I think one hour a day is too much if your daughter doesn’t like it. 30 minutes 5 days a week seems a good amount for the non serious student. My kid was in MCYO, did well in Feder, etc., and by high school she was practicing that much or less, by senior year it was 15 minutes 1 or 2 days a week (she practiced a little more on the MCYO music). My kid does learn fast though, so her teacher thought she was practicing more. Regardless, I’d find a different teacher.

It sounds like your DD has out-grown her teacher. Maybe time for a change.

Ugh I had this happen with my violin teacher.

I was at an intense private school doing four hours of homework a night and had other activities. She expected me to practice 1.5 hours a day. I also did group violin two hours a week and orchestra three hours a week.

Realistically, I could practice half an hour a day. There’s nothing wrong with that. It should be fine to choose to practice less if that is your desire. I was not aiming to be a concert violinist.

She would frequently scold me for not practicing more.

All this. An hour a day is a ton of time to practice especially at that age. Just doing school orchestra is fine and can be fun. Our kids do piano but the piano teacher lets them pick most of their own pieces (she helps them find something appropriate for their level). At least half of their pieces are pop songs or Broadway hits which they love it and it’s frankly beautiful. (They played Wrecking Ball on piano and I never appreciated that song until I heard the crescendos on a piano!).
It actually reminds me of my grandmother who used to buy sheet music with her friends to learn the latest hits before they had radio or record players—she has a life long love of music and would play daily until she was over 100. She played songs that were fun for her.

Anonymous wrote:Of course it’s possible to play recreationally!
If
I were your daughter, I’d drop the community orchestra, find a new private teacher, and enjoy playing with the school
Orchestra and my friends

Best thing I ever did in high school was leave the “serious” piano teacher for the sweet lady down the street, who was perfectly happy helping me learn to enjoy making music without any expectation of competition or advancement

Yes, this.

Of course it’s possible to play recreationally!
If
I were your daughter, I’d drop the community orchestra, find a new private teacher, and enjoy playing with the school
Orchestra and my friends

Best thing I ever did in high school was leave the “serious” piano teacher for the sweet lady down the street, who was perfectly happy helping me learn to enjoy making music without any expectation of competition or advancement

I have a recent HS graduate who has played in school orchestra since 4th grade. She always chose not to audition for district-type orchestras as she was not interested. She does do private lessons, but to support her school pieces.

She still enjoys playing and is hoping to play in college, but informally, not as a music major. It is not her main talent, but she stuck with it as she enjoys it.

So, it is very possible to maintain a love for music while playing at a 'recreational' level.

Ask your child what she wants. To me, all those string activities sound like too much if she does not have the passion. And definitely find another teacher!

My kids did orchestra in school and never did private lessons. They enjoyed it.

The music teacher above has some great suggestions so I'll just sort of add on based on my own experience. I played a string instrument quite seriously for most of my childhood, starting at 4 years old. By 16-ish I knew I didn't want to do music professionally but like your DD most of my friends were from orchestra, and I did enjoy the two orchestras I played in. I hated theory exams, solo competitions, and was no longer okay with the amount of practice time I was being told was necessary.

-Ask her what she wants out of music, this is the most important. How often does she want to play? Does she want to be able to join more experienced orchestras, or is she happy playing at home? Does she prefer quartet or orchestra? Does she have any interest in looking outside classical music? Does she want to major in music in college and become a musician? Does she want to be able to teach a bit on the side? Does she want to get to a certain ABRSM or RCM grade level? What role does she think she'd like to have music play in her life when she is older?

-Have a frank conversation with her and the teacher based on the first point. If the teacher can not adapt to meet the goals your daughter has set both short term and long term, you should find a new teacher.

-Reduce the number of obligations she has if she isn't enjoying it. Consider going from weekly to biweekly lessons, or setting goals that can be met with less time practicing (i.e. 30 mins per day vs 1-2+ hours)

-Facilitate exploring ways to make music fun, like taking a class to learn new styles of music and joining a non-classical 'band' or group, or even just a more relaxed quartet of kids at a similar level, or even cutting way back on the string instrument and learning a new instrument to branch out and make it fun again.

Why does she need private lessons, two orchestras and multiple ensembles? Could she do school orchestra and maybe one ensemble?

1. The teacher is not a good fit if expectations are mismatched like this. You could talk to her and explain that she must expect less of this student. Often teachers have one or two stellar students that are on competition tracks, and a majority of others who are on less demanding tracks. However, you need to ask yourself whether this is really the right teacher for your child, because it seems as though this teacher is not teaching your child how to practice efficiently.

