I definitely second the advice that you should just focus on the first 6 months. One consistent theme I’ve noticed in my friends who are overwhelmed is that they are purchasing items the baby won’t use until 6 months, 18 months, 2 years. And you still have to store it. Amazon and Target will still exist after your baby is here, so you don’t have to buy everything now.

I would also be mindful of advice from minimalists, largely because I find that definition varies so so widely. For example, I prefer luxury products and I prefer to buy things ONCE. So we own one high chair, one car seat. I consider myself a minimalist bc I hate excess and any waste. Another friend of mine fancies herself a minimalist because she doesn’t buy gadgets, and would prefer to hand shake formula bottles and put the bottle in a pot of water to warm (as opposed to buying a Brezza). Another friend thinks herself a minimalist because she thinks cribs are a waste. It all varies a ton.

This might not be helpful. And might make it worse. So sorry about that.

But while I also found the registry process overwhelming - going through it and making decisions and talking to other parents and reading about stuff helped me (and my husband) figure out how we were going to parent our baby. People suggested swaddles and a white noise machine, and in looking at it, we learned how important those two are to calming infants. End up registering for really good black out curtains too. Researching strollers and carriers had us thinking about when/how/why we would be taking the baby out and what was important to us. We don't have a car - how were we getting to the pediatrician? Did I need a breastfeeding cover, or was I just going to get used to my boob being out in front of people (opted for the latter, honestly)? What was important to us in a stroller? Our nursery runs hot - how are we going to deal with that? Were we going to buy pacifiers? What about formula? Would a "just in case" approach be better? Or better to just start how we wanted to go on? How were we going to set up our home and use our space? Were we going to sterilize bottles or just stick them in the dishwasher (dishwasher)? Use special laundry detergent or our usual (usual)?

Sure, we made some mistakes (turns out a fold up high chair with a large unfolded footprint is dumb in a small space, because you're not going to fold it and unfold it 4 times a day, and it turned out I hated the K'Tan, though so many friends loved it). But we hit much more than we missed, and those conversations and decisions helped us get on a path together.

Sounds hokey. And surely lots of people slap together a registry and then figure out stuff later, and do great. But that's not me.

Anyway - if you're feeling overwhelmed, remember you have plenty of time. Pick one area to focus on (say, eating. Or bathing), get if figured out, then move on to the next. It doesn't have to be perfect. But the journey, in my experience, even when it felt like a lot, was really, really valuable.

Best of luck!

Keep in mind most registries allow for your completion discount to be used twice, and has to be used within a certain amount of time of your due date. We used the completion discount a few weeks before my due date to fill in any essential items that weren't already purchased. We then used the discount again a few weeks after baby was born, when we'd identified all of the things we hadn't thought of in our pre-baby lives. Mostly pump/nursing related.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you PP, that's really helpful. I am a minimalist too. What's the difference / advantage of having a 'wishlist' vs registry? I don't plan on having a shower, but relatives want to see a registry to help buy us stuff, so I've been putting one together to (1) give them a place to go and (2) organize for myself what we need. -OP

I didn’t have a shower and I liked it like that kept things simple. I think the Amazon one is called a wishlist it’s the same thing really as a registry. Amazon had diapers and some organic onesies and washcloths and black ans white books I wanted. My in laws bought some cheaper stuff off that.

On baby list I put some fancier stuff and stroller and car seat. My mom bought the car seat and we got the rest big items.

The reason why there’s spreadsheets and it’s overwhelming is because people try to go all the way to toddlerhood to have enough materials for a shower. So for example a high chair you won’t need for four months and you shouldn’t buy it now so it stays in your closet. We used the stroller seat at the table as the high chair until we bought a high chair. We bought new clothes only when he outgrew them. We didn’t use bibs and only needed a 4 swaddles set plus what we got from hospital. We didn’t buy or add toys that were not appropriate for 6 months and under. Just books some rattles a mirror thingie. No swing sets or baby contraptions. Had a blanket we put toys on and moved him around the house. Think first six months and your registry gets easy. Then you reassess and decide what you buy.

We also only thought about stuff we would need within the first 6 months, or maybe even sooner, in order to make it less overwhelming and to not fill our house with a bunch of extra baby stuff before we needed it.

I created an Amazon registry but kept it private, just threw anything and everything on there that I might possibly want to buy at some point with the completion discount. Then I went through that and a couple of lists/suggestions from others and put "the basics" plus a few fun things that I would actually appreciate getting as gifts (like a bottle drying rack that looks like a lawn) on a babylist registry that I shared with anyone who was interested. I didn't expect to have a shower but my aunt insisted on organizing a virtual shower with family for me. After that I added a few more things to the babylist registry (after the baby was born) that I realized I still needed/wanted in order to get it with the discount. I also used the Amazon registry discount to get a few things that we realized we needed after the baby was already here.

I struggled with this so much! Another minimalist, plus we live in a small apartment in a big city but our family live in huge houses in small towns, and we were very concerned about them buying us a billion things we would never have room for so I worried over ever little thing I put on the registry.

If I did it again, this is what I'd do:
- Your essentials are: stroller, carseat, one or two places for baby to sleep, diaper bag, a baby carrier, some clothes in the 0-3 size (like maybe 5-10 outfits), a changing pad, some bottles. You also need at least a few swaddle blankets or similar, but you don't need to register for those if you don't want to -- they just come into your life somehow. We wound up with approximately 72 of them somehow.

- Go to Wirecutter and Lucie's Lists, read the reviews for these items, add them to your list. Throw on a box of diapers (if newborn, make it a small box, but I recommend getting the next size up and just buying newborn if you need them), some wipes/soap/diaper cream.

- Now you are essentially done if you want to be, you can relax. And when you relax, start daydreaming about your new baby, the nursery, how you want to spend your maternity leave. And just start adding things here and there based on that daydreaming. Want to to take some trips with baby? Register for a good travel stroller. Want your nursery to be a dream? Register for fancy decor. Planning to breastfeed? Pump, rocking chair, etc. None of this stuff is essential. But you already registered for your essentials, so you're fine. You can add this stuff or not. This is the fun part! Don't overthink it.

A lot of people basically want you to do it backwards, where you do the daydreaming "fun" stuff first, because that's what they want to buy and they aren't having a baby at the moment, or already have one, so they aren't interested in practical logistics. Ignore these people. You are stressed and overwhelmed, take care of the practical logistics first, then you can daydream without panicking that you still don't have a carseat picked out or whatever.

Anonymous wrote:I literally used a friends registry as a guide. Built one off of that, then supplemented as necessary.

This. I had my sister's registry opened in one tab, and pretty much copied everything she had. Amazon has a checklist that breaks down the major categories of baby gear, and then has individual suggestions in there. It makes it slightly less overwhelming, because you can tackle each category over time. First, decide if it's something you actually think you need... there are a lot of extraneous baby items that are a waste of time to some people, but invaluable to others. Second, if you decide you want the item, research which one you like best. This is where your friend's spreadsheet will come in handy, as well as a lot of google searches. Third, figure out if it's something you can buy used. There are a ton of items that you only use for the first few months. I bought a bouncer used, and it's still pristine after two kids. Facebook market place is great for this. The items that you absolutely want new are infant mattress and car seat.

Make sure you register somewhere with a long return policy.

I'd go through the amazon checklists on their registry they are really helpful. They also have a bunch of different lists like favorites and such. I actually would put everything on there like infant car seat, convertible car seat, crib, stroller, and high chair. These larger items are often bought by your moms or grandmas or even a few aunts go in together. I didn't have a shower either. Also, the 15% off registry discount helps a lot. A lot of items never will go on sale and the registry discount is the only way to get them cheaper.

I literally used a friends registry as a guide. Built one off of that, then supplemented as necessary.

I was completely overwhelmed by this (and DH was no help). I used a website called Lucie's List that I found really helpful. It takes you through the categories of things you need, explains some of the main considerations, and gives suggestions (all of which ended up being good, in my experience).

Anonymous wrote:Thank you PP, that's really helpful. I am a minimalist too. What's the difference / advantage of having a 'wishlist' vs registry? I don't plan on having a shower, but relatives want to see a registry to help buy us stuff, so I've been putting one together to (1) give them a place to go and (2) organize for myself what we need. -OP

I didn’t have a shower and I liked it like that kept things simple. I think the Amazon one is called a wishlist it’s the same thing really as a registry. Amazon had diapers and some organic onesies and washcloths and black ans white books I wanted. My in laws bought some cheaper stuff off that.

On baby list I put some fancier stuff and stroller and car seat. My mom bought the car seat and we got the rest big items.

The reason why there’s spreadsheets and it’s overwhelming is because people try to go all the way to toddlerhood to have enough materials for a shower. So for example a high chair you won’t need for four months and you shouldn’t buy it now so it stays in your closet. We used the stroller seat at the table as the high chair until we bought a high chair. We bought new clothes only when he outgrew them. We didn’t use bibs and only needed a 4 swaddles set plus what we got from hospital. We didn’t buy or add toys that were not appropriate for 6 months and under. Just books some rattles a mirror thingie. No swing sets or baby contraptions. Had a blanket we put toys on and moved him around the house. Think first six months and your registry gets easy. Then you reassess and decide what you buy.

Thank you PP, that's really helpful. I am a minimalist too. What's the difference / advantage of having a 'wishlist' vs registry? I don't plan on having a shower, but relatives want to see a registry to help buy us stuff, so I've been putting one together to (1) give them a place to go and (2) organize for myself what we need. -OP

I’m a minimalist and did an Amazon and baby list private wishlist that our parents had access to. They bought some stuff and we bought the rest with the discount. Things on list included bassinet stroller swaddles bottles some clothes bedding diapers and wipes and books. Everything else you can get as you go.

So there, that’s how you do it easy and no need for consultants.

I am feeling overwhelmed by the amount of stuff and choices that goes into putting together a registry. I have spreadsheets from friends, but still — it's a lot. Do you guys have any advice on the best way to put together a registry? Or are there any people you can hire / consult that will do it for you?