Anonymous wrote:As someone who hires au pairs there are upsides and downsides. The phone thing isn’t as big an issue as I thought it might be. More energy is real. But they can also just be sorta helpless about life stuff.

I think this depends on what you are looking for and the nanny. With the exception of this last year, we have always needed part-time care (~20 hours per week) after school/daycare. 20-something college or grad students have been perfect for this. In that time frame, I'm really just looking for someone to transport the kids from A to B, play with them, and handle snacks / easy dinner. I need someone with energy and creative ideas, not necessarily a more experienced manager type.

Last year due to the pandemic and having an infant around, we hired a full time nanny for the first time. She was 25 and a military wife with no kids of her own and she was awesome. She managed home schooling my older 2 kids (now 4 and 7), cared for my youngest from 5-13 mos., helped with laundry, cooked dinner for all of us and cleaned up after the kids. She left for health reasons (not related to pregnancy or the pandemic) & I'm still sad. Now all three kids are in school/daycare, so we're back to the part-time need. We have a 25 year old student again and she seems to be working out well so far, though she's certainly not as in-control as her predecessor. Again, I think this is a personality/experience thing, not an age thing. These two ladies are 1 month apart in age. One common characteristic that I think all of our nannies have had and I look for is younger siblings that they helped care for in some capacity. It's not the same as being a mom yourself of course, but I think it's the next best thing.

That's my long way of saying experience and personality matter more than age and, if you're looking for part-time hours due to your kids getting older, you might struggle to get the professional nannies that seem to dominate the infant market.

Anonymous wrote:As someone who hires au pairs there are upsides and downsides. The phone thing isn’t as big an issue as I thought it might be. More energy is real. But they can also just be sorta helpless about life stuff.

I found this to be very true. It’s not a problem if you don’t mind giving detailed instructions.

As someone who hires au pairs there are upsides and downsides. The phone thing isn’t as big an issue as I thought it might be. More energy is real. But they can also just be sorta helpless about life stuff.

We have a youngish nanny - early 30s but no kids - who used to be a preschool teacher but no prior nannying experience and she's been with us for four years. I don't think age matters so much as prior NANNYING experience, especially since you have three kids and one is a toddler. Our nanny started when our DD was 2.5 and she was absolutely wonderful! But since we've had a second child, our nanny is very mistake-prone and basically struggles to juggle the needs of two kids, even though DD is in school most of the day.

Not for me. We tried with a younger nanny and she was late constantly and always on her phone. She was 25 and had an active social life that constantly interferes with her work. Plus she was sick all the time.

Our forever nanny is older, calm and drama-free. Never late, never sick, and never on her phone when the kids are awake.

Aside from the phone-addiction with younger nannies/employees, education and experience are education and experience- age doesn’t matter.

But the phone thing is worth noting. Older nannies just don’t usually have the addiction.

Our nanny was 24 when we hired him, and he'd been a camp counselor previously. He was honest about having no experience and being open to following our standards/schedules/rules, etc. It's worked out very well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t ever mention the thing about maternity leave out loud to anyone. Jeez.

I never would but I can express it as a concern on an anonymous board. The point is that my kids aren’t good with disruption and it would be challenging to find a temporary replacement. My friends with younger nannies have said it’s a major downside.

The point is that employing people had downsides (older people can still get sick, etc) and you can either set out to not be discriminatory or you can think only of yourself.

Our first nanny was 23 when she started, and she was with us for 7 years. We just hired a 27 y.o. nanny. The first nanny was a foster parent who became an adoptive parent, and she was very maternal (albeit in a much younger way, if that makes sense). Second nanny is a little more like a cool aunt, which is actually a great fit for my older kids.

Bottom line, age or parental status doesn't tell you a lot. I'm in my 40s with two kids, and I'd make a terrible nanny. Our back up/date night childcare started working with us when she was in HS, and she's amazing with kids.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t ever mention the thing about maternity leave out loud to anyone. Jeez.

Well, it wouldn’t be maternity leave, the nanny would just quit.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t ever mention the thing about maternity leave out loud to anyone. Jeez.

+1 that's blatantly illegal.

Beyond that, the only thing here I would care about is experience. A 28 year old who has had two four year nannying gigs? Awesome. A 20 something who "has done a lot of babysitting"? Nope.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t ever mention the thing about maternity leave out loud to anyone. Jeez.

I never would but I can express it as a concern on an anonymous board. The point is that my kids aren’t good with disruption and it would be challenging to find a temporary replacement. My friends with younger nannies have said it’s a major downside.

Don’t ever mention the thing about maternity leave out loud to anyone. Jeez.

For those who have younger nannies who are in their 20s, would love to know what your experience is, especially if they have taken care of a younger child.

We just moved and sadly our nanny could not come with us. She is our second nanny, but they both have been older (late 50s/early 60s). They were both very experienced, raised their own children, and were really warm and nurturing with our kids who are currently 18 months, 4 and 8.

I have been interviewing potential new nannies and am finding most of the candidates seem to be much younger, between 25-28, and I am just not sure how I feel about someone younger. I worry first and foremost that they don’t have a maternal instinct or experience raising their own kids. Will they be as safety oriented or understand how quickly a child can run off? I also worry that this may not be a true career and just a stepping stone to something else even though they all say they want something long term. Or that they will have their own kids in a few years and we will need to deal with maternity leave, etc. My kids are not great with change so ideally want someone for 5+ years if we can find someone great.

On the flip side I am sure they have so much more energy and are more fun and creative. I have no doubt my oldest would love someone younger, but the job is mostly with my youngest since the older two are in school and camp full time.

Anyone have thoughts on this?