2. Which leads me to the most important aspect of any activity - learning how to learn. Meaning, efficient practicing so that progress is made in as short a time as possible. Scales and arpeggios to tune the ear daily, then etudes to practice specific techniques, then the show piece, in short fragments. What matters in all this is for the student to LISTEN to themselves, and notice intonation, rhythm or phrasing issues. It's the hardest part of music training, knowing how to listen. Once you know where the problems are, the job's practically done: you can solve some problems with different fingerings, or bowings, or if it's just a question of muscle memory, practice very slowly, or if it's a tricky rhythm, practice with several different rhythms, etc...

3. So perhaps look for a smarter teacher

Long time violin teacher here, now "retired".

What you are describing is a very common problem when there is a teacher/student goal mismatch.

This does not mean that your teacher is not a good teacher or that your kid isn't trying hard enough. However, once you have taught a student for that long, you really have to get creative and try new things. Someone more stuck in their ways will not be effective at coming up with strategies to produce the kind of individualized result you are looking for.

I am a professional composer, started out as a violinist. Taught violin starting at age 16 when I went to college for violin performance and continued to teach privately for the next 20 years. My goal was never to turn anyone into anything but someone who had a lifelong love of music and who understood they had multiple ways to enter into that world. That meant I had no skin in the game as to specifics like whether or not they won competitions or did one thing over another. My goal was always to help them understand music as a language of expression and communication. My students always made progress because I taught them how to practice and what to listen for, and to be able to have some fun even if its very hard sometimes to play this ridiculous instrument.

A lot of teachers have very specific goals for their students, but they don't necessarily communicate that well, and so their goals and your goals may not match. If a teacher decides that a student must proceed through certain steps and its their way or the highway, that's a turn off. Also, this isn't rocket science despite what anyone will tell you. There are so very many individual ways a musicians path can go.

You have options. First, though, ask your daughter what SHE wants, and if she wants to quit, tell her you asked someone on the internet and they said the following: I have met so many adults who wished they had never quit and right around this age is when they did. 12-15. They all regretted it ALL of them.

So, keep her going by: offering a new teacher. Someone with a different approach. You know, you could try some teachers out at Music and Arts center. After I moved I taught at one of those stores for a bit, because I had sold my house, divorced, etc, and moved to another county. After two decades of my own private studio, I taught for a year at a shop and had to leave for health reasons, but I can tell you its not a bad place to try out some different teachers. You might be surprised at the quality. Its also 30 minute lessons, which is NOT ideal, BUT, for someone on the verge of quitting, maybe not too bad.

Finally: of course you can play a string instrument recreationally these days! You can get an electric violin and a pedal and have some fun too.

Just ideas.

Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:Yes it’s possible, though it sounds like you’d need to find a more laid back teacher. Laid back doesn’t necessarily mean less qualified, just that they understand and accept your DD’s goals and what she’s willing to put into it.

.

+1

Yes it’s possible, though it sounds like you’d need to find a more laid back teacher. Laid back doesn’t necessarily mean less qualified, just that they understand and accept your DD’s goals and what she’s willing to put into it.

My DD plays a string instrument, and her teacher is pressuring her to "give it more." She practices every day for about an hour, and, despite her best efforts, is not making the progress that her teacher wants to see. I see my DD trying her best, but I think this is perhaps not going to be the main activity in her life. She is 12.5 and has been with this teacher since age 8/9. When her teacher buckles down on her on how she is not making the desired progress, I think it makes her want to practice even less. I think her teacher is demanding, serious, and perhaps is a better match with the very serious student and/or the student with more natural musical talent. It could just be they are not a great fit at this stage.

I would love for her to have music be a continued part of her life. Many of her friends are in orchestra and so it's sorta become her thing in school as well as outside of school as she also does a youth orchestra and has a little group she plays. When I assess her talents objectively, I think her natural talents probably lie in other areas, but I think she enjoys orchestra enough that I think she would enjoy continuing and playing in various ensembles. For example, she would practice very hard and routinely rank last when she did seating auditions in her community youth orchestra (not that I care, just noting that the community youth orchestra is crazy competitive and full of kids who probably practice much more than her and/or have more natural talent). Her school orchestra is more low key since her school is very small, and she has fun with her orchestra peeps.

I was a very serious musician when I was younger, and my efforts were proportional to the outcome. I focused only on music and it was my only activity, and while I was able to accomplish a lot, and had great opportunities, I'm not sure if it was truly worth it when I look back in retrospect since I practiced 2 hours per day and really had no other time for any other hobbies or activities. Years later, I am not a musician but I love music.

I know this post is very rambling. Just wondering if anyone out there every felt the same way and what you/your child did at this juncture...