion.

No, I would not move onto a surrogate yet either. Wishing you luck.

You have a proven uterus. How often do uterus issues come up where someone can carry a child at 37 and then not be able to a few years later? It seems to me that the egg/sperm is more likely the problem than the uterus. I’d want a lot more tests and another round (test the embryos this time) before going to surrogacy.

I would absolutely ask for the sperm DNA test before moving on to surrogacy. It’s a huge step and I would want to have as much information as possible.

Anonymous wrote:Why won’t they do a DNA fragmentation test? My doctor at SG ordered one after 2 failed FETs.

OP here - glad to hear other doctors recommend the test. Both my SGF doctor and the urologist my husband went to said the test wasn’t useful because the studies didn’t show it to be a good predictor - i.e., there’s no proof that sperm with high fragmentation affects the embryo quality. I have read recent studies (in 2020-2021) that disagree with that though. Before moving on to donor eggs I was a CCRM and my doctor there had suggested doing another OE cycle using 50% donor sperm to see if sperm could be the issue. I ended up deciding to move on to donor egg so we didn’t try that and moved back to SGF so that we could do the shared risk. We asked my SGF doctor if it would be worthwhile to try donor embryo and his opinion was that it would not be because it’s a uterus issue (although there’s no physical indication of any uterus or lining issues).

Anonymous wrote:Did you do ERA?

OP here - yes, I did an ERA after the second failed one. Transferred the other two one day later per the ERA results. My doctor recently told me that SGF no longer recommends ERA because they completed a study and found no difference in success rates.

Why won’t they do a DNA fragmentation test? My doctor at SG ordered one after 2 failed FETs.

Did you do ERA?

Anonymous wrote:I’m a patient at SGF and just found out the last of our 4 embryos from a donor egg cycle didn’t take. We didn’t PGT test the embryos (I wish we had in retrospect) and 1 of the 4 took but I miscarried at 6 weeks. I was in the donor shared risk program and the doctor says it’s time to move on to a surrogate. It seems premature to call it quits after just 1 donor and 4 FETs of untested embryos. Did it take anyone more than 4 FETs to have success?

We did do split donor eggs and I know the other couple who got the same eggs conceived so the donor eggs seem to not be the issue. I finally got my doctor to order a DNA fragmentation test for my husband’s sperm but the doctor basically said it’s not a sperm issue it’s a uterus issue. Why would he suggest surrogacy before even recommending all other diagnostic testing?! The 5 failed IVF OE cycles were attributed to an egg quality issue (I was 39-40 at the time but had excellent numbers on paper) but now donor egg has failed so now it’s being attributed to an unknown uterus issue - even though I have a healthy child I conceived and carried with no issues at age 37. It just seems crazy to me that sperm issues are never considered as long as the count, motility, etc. look good. All of my #s look good too and that didn’t mean anything! Sorry, that last part was just to vent but I don’t feel like I’m not getting the best advice from my doctor.

I’d love to hear from others who are (or where) in a similar boat.

Without testing, you don't know for sure that the donor eggs you received weren't the issue. Maybe they got all the good ones? Sorry, OP. Hugs.

I’m a patient at SGF and just found out the last of our 4 embryos from a donor egg cycle didn’t take. We didn’t PGT test the embryos (I wish we had in retrospect) and 1 of the 4 took but I miscarried at 6 weeks. I was in the donor shared risk program and the doctor says it’s time to move on to a surrogate. It seems premature to call it quits after just 1 donor and 4 FETs of untested embryos. Did it take anyone more than 4 FETs to have success?

We did do split donor eggs and I know the other couple who got the same eggs conceived so the donor eggs seem to not be the issue. I finally got my doctor to order a DNA fragmentation test for my husband’s sperm but the doctor basically said it’s not a sperm issue it’s a uterus issue. Why would he suggest surrogacy before even recommending all other diagnostic testing?! The 5 failed IVF OE cycles were attributed to an egg quality issue (I was 39-40 at the time but had excellent numbers on paper) but now donor egg has failed so now it’s being attributed to an unknown uterus issue - even though I have a healthy child I conceived and carried with no issues at age 37. It just seems crazy to me that sperm issues are never considered as long as the count, motility, etc. look good. All of my #s look good too and that didn’t mean anything! Sorry, that last part was just to vent but I don’t feel like I’m not getting the best advice from my doctor.

I’d love to hear from others who are (or where) in a similar boat